KIDDUSHIN, Mishnah: ALL OBLIGATIONS OF THE SON UPON THE FATHER, MEN ARE BOUND, BUT WOMEN ARE EXEMPT. BUT ALL OBLIGATIONS OF THE FATHER UPON THE SON, BOTH MEN AND WOMEN ARE BOUND....

The father is bound in respect of his son, to circumcise, redeem, teach him Torah, take a wife for him, and teach him a craft. Some say, to teach him to swim too. R. Judah said: He who does not teach his son a craft, it is as if he taught him brigandage.

The Rabbis say: Three combine [in the making of] men: God and father and mother. If men honor their father and mother, God says, 'I reckon it to them as if I dwelt among them, and as if they honored me.' (KID. 30b)

Our Rabbis taught: He must honor him in life and must honor him in death...'In death' eg: if one is reporting something heard from him mouth, he should not say, 'Thus did my father say', but 'Thus said my father, my teacher, for whose resting place may I be an atonement.' But that is only within twelve months..Thereafter he must say, 'His memory be for a blessing, for the life of the World to come.' (KID 31b)

Our Rabbis taught: What is 'fear' and what is 'honor'? 'Fear' means that the son must neither stand in his father's place, nor sit in his place, nor contradict his words, nor tip the scales against him. 'Honor' means that he must give him food and drink, clothe and cover him, lead him in and out.(KID 31b)

Let not a man say to himself: 'Seeing that my Father in heaven was the first cause of my life, therefore will I go and do the will of my Father in heaven, and leave the will of my father and mother.' Hence, 'Honor thy father and mother' (Exod 22:12), and also, 'Honor the Lord from thy substance' (Prov 3:9). And let not a man say, 'Seeing that my father was the primary cause of my life, I will do the will the my father, and neglect the will of my mother,' for it says, 'Ye shall fear your mother and father' (Lev. 19:3, and 'Ye shall fear they God' (Deut 6:13). ®TS0¯®IP5,0¯

If a man curses his parents or strikes or wounds them, God, if one might so say, folds His feet under the throne of glory, and says, 'I have made my honor equal to theirs, [for the same word, honor, is used of all three], for all three of us are equal in respect of honor. Had I been beside that man, so would he have done to me. Rightly, then, have I done that I have not lived in the house of that man.' Whoever seeks many years and days and wealth and possessions and life in this world, and long life in the world to come which has no end, let him do the will of his Father in heaven, and of his earthly father and mother. (Tan. d.b. El p. 134)®TS¯®IP0,0¯

The Rabbis noticed that in Exod. 22:12 the father is put before the mother; in Lev. 19:3, the mother is put before the father. So they say: It is known before God that a son [naturally] honors his mother more than his father, because she pets him; therefore God put the honor of father before that of mother; it is known to God that a son reverences his father more than his mother, because his father teaches him the Law; therefore God put the reverence of mother before that of father. (KID 31a; MEK, Pisha, Bo 1, p. 2)

Whenever R.Tarfon's mother wanted to get up on her bed, he bent down and she would step upon him. When he came to the House of Study and boasted of it, dthey said, 'You have not fulfilled half of the commandment to 'honor'. Has she thrown your purse into the sea before your eyes, and you did not put her to shame?" When R. Joseph heard the footsteps of his mother, he said, 'I rise up before the Shechinah which is approaching.' KID 31b

In what does reverence for a father consist? In not sitting in his presence, and in not speaking in his presence, and in not contradicting him. Of what does honor for parents consist? In providing for them food and drink, in clothing them, in giving them shoes for their feet, in helping them to enter or leave the house [or possibly, to spend and to ear]. R. Eliezer said: Even if his father order him to throw a purse of gold into the sea, he should obey him. (KID 31b-32a)

R. Elazar b. Mattai said: If my father were to say to me,

'Give me some water to drink,' and I had at that moment a command [of the Law] to fulfil, then I should omit the honor due to a father, and fulfil the command...R. Isi b. Judah said: If the command can be executed by others, let it be done by others, and let the son fulfil the honor due to a father...The Halakah is as R. Isi said...Samuel said to R. Judah: Speak not thus to your father, for it is said, 'If a father makes a mistake in the words of the Law, let not the son say, "Father you have made a mistake," but let him say, "father, in the Law it is written thus," But [it is replied} would not even such a reply pain the father? Rather let the son say, 'In the Law we find the following verse. (KID 32a)

R. Abbahu said, "My son Abimi fulfilled the command, "Honor thy father and mother." Abimi had five sons ordained as Rabbis in his father's lifetime, but whenever his father came and called out at his gate, Abimi would run to open the door, and called, 'Yes, yes, I a coming to you.' One day his father asked him for some water. When he brought it, his father had fallen asleep. He bent over him, and stood there till his father woke up. (KID 31b).

One day R. Tarfon's mother's sandals split and broke and as she could not mend them, she had to walk across the courtyard barefoot. So R. Tarfon kept stretching his hands under her feet, so that she might walk over them all the way. One day he was ill,and theRAbbis came to visit him, and his mother said,'Pray for my son Tarfon, for he honors me more than is my due.' 'What has he done to you?' they said. She told them what had happened. They replied, 'If he had one to you a thousand times more,he would not have done half of the honor enjoined in the Law.'®TS0¯®IP5,0¯

The mother of R. Ishmael came to complain about her son to the Rabbis, and she said, 'Rebuke my son, Ishmael, for he does not show me honor.' Then the faces of the Rabbis grew pale, and they said, 'Is it possible that R. Ishmael should not show honor to his mother? What has he done to you?' She said, 'When he goes to the House of Study, I want to wash his feet and to drink the water with which I have washed them and he will not permit it.' They said, 'Since that is her wish, honor her by permitting it.'

A man may feed his father on fattened chickens and inherit Hell,and another may put his father to treading the mill, and inherit Paradise. In the first case, a son gave his father fattened chickens to eat and the father said, 'My son, whence did you get these?' The son said,'Old man,old man, eat and be silent; so the dogs eat and are silent.' He feeds his father on fattened chickens and inherits hell. The other man grinds in his mill; there comes an ordinance for a man from each family must go and work for the government. The son says, 'Father, come and grind here instead of me; if any ill-treatment should happen, better it befall me and not you; if there should be scourgings, better that they come to me, and not to you.' Such a one makes his father grind the mill, and will inherit Paradise.®TS¯®IP0,0¯

Rabbu Simeon ben Yohai said: "Great is the honoring of father and mother, for God makes more of it than of honoring Himself. About God it is written, 'Honor the Lord with thy substance' (Prov. 3:9); if you have substance, you are obligated to do so, and if you have no substance, you are not obligated. But, as regards the honor of father and mother, you must honor them whether you are rich or poor, even if you have to beg for them at the doors of other men's houses. (TJ KID 1:7, f. 61b; TJ Pe'ah 1, 15c-d.

An Israelite who is zealous for the honor of parents -- what is his reward? The honor of parents, our Rabbis tell us, is one of those commandments for the fulfilment of which a man receives the fruit in this world, while the capital is reserved for him in the world to come, as is rearing one's sons in the study of Torah. (SHAB 127a) ®TS0¯®IP5,0¯

R. Abbahu said: His disciples asked R. Eliezer the Great: "How far does the honoring of father and mother extend? He replied,'Go and see what Dama b. Netina did. His mother was a foolish person, and she slapped him in the presence of his fellows, and all he said was, 'Let that suffice thee, my mother." Our Rabbis say that some of our wise men came to buy a precious stone in the place of one which had fallen out, and been lost, from the breastplate of the High Priest. He lived at Ashkelon, and they agreed with him to give a thousand gold pieces for the stone. He went in, and found his father asleep with his leg stretched out upon the box which contained the jewel: he would not disturb him, and came back without it. When the wise men perceived this, they thought that he wanted more money, and they offered him ten thousand gold pieces. When his father woke up, he went in and brought out the jewel. The wise men offered him the ten thousand pieces, but he replied: 'Far be it from me to make a profit from honoring my father; I will take only the thousand which we had agreed on.' And what reward did God give him? Our Rabbis say that in that very year his cow bore a red calf, which he sold for more than ten thousand gold pieces.

(DEUT RAB, Debarim, 1:15)

"He has set the world in their heart" (Eccles. 3:2). R. Jonathan interpreted the words to refer to the love of children which God has put in men's hearts. Like a king who had two sons; the elder honored him; the younger was corrupt, and yet he loved the younger more than the elder. (Eccles. R. 3 sect. 2:3 ad hoc).

Once R. Hiyya b. Abba met R. Joshua b. Levi with a cloth thrown over his head, and taking a boy to school; he said to him, 'What does this mean?' He quoted the verses in Deut. 4:9,10, and said, 'It is no small thing that after the words, "thou shalt teach them to thy sons, and thy sons' sons", follow immediately the words, "The day that thou stoodest before the Lord thy God in Horeb." Henceforward R. Hiyya ate no breakfast until he had taught a boy a piece of scripture, repeating with him what he had learned the day before, and teaching him a new bit. R. Huna ate no breakfast until he had taken a boy to school. (KID 30a)

There was once a man who made a will saying that his son should inherit nothing of his until he became a fool. R. Jose b. Judah and Rabbi Judah the Prince went to R. Joshua b. Karha to ask about this matter. They saw him outside his house, and noticed that he was crawling on his hands and feet with a reed in his mouth, and following after his son. When they saw him, they hid themselves, and then they went to him, and asked him about the will. He laughed and said, "The matter about which you ask has happened to me!" Hence you see that when a man lives to have children, he acts like a fool. (Midr. Ps. on 92:14).

Do not threaten a child. Either punish him or forgive him. (Semahot 2:6)

If you must strike a child, strike it with the string of a shoe. (Baba Bathra 21a)

When Rabbi Hanina was eighty years old, he was still able to stand on one foot and remove the shoe from the other. He said: "my strength in old age comes from the frequent warm baths and anointing in oil given my body during infancy."

When a child is a little older, he should be fed eggs and sour milk. When he is still older, it is important for his development that he be given things to break. Rabbah often bought imperfect earthenware for his little ones to break if they wished. (Hullin 24)

We should not say to a child: I will give you something, and later change your mind. For this teaches the child to lie. (Sukkah, 46)

He who denies a child religious knowledge robs him of his inheritance. (Sanhedrin 91b)

A man should always eat and drink less than his means allow, spend up to his means on clothes, but beyond his means in honoring his wife and children, because they are dependent on him and he is dependent upon God.(Hullin 84b, interpreting PS 112:5: "Well is it with the man that dealeth graciously, that ordereth his affairs rightfully")

There are three partners in a child: God, the father and the mother. The father supplies the while substance of which the child's bones, sinews, nails, brain and the white of the eyes are formed. The mother supplies the red substance of which are formed the skin, flesh, hair, blood, and the dark of the eyes. God supplies the spirit, the breath, beauty of features, eyesight, hearing, and the ability to speak and to walk, understanding and discernment. Niddah 31b

In the womb the embryo is able to see from one end of the world to the other; it is taught all of the Torah, which the touch of an angel causes it to forget just before it is born. 'Folklore has it that the indentation on the upper lip is a sign of that touch.'

There is no time a man spends on earth that he enjoys more than the time he spends in the womb. Before it is allowed to emerge, the child must take an oath to be righteous and never to be wicked; and although the whole world should someday proclaim it to be righteous, the child must still see itself as wicked in an effort at self-improvement. The child is also instructed to bear in mind that the Holy One is pure, that His creations are pure, and that the soul which it receives is pure. If the soul is preserved in purity, well and good, but if not, it will be taken away. (Niddah 30b)

KET 60a-61b: A woman who couples in a mill will have epileptic children. One who couples on the ground will have children with long necks...One who eats mustard during her pregnancy will have intemperate children. One who eats cress will have blear eyed children. One who eats fish brine will have children with blinking eyes. One who eats clay will have ugly children. One who drinks intoxicating liquor will have ungainly children. One who eats meat and drinks wine will have children of a robust constitution. One who eats eggs will have children with big eyes. One who eats fish will have graceful children. One who eats parsley will have beautiful children. One who eats coriander will have stout children. One who eats ethrop will have fragrant children. The daughter of King Shapur, whose mother had eaten ethrog during his pregnancy, used to be presented before her father as his principal perfume.

An infant should be nursed for 24 months. And the nursing mother shuld eat a great deal, but not things which are injurious. For instance, hops, lichen, small fishes and easrth. Pumpkins and quinces, a palm's heart and unripe dates, curdled milk and fish hash, since some of these cause the flow of milk to stop while others cause the milk to become turbid. KET 60b

KET 63a: the daughter of Rabbi Akiba acted as a her mother had once done towards R. Akiba towards Ben Azzai. This is indeed an illlustration of what people say: Ewe follows ewe; a daughter's acts are like those of her mother.

KET 62b R. Hanania b. Hakinai spent twelve years at the academy. By the time he returned the streets of the town were altered and he was unable to find the way to his home. Going down to the riverbank and sitting down he heard a girl being addressed: "Daughter of Hakinai, O daughter of Hakinai, fill up your pitcher and let us go! It is obvious, he thought, that the girl is ours, and he followed her. When they reached the house his wife was sitting and sifting flour. She lifted up her eyes and seeing him, was so overcome with joy that she fainted. 'O, Lord of the Universe,' the husband prayed to Him, 'this poor soul, is this her reward/'And so he prayed for mercy to be shown to her, and she revived.

KET 62b R. Hama b. Bisa went away and spent twelve years at the house of study. When he returned he said, 'I will not act as did b. Hakina. He therefore entered the local study house and sent word to his home. Meanwhile his son, R. Oshaia, whom his father did not recognize, entered and sast down before him and addressed to him a question on one of the subjects of study. R. Hama, seeing how well verse he was in his studies, became very depressed. 'Had I been here,' he said, 'I also could have had such a child.' When he entered his house his son came in, whereupon the father rose before him, believing that he wished to ask him some further legal questions. 'What father', his wife chuckled, 'stands up before a son!'

YEB 62a: obligation to have children. Beth Shammai ruled: two males and two females, Beth hillel ruled: a male and a female; elsewhere it was taught: R. Nathan stated that Beth Shammai ruled a male and a female, and Beth Hillel ruled: Either a male or a female. Why: Because it is said, "He created it not a waste, He formed it to be inhabited," (Isaiah 45:18), and he, with even one child, has obviously helped it to be inhabited.

YEB 63b It was taught: R. Eliezer state, He who does not engage in propagation of the race it is though he sheds blood, and R. Jacob said: As though he has diminished the Divine Image. as it is said, And you, be you fruitful and multiply" (Gen 9:7)

Shab 10b: A man should never single out one son among his other sons, for on account of the two sela's weight of silk, which Jacob gave Joseph in excess of his others sons, his brothers became jealous of him and matter resulted in our forefathers' descent into Egypt.

SAN 76b: He who loves his wife as himself and honors her more than himself, and leads his children in the right path and marries them just before they attain puberty --of him Scripture says, "And thou shalt know that thy tabernacle shall be in peace and thou shalt visit thy habitation and shalt not sin" (Job 5:24)

"bringing up children seen as involving pain" Erubin 100b

SAN 100b: The world cannot exist without males and females; happy is he whose children are males, and woe to him whose children are females, because of anxiety: Ben Sira 43:9-10: "A daughter is a vain treasure to her father: through anxiety on her account, he cannot sleep at night. As a minor, lest she be seduced; in her majority, lest she play the harlot; as an adult, lest she be not married; if she marries, lest she bear no children; if she grows old, lest she engage in witchcraft."

KET 50a: Whoever brings his son to school under the age of six will never be able to restore his child to normal health: he will be feeble but learned.

R. Isaac stated: It was ordained at Usha

that a man must have patience with his son until he is twelve years of age and induce him to study gently; after twelve years he may use harsher measures if his son is neglectful or indifferent...

Abaye said: a child of six is ripe for Scripture; one of ten for Mishnah; one of thirteen, for a full twenty-four hours fast, and in the case of a girl, one who is of the age of twelve. (KET 50a)

If parents wish to forgive a stubborn and rebellious son, they may forgive him. (Sotah 25a)

SOTAH 49a: R. Huna once found a juicy date which he took and wrapped in his mantle. His son, Rabbah, came and said to him,'I smell the fragrance of a juicy date'. He said to him, 'My son, there is purity in thee', and gave it to him. MeanwhileRabbah's son,Abba, came; RAbbah took it and gave it tohim. R. Huna said to Rabbah, 'My son, thou has gladdened my heart and blunted my teeth. That is what the popular proverb says, 'A father's love is for his children; the children's love is for their own children.'

Baba Mezi'a 33a: A teacher takes precedence over the father because the father brings a child into the world, whereas the teacher, who instructed him in wisdom, brings him to the future world.

LAM RAB I.1 sec. 1: The exile of Israel may be likened to a king who had a son. So long as he obeyed the will of his father he clothed him in garments of fine wool, but when he disregarded his will he clothed him in exiles' garments.