6. Which describes the two holy ways, the contemplative and the active.

Here is what you must do if you want to be saved. The Scriptures tell of the two ways which lead to Heaven: the contemplative life and the active life. Without following these paths it is impossible to enter there. What do they entail? The contemplative life is a manner and a state of serving God wherein one loves Our Lord so greatly and so ardently that she totally forgets father, mother, children, everyone, even herself, because of the great, consuming thought she devotes endlessly to her Creator. She never thinks of other things; nothing else is important to her. No poverty, tribulation, nor suffering (which, indeed, might damage another) hinders her heart, the heart of the true contemplative. Her manner of life completely disdains everything in the world and all its fleeting joys. She remains solitary, apart from others, knees to the ground, joined hands pointing heavenward, heart raised up in such elevated thought that in contemplation she ascends to the presence of God. Through divine inspiration she sees the Holy Trinity, and the Court of Heaven and all of its joys.

The perfect contemplative often is so ravished that she seems other than herself, and the consolation, sweetness, and pleasure she experiences can scarcely be told, nor can any earthly joy be compared with them. She feels and tastes the glories and joys of Paradise. She sees God in spirit through her contemplation. Her burning love gives perfect sufficiency in this world because she feels no other desire. God delights his servant, offering the sweets of His Holy Paradise. Pure, holy, heavenly thoughts give perfect hope of joining that joyous company. No other exultation compares; those who have tried the contemplative way know this. To my regret, I cannot speak of that exultation any more than a blind man can describe colors. But this is the way, above all others, manifestly agreeable to God. Certain holy contemplatives are said to have risen physically, soaring above the earth in their contemplation, by God’s miracle, as if the body were following the thought as it rose toward Heaven. I am not worthy to speak of this holy, elevated life, nor to describe it as adequately as it deserves. But the Holy Scriptures are filled with words on it for anyone who wishes to learn more.

The active life is the other way of serving God. The one following this way is so charitable that if she could, she would serve all for the love of God. So she serves in hospitals, visiting the sick and the poor, aiding with her own wealth and her own efforts, generously, for the love of God. She has such great pity for the creatures she sees in sin, misery, or tribulation that she weeps as if the trouble were her own. She seeks her neighbor’s good as if it were her own; and since she always is striving to do good, she never is idle. Her ardent desire to accomplish charitable works is unceasing; she devotes all her energies to them. Such a woman bears all trials and tribulations patiently for the love of Our Lord. This active life, as you can see, serves the world more than the other.

Although both ways are excellent, Our Lord Jesus Christ gave his opinion as to the more perfect of the two. the figure of the contemplative life, seated herself at His feet, as one who had no heart for anything else and was totally consumed by holy love. Martha, her sister, the example of the active life, was the hostess of Our Lord, busying herself to serve Him and the apostles; she complained to Him because her sister did not help her. Our Lord excused Mary, saying: "Martha, you are very diligent, and your work is of great excellence and necessary for the aid and succor of others. Nevertheless, the contemplative life represents the abandonment of the whole world and all its demands only to meditate on Him. That is of greater dignity and more perfect."

For this reason holy men long ago established religious orders, for that life is the nearest estate to God. Those wishing to love in contemplation can separate themselves from the world for the service of God without other cares. Along with pleasing themselves, such contemplatives greatly please God when they are faithful to their duty.

9. Wherein it is explained how the good and wise princess will attempt to make peace between the prince and his barons if there is any difficulty between them.

If any neighboring or foreign prince wars for any grievance against her lord, or if her lord wages war against another, the good lady will weigh the odds carefully. She will balance the great ills, infinite cruelties, losses, deaths, and destruction to property and people against the war’s outcome, which is usually unpredictable. She will seriously consider whether she can preserve the honor of her lord and yet prevent the war. Working wisely and calling on God’s aid, she will strive to maintain peace. So also, if any prince of the realm or the country, or any baron, knight, or powerful subject should hold a grudge against her lord, or if he is involved in any such quarrel and she foresees that for her lord to take a prisoner or make a battle would lead to trouble in the land, she will strive toward peace. In France the discontent of an insignificant baron (named Bouchart) against the King of France, the great prince, has recently resulted in great trouble and damage to the kingdom. The Chronicles o France recount the tale of many such misadventures. Again, not long ago, in the case of Lord Robert of Artois, a disagreement with the king harmed the French realm and gave comfort to the English.

Mindful of such terrible possibilities, the good lady will strive to avoid destruction of her people, making peace and urging her lord (the prince) and his council to consider the potential harm inherent in any martial adventure. Furthermore, she must remind him that every good prince should avoid shedding blood, especially that of his subjects. Since making a new war is a grave matter, only long thought and mature deliberation will devise the better way toward the desired result. Thus, always saving both her own honor and her lord’s, the good lady will not rest until she has spoken, or has had someone else speak to those who have committed the misdeed in question, alternately soothing and reproving them. While their error is great and the prince’s displeasure reasonable, and though he ought to punish them, she would always prefer peace. Therefore, if they would be willing to correct their ways or make suitable amends, she gladly would try to restore them to her lord’s good graces.

With such words as these, the good princess will be peacemaker. In such manner, Good Queen Blanche, mother of Saint Louis, always strove to reconcile the king with his barons, and, among others, the Count of Champagne. The proper role of a good, wise queen or princess is to maintain peace and concord and to avoid wars and their resulting disasters. Women particularly should concern themselves with peace because men by nature are more foolhardy and headstrong, and their overwhelming desire to avenge themselves prevents them from foreseeing the resulting dangers and terrors of war. But woman by nature is more gentle and circumspect. Therefore, if she has sufficient will and wisdom she can provide the best possible means to pacify man. Solomon speaks of peace in the twenty-fifth chapter of the Book of Proverbs. Gentleness and humility assuage the prince. The gentle tongue (which means the soft word) bends and breaks harshness. So water extinguishes fire’s heat by its moisture and chill.

Queens and princesses have greatly benefitted this world by bringing about peace between enemies, between princes and their barons, or between rebellious subjects and their lords. The Scriptures are full of examples. The world has no greater benevolence than a good and wise princess. Fortunate is that land which has one. I have listed as examples many of these wondrous women in The Book of the City of Ladies.

What results from the presence of such a princess? All her subjects who recognize her wisdom and kindness come to her for refuge, not only as their mistress but almost as the goddess on earth in whom they have infinite hope and confidence. Keeping the land in peace and tranquility, she and her works radiate charity.

10. Which speaks of the paths of devout charity which are to be followed by a good princess.

The good princess will do even more than tread the pathway of charity. She will personify Saint Basil’s words to the rich: "Your temporal possessions come from God." You have more of them than others more deserving. Was God not just in dividing them unequally? Not at all. By sharing with the poor you can merit God’s gifts to you; and because of their suffering, the poor will be crowned with a diadem of Patience. Do not let the bread of the hungry mildew in your larder! Do not let moths eat the poor man’s cloak. Do not store the shoes of the barefoot. Do not hoard the money of the needy. Things you possess in too great abundance belong to the poor and not to you. You are the thief who steals from God if you are able to help your neighbor and refuse to do it.

Therefore, the well-guided princess must hire fine administrators to help her in her good works. No matter how deserving of compassion are princes who act on bad advice or who are betrayed by dishonest ministers, I believe that the truly good-intentioned select competent counsellors who would not dare to give them bad advice. Ordinarily, a master chooses servants according to his own disposition, and they counsel their master to good or evil according to what they think he wills. Likewise, a good lady will retain servants in her own likeness. She will commission them to inquire throughout the town or elsewhere to find the destitute people, gentlefolk who have fallen on hard times, neglected widows, unfortunate wives, poor girls of an age to be married, women in childbed, students, priests, and monks living in poverty. She will send them help by her almoner, whom she will know to be devout, charitable, and generous even before she appoints him. She will not imitate the custom of certain lords, noblemen, and prelates, who make the most dishonest servant master.

The noble lady will send her almoner secretly to these poor, good people so that even they themselves will not know whence the help is coming; that was what Saint Nicholas counseled. Nor will the good lady, accompanied by her ladies, be ashamed occasionally to visit hospitals and the poor in their homes. Speaking to the poverty-stricken and the ill, touching them and gently comforting them, she will be distributing the greatest charity of all. For the poor feel especially comforted and prefer the kind word, the visit, and the attention of the great and powerful personage over anything else. They think the world despises them. If someone of importance deigns to visit and speak with them, they thereby recover a certain self-respect, which everyone naturally desires.

So doing, the princess or great lady acquires greater merit than a lesser person who performs the same good deed. Three reasons justify that disparity. First, the more exalted the donor, the deeper comfort the poor person receives. Second, the greater the person, the more she must humble herself, and thus the more profound the virtue. Third, and most important, she sets a good example for those who see a good work performed with such spirit of humility. Nothing so well instructs subjects as observation of their lord or lady. Therefore, it is as great a benefit when the highborn or others in authority are graciously well-bred as it is a great misfortune when the opposite is true. No lady is so important that it is shameful or unsuitable for her to go devoutly and humbly to pardons or to visit churches or holy places. A lady ashamed to do good is ashamed to work for her own salvation.

Perhaps you will ask me how a great lady can give alms if she has no money, for I have already said that it is dangerous to amass worldly treasure. But, of course, there is no inevitable harm in the princess gathering treasure through revenues or income rightfully her own and gotten without extortion. The question is what she does with these treasures. Certainly God does not oblige her to give all to the poor if she does not want to. She can rightfully use it for her own necessities, to preserve her worldly station, to pay her servants, to give suitable gifts, and to pay her debts. Debts must be paid even before alms are distributed, for there is no merit in giving as alms what truly is due another. The good lady, however, should avoid the temptation of extravagances. Denying herself numerous robes and superfluous jewels and using her money instead for alms is true generosity. Admirable is she who so acts!

She might be compared to the wise man elected governor of a city who, being prudent and clever, realized that former holders of that office later had been deposed, banished, and exiled. Deprived of everything, they were left to die of hunger in a poor country. He thus provided for such a contingency, so that if ever he were exiled he would not starve. He arranged that his pay and the wealth earned in office that was left over after providing for necessities was stored safely. In the end it happened to him as to the others, but his wise provision preserved him from want. Likewise, what one saves out of abundance to give to the poor and to other works of merit is the treasure laid aside in holy provision to serve after death as protection against the exile of hell. This is the incessant message of the Scriptures: "Lay up treasures in Heaven! Lay up treasures in Heaven!" One can take along nothing but such treasures. As the Bible truly demonstrates, not only princesses but all women who are good housekeepers understand this manner of thrift.

In short, then, charity (joined to other noble virtues in her heart) will provide the benevolent princess with such good will that she will celebrate other people’s worthiness as greater than her own and rejoice in their welfare as if it were her own. Their good reputation also will delight her. Accordingly, she will encourage the good to persevere in their virtue and the wicked to desist.

11. Which begins to expound the moral teachings which Worldly Prudence will give the princess.

Worldly Prudence’s teachings and advice do not depart greatly from God’s, but rather arise from them and depend on them. Therefore, we shall speak of the wise governance of life according

to Prudence, who will teach the princess or noble lady to cherish honor and good reputation above all things in this earthly world. Prudence also will say that God is not in the least displeased with a creature living morally in the world, and she who lives the moral life wili love the good renown called honor. Saint Augusttine’s Book of Corrections tells us that two things necessary for living well are conscience and good repute. Similarly, the wise author of the Book of Ecciesiasticus exhorts: "Cherish good repute for it will endure longer than any other treasure."

Agreeing that, above all earthly things, nothing so suits the noble as honor, the good princess will ask what qualities belong to true honor. Certainly not worldly riches, at least not according to the world’s normal habits. Riches are of meager value in perfecting honor. What things, then, are suitable? Good morals. What in the world is the use of good morals? They perfect the noble creature, achieving the good repute wherein lies perfect honor. No matter what wealth a prince or princess possesses, if she does not lead a life of reputation and praise through doing good, she lacks honor regardless of the blandishments of her entourage to suggest that she has it. True honor must be above reproach. How greatly should the noble lady love honor? Certainly more than her life, for she would pay more dearly for the loss of it. The reason for this is clear. Whoever dies well is saved, but the one who is dishonored suffers reproach, living or dead, so long as she is remembered.

Good reputation is the greatest treasure a princess or noble lady can acquire. No other is so great or should be sought more eagerly. Ordinary treasure is useful only in the locale in which she finds herself, but the treasure which is the reputation of her honor serves her in lands near and far. Like the odor of sanctity, good repute is a sweet fragrance from the body wafting across the world so that everyone is aware of it. The fragrance of good repute thus goes forth from a worthy person so that everyone else may sense her good example.

After this admonishment by Prudence, the princess might well ask what she must do to put these ideas into practice. Her life will pivot around two particular points. One is the morals she will observe and abide by, and the other is the style of life which will direct her. Two moral considerations are especially necessary for women who desire honor, for without them it is unattainable:namely, Sobriety and Chastity.

Sobriety, the first, does not concern merely eating and drinking, but indeed all else serving to restrain and moderate excess. Sobriety will prevent a lady from being difficult to serve, for she will not be unreasonable in her demands. Despite her high estate she will be well satisfied with whatever is served of wines and foods. Not dwelling on such matters, she will partake of only the necessities life requires. Sobriety also will keep her from excessive sleep, because Prudence tells her that too much repose encourages sin and vice. Furthermore, Sobriety will deflect her from avarice. A small amount of wealth will be a great sufficiency for her. Above all, Prudence will restrain her from coveting extravagant clothes, jewels, headdresses, and an unreasonable mode of life. Unfailingly, Prudence will tell her that although all princesses and wealthy ladies customarily ought to be richly adorned with robes, headgear, and ornaments corresponding to their station in life, discretion must rule decoration. If you, good princess, are not content with your station nor the traditional styles and would prefer to acquire something finer or desire to introduce new styles, you are mistaken. For all frivolous things redound to your dishonor and insult the virtue of Sobriety. Therefore, do not do it. It benefits no one unless somehow it is in accord with the desires of one’s lord. Even so, the good princess should not imitate anything extravagant without good advice, counsel, and just cause.

Sobriety also should be evident in all the lady’s senses, as well as in her actions and costume. Her glance will be slow, deliberate, and without vagueness. Sobriety will protect her from too great curiosity about sweet scents, to which many ladies give great attention, spending large quantities of money on perfume. Likewise, it will tell her that she should not seek out or indulge the body in such delights, when she would do better to give the money to the poor. The same Sobriety will duly correct her tongue, for her speech must be free from extravagances so unbecoming to great ladies, and, indeed, to all worthy women. Heartily despising the vice of falsehood, she will prefer truth, which will be so habitual in her mouth that always what she says will be believed and respected. She will be known as a person who never lies. The virtue of truth is more necessary in the mouths of princes and princesses than in others because everyone must trust them. Sobriety also will prevent her from speaking words she has not carefully considered in advance, especially in those places where they will be weighed or reported.

Prudence and Sobriety teach a lady well-ordered speech and wise eloquence. She never will be coy, but will speak well-considered words, soft and rather low-pitched, uttered with a pleasant face and without excessive motion of the hands or body, nor facial grimaces. She will avoid excessive or uncalled-for laughter. Refraining from speaking ill of others, she will not blame, but rather will encourage goodness. Gladly she will keep in check vague, dishonest words, nor will she permit others to speak them to her. Her humor also will be discreet.

In the midst of her own entourage, the princess will speak a virtuous language of good example, so that those who listen to her directly, as well as those who hear later reports, will perceive that her words come from her goodness, wisdom, and honesty. Never speaking ungraciously to her companions or servants, nor quarreling or speaking viciously, instead she will instruct her household retainers and friends gently, correcting their shortcomings softly, politely, threatening to expel them if they do not reform, punishing them in a quiet voice without being needlessly unkind. Crude brutality from the mouth of a lady or, indeed, any woman turns more against herself than against the one to whom it is addressed. Moreover, her commands must be reasonable for the time and place, as well as suitable for the person receiving them, each according to his own proper duty.

The lady willingly will read books inculcating good habits, as well as studying on occasion devotional books. She will disdain volumes describing dishonest habits or vice. Never allowing them in her household, she will not permit them in the presence of any daughter, relative, or lady-in-waiting. Examples of good or of evil doubtlessly attract the attention of those who see or hear them. Hence the noble lady who takes pleasure in remembering or in speaking good words likewise will be pleased to listen to them; above all, she will delight in the words of God. Whoever belongs to God willingly hears His word. As it is set forth in Scripture: "Those who love me hear my word with a full heart and observe it." Consequently, she will invite good, notable clerics to deliver sermons on feast days, sharing these with her daughters, ladies, and her whole family, desiring the refinement of her own knowledge of our faith’s articles, commandments, and ideas on Salvation.

Regarding worldly affairs, she will listen gladly to worthy people, brave knights, and gentlemen who speak of their deeds and accomplishments, as well as to great churchmen cherished for their knowledge, and to all noble men and women worthy of hearing for their fine sensibilities and exemplary lives. Appreciating them with honor, she also will lavish upon them suitable gifts. Similarly, the wise noblewoman will gather about her those who lead admirable, elevated lives of devotion. Seeking them out act to her own advantage.

Moreover, the lady will have appointed a certain number of wise gentlemen as advisers, those she knows to be good, intelligent, upright, and free from greed. Greedy retainers shame everyone. The entourages of certain princes and princesses sadly demonstrate that counsellors who are known to be greedy give false advice to the ones they counsel. Those having this defect will nor give loyal, dependable advice either for profit of the soul or for honor of the body. Therefore, a prudent lady will test in advance her counsellors’ honor and suitability. With them, she then will take counsel daily at a particular hour concerning the duties which she and they must execute.

After this morning session she will go to table, which on certain feast days, or more frequently, will be set in the great hall. There she will be seated among her ladies, handmaidens, and other significant people, each placed according to proper protocol of rank. She will be served the foods befitting her status as ruler, and throughout the meal will maintain the fine old custom of having some worthy man standing by her table to recite poems about ancient deeds of virtuous ancestors, or to tell exemplary tales. Beneficent order will rule the hall. After grace has been offered and the tables removed, she will hold court. Lords, knights, squires, ladies, or strangers who have come to see her, each will she receive correctly, in her customary gracious manner, as one well trained for such duty. She will offer each due honor so that everyone will be content. Speaking politely and showing a cheerful face, she will address the elderly more seriously and the young more gaily. So agreeably will she welcome those coming simply to talk or to hear an entertainment that all will say she is charming and a true lady for all seasons.

After spices have been served at the feast’s end, the lady will go to her private apartment. There, if she wishes, she will rest for a while. If it is a working day (as opposed to a Sabbath) and she has no more pressing occupation, she will avoid idleness by taking up some handiwork and will gather her handmaidens and ladies to do the same. Then she will allow all to indulge in various honest amusements of their own choice. Laughing with others, she will amuse herself, talking with them informally so that all will praise her great friendliness and kindness and love her with great devotion.

Remaining thus until the hour of Vespers she will hear the service in her chapel if it is a feast day and if no other business detains her. In any case, she certainly will say prayers with her chaplain. After that, particularly if it is summertime, she will enjoy herself in the garden until suppertime. She will meander here and there for recreation, but if some of her subjects need her, she will welcome them to come in and will listen to their petitions. After supper, toward bedtime, her thoughts will return in prayer to God. So will conclude the order of ordinary days for the prudent princess engaged in good and holy activity.

Yet other pleasures delight ladies, such as hunting, boating on the river, dancing (if they are young), and certain games. I do not prescribe or teach these, preferring to leave them to the discretion and wish of the ladies themselves and their husbands. Such sports and entertainments can be allowed without hesitation to even the most virtuous ladies when time and place are suitable, disporting themselves with moderation, always avoiding excess.

13. Here begins the discussion of Prudence’s six principal teachings which should be observed by every princess who loves and desires honor. The first of these concerns her attitude toward her lord and master.

Now that we have spoken both generally and specifically about the princess’s devotion to God, good habits, and recommended style of life, we are pleased to present for her benefit seven teachings which, according to Prudence, are fitting and necessary for all desiring to live wisely and honorably. Princesses, and all ladies of great, ordinary, and low degree ought to note well and practice these seven points. Good theory is worthless when not followed by good practice.

The first of the seven rules is: A lady loving honor, or any woman in the estate of marriage, must love her husband and live with him in peace. Otherwise she already has encountered the torments of Hell, where storms rage perpetually. Although doubtlessly women of all sorts may love their husbands dearly, either they do not know all of these rules or, because of their youth, do not know how to demonstrate their love. This lesson will teach them how.

The noble princess wishing to love according to the rules of honor will conduct herself toward her lord, whether he is young or old, in all ways expected for good faith and true love. She will be humble toward him in deed, word, and attitude. She will obey him without complaint and will keep her peace as punctiliously as did Good Queen Esther in the Bible’s first chapter of her book, where her lord so loved and honored her that she had no wish he would not grant. The lady will show her love by lavishing care and attention on all matters pertaining to his welfare, that of his soul as well as of his body. In order to attend to his soul she will win the confidence of his confessor, to whom she can turn if she sees in her lord any indication of sin whose practice could lead to his perdition. She might hesitate to mention such frailty to her husband for fear of displeasing him; instead, she will have his confessor admonish him, begging him to serve Our Lord faithfully. And, when giving alms and doing good works, she always will say: "Pray God for my lord and me."

Parallel to her concern for her lord’s soul is the lady’s concentration on his bodily needs. She must assure that his health is maintained and his life preserved from threat. Therefore she will wish to talk frequently with his physicians, inquiring about the state of his health, sometimes being present at their consultations, and wisely heeding their opinions. Similarly, she will want to be sure her husband’s servants serve him well. If need be, she will not hesitate to take personal charge, no matter who has been appointed to this duty. Because it is not customary for royal ladies to be in such close contact with their husbands as other women are with theirs, the lady frequently will inquire for information about him from chamberlains and others of his suite. She will see him as often as possible, always expressing joy at their meeting. In his presence she will show a joyful face and say things which she knows will please him.

Of course, some of you may reply that we are telling only part of the story, insisting that women must always love their husbands and show it, not saying whether men always deserve to be so well treated. Certainly some husbands conduct themselves abominably, showing little love for their wives or none at all. We reply to this objection that our doctrine in this present treatise is not addressed to men, however much they might need to be instructed. Since we are speaking to women alone, we intend to provide them with the remedies useful in avoiding dishonor.

Thus we advise them to follow the path of virtue no matter who may choose the contrary and whether it profits them good or ill. Presuppose for the moment that the husband is marvelously perverse in his morals, rude, whatever his background, is ungracious to his wife, and is involved with another woman, or even several. Nevertheless, the wise woman’s good judgment and prudence are manifest when she knows how to bear all this, dissembling, without appearing to be aware of his perfidies or showing that she observes anything unusual. Even if every suspicion is true, there is nothing she can do about it. She may well reflect to herself: "If I speak to him harshly, I will gain nothing. If he mistreats me, I am headed into a storm. Perhaps he might send me away. Then people would mock me all the more, thus adding shame and disrepute to the whole despicable affair. Even worse might overtake me. Alas, I am obliged to live and die with him, whatever he may be."

All things considered, the wise lady will try to attract her husband to her by charm and gentleness. If she realizes it is for the best, she will speak to him about his peccadilloes in private, gently and kindly. One time she will caution him, playing upon devotion; another time she will emphasize the mercy he should have toward her; another time she will speak laughingly, as if she were teasing. She also will have good people such as his confessor speak to him. However, this noble lady will excuse him if she overhears others speaking about him, and she will not permit them to speak ill of him nor to come bearing vicious tales. She will defend him, knowing that listening to what they say will bring her only sorrow. Nothing will be gained by it. After she has made every effort to remain in peace with him, and when she has tried all of these methods for a reasonable time and still he does not wish to change his ways, then without further mentioning the subject, her only sure refuge is God.

No man is so perverse that in the end his conscience and reason will not say to him: "You have wronged and sinned against your good, honest wife." Consequently, he may reform and love her as much or even more than if he had never strayed from the path of virtue. She will have gained her ends by patient endurance. And if her lord leaves on a long, perilous journey or goes off to war, the good lady faithfully will pray to God and also have others pray for him, conscientiously making religious processions and oblations in his honor. Furthermore, she will increase the amount of money she donates in alms, conducting herself humbly and simply in her manner of life, her behavior, and her dress during his absence. On his return she will receive him joyfully and with honor.

Moreover, she will hospitably receive all his companions, gladly discovering which of his men were bravest and most valiant and how they all conducted themselves in battle. Enthusiastically, she will hear them tell of all this and will receive them with great honor, giving them fine gifts. She also will inform herself about how her lord’s servants attended to their duties and served his needs, and will reward the best and most devoted.

Observing such amenities brings great credit to the lady. Even though she does these things willingly, she should always want their forms to be seen (if not their spirit) and known in the world rather than concealed from view. The reason: She loves honor and good repute. No greater honor can be paid a prudent lady than to say of her that she is true and loyal to her lord, that certainly she appears to love him, and that consequently she is faithful to him. Everyone assumes that a wife who loves her husband never will be false to him. No better proof of loyalty is there than the love she shows for him and the external signs by which sentiment ordinarily is judged. People’s intentions cannot be judged except by their acts, which when good, give evidence of good thought and personal virtue; the opposite is likewise true. So much for the first teaching which befits all noble women whoever they may be.

25. Which teaches the manners which thewise lady who has charge of a young princess should observe to keep her mistress in good repute and in her lord’s affections.

Because a young woman nourished in delicacy and courtly ease may incline toward excessive gaiety of spirit, which may deflect from virtue a youth who really has no malice, it is necessary to

restrain her with a long arm to prevent her harm. The remedies the wise lady in charge of the young princess might attempt are these.

If she notes great love between her lord the prince and her mistress, the sort young people recently married usually experience, she will do all she can to nourish that love, encouraging the lovers to say sweet, affectionate words to each other and to delight in one another’s company. She will carry between them gracious messages and pleasing gifts, as well as beneficent, affectionate greetings to instill in them peace and love. Likewise, she will attempt to avoid and to turn aside all disturbing or unfavorable circumstances. When the lord is absent and the young princess is preparing for bed, the older woman will talk to her about him, recalling pleasing words that she heard him say about his love for his lady, and how good he is, how handsome, how gracious. She will wish God to give him a good night, and in every way commend his virtues to her lady.

Because it is customary for lords, knights, squires, foreigners, and many others often to be in the presence of the princess, whether or not her lord and parents are escorting her, the young married lady will receive and speak with a certain number of these courtiers, entertaining them suitably with feasts and dances, and conversing and providing pastimes in keeping with the occasion. It sometimes happens that certain courtiers may be struck with love for the lady, or at least pretend to be. Then the wise governess, always near her mistress, will note carefully the appearance and behavior of the guests to see if she can detect any with such ideas. If something suspicious comes to her attention, she will not mention it to anyone, keeping it entirely to herself.

When everyone has departed, the party ended, and her young mistress withdrawn to her own apartments, then, if she has the young woman’s confidence, she will speak to her in such wise as this. "We have danced magnificently. Such and such people particularly were gracious." (Or, they were not.) And she will add words such as these: "I do not know how it is but I did nor see anyone who seemed to me as pleasant nor as handsome nor as gracious as my lord, your husband. I noticed particularly, for it seemed to me that, among all other courtiers, he spoke and behaved most impressively." Or, if the lord is old and plain, she might say: "In truth, I paid no attention to any of the company except to my lord. It seemed to me that among all others he was the most impressive, lordly of princes. How good it is to hear him speak, for he talks so wisely." If the prince was not there at all, she still can recall him in some manner, praising him. Saying nothing of any suspicions she may have had, she will take care to notice if the one or ones who attracted her attention try to frequent the presence of her mistress, or if they seek out acquaintances with her relatives or others near to the princess, or if their servants ingratiate themselves with her serving-maids. However, if after the feast or assembly she notes that nobody is doing any of these things, she can forget the whole matter.

On the other hand, if she observes any of these or other similar signs, then she will not rest until she has remedied the situation. That is her duty. She will have to work very cautiously, for revealing her suspicions to anyone would be a grave mistake.

What can she best do? When she has assured herself that her suspicions are justified and someone indeed is attempting to get into her own good graces for love of her mistress, before he has time to accomplish anything bold she will be exceedingly gracious to him, so that he will have every occasion to become acquainted with her. Readily he will do it, thinking that she is the closest to the lady and thus potentially the most helpful to him. Perhaps the affair will advance to the point where he boldly will tell the governess what is in his mind, with all the offers and rewards he will propose to her, as men customarily do in such cases.

Then the wise woman, ever ready with her reply, will speak to him, without the knowledge of her lady and free from the hearing of as many other people as possible. She will address him boldly, though in a low voice, if he is the sort of person for whom this is suitable. "My lord, I have suspected from your behavior that you had in mind just what you now reveal to me. Because I wanted those words to come first from you, I have cultivated you so that I might hear them from your lips, rather than from someone else’s who might repeat them, concealing the matter so poorly it would be noticed by others. I am pleased now to have the opportunity to answer you directly. The question is decided in my heart and never will be changed any day of my life. This I swear both to God and to you. So without lengthy preaching to you or wasting any words, I say briefly, once and for all, that as long as I am a living woman and in her company, this young lady given into my care by the trust of her lord and her friends, however unworthy I may be, will do no wrong or anything else which might bring reproach or gossip to her, a lady born of such noble blood. For with God’s help I will protect her from it. She is, however, easy to protect. I know that all her love belongs to her lord. That is as it should be. She is so entirely good and well brought up that she would not become involved in or even think about any such other love.

"I know her well enough to say that if you or anyone else had spoken to her, or if she had noticed anything odd, she would be quite displeased with anyone who might believe that she could think of any such thing. So, my lord, I beg of you, insofar as I have the power to do so, that you go away. Give no further thought to the matter. I swear to you as a Christian that you will be wasting your effort. In order that you may have no further hope, I swear on my soul that even were she attracted to you— which I know she could not be—I would erect such barriers that she could not do anything about it. So believe me, truly. Do not attempt any comings or goings or other such pretenses. Upon my soul, I could not permit it and would be obliged to tell someone who would not be pleased about it and who indeed would keep her out of your hands. I have only one death to die. I prefer to have it overtake me now rather than allow harm or dishonor to my mistress. So it is better that nothing further be said. Let the affair rest where it is."

Making such a reply, the lady must not—for promise, gift, offer, or threat—change her mind, then or at any time later. Nothing should influence her otherwise. Moreover, when she takes leave of him, she must take care not to show an altered or inflamed face or hard eyes. Rather, she should have a composed face and an assured manner, as if they had spoken of other matters. Thus no one will suspect anything. She also must be careful not to say any word of this to her mistress, nor to anyone else, however intimate.

But of course she will not by any means leave it at that. She will see to it that none of the serving-women, court servants, or anyone else speaks with her mistress privately in such manner as would seem to have anything whatever to do with the affair. She will notice it soon enough by the way they laugh or speak. Even what she does not hear directly, she will notice nevertheless. She must not remain silent. Rather she will threaten the guilty person with the possibility of being dismissed if she should involve herself in her mistress’s affairs, for this is clearly none of her business. She will keep such close watch that nobody will have the opportunity to speak to her mistress alone.

If it should happen that the man disobeys her words and somehow manages to come and go in some obscure way, found through an acquaintance, which allows him to be present from time to time in spite of the governess, then as she has promised, great trouble must come of it. She will not permit this affair and will guard her mistress closely without the young woman’s notice. If, by her mistress’s manner and covert words, the governess knows that the man has spoken to her of his intentions, still she should not fear anything overmuch. She knows well that many ladies are sought after and loved without paying any attention to it. Certainly they do not necessarily fall in love.

But she will try to notice discreetly if the young lady takes any pleasure in it. If she speaks of that man more willingly than of another, or shows pleasure when he comes, or changes countenance or color, then in private, when only the two of them are present, the governess will try by subtle, sweet words to draw from her mistress her intentions with regard to the man, and learn if he has made any serious impression upon her. The song her mistress sings will determine her response. If her mistress says that truly she is aware of the proposal and he has spoken to her, causing her annoyance and regret, the lady of wisdom will perceive by the movement of the words whether the young woman is troubled and seeking her advice, or whether she is pretending not to be rebellious at all in order to make the governess believe that she would never think of such a thing, when she is indeed interested. If the young lady is speaking sincerely, and the governess assures herself that her young charge has no serious thought of the affair, then she will be relieved and pleased, urging her mistress to remain good in her resolve. Repeating to her examples of the trouble which can result from flirtation, which truly has come to some as the result of such folly, she will document the likely great dishonor and reproach to come of it, as well as the deceptions of which men are capable.

Counselling the princess to answer carefully and wisely whenever he speaks to her, the governess will recommend that she tell him briefly that he is wasting his time, insisting always that never will she change her intentions, whatever he may do; that it displeases her to hear such language; that she wants none of his advances. With that, she will stay away from him as much as possible. She must be sure that her glance, words, laughter, or expressions do not give him any encouragement which might further attract him to her or give him any hope.

The governess also will instruct her mistress how she ought to discourage him courteously by having him told when he comes that she is resting or busy doing something else; may it not displease him, she simply cannot see him at that time. She will have him told the same thing as often as he comes, until he finally perceives he is wasting his time in thinking about it any longer. In addition, the wise lady will advise her mistress that she should be careful not to speak of the matter to any other man or woman, for trouble certainly would result. It is far more sensible to keep quiet about it, for it never is to a woman’s credit or advantage to boast of such interests. She will so counsel her mistress because if the princess speaks of the affair to someone who would not offer good advice or who might even comfort or encourage her in her folly, or who would conceal it badly, then some smoke might come from it, forcing someone to suspect fire. So, wisely counselling her, the good lady will persist until she has stamped out the flame.

Thus ending the whole affair, she will have acted circumspectly, whoever may hate her or bear her ill will. However, she would pay no attention to such hatred, but simply would do her duty. The one resenting her at the beginning will praise her at the end, prizing her a thousand-fold more upon seeing her great prudence and admirable constancy. A good deed always conquers its own results. The young princess in her time may become an extremely wise and honest lady, possessing all the admirable virtues, thus having been protected from flirtatious folly.

26. Which tells of the young noble lady who might wish to stray into illicit love, and the teaching which Prudence gives to her governess.

All people are not alike; some men and women are so perverse that no matter what good advice and teaching they are given, they will persist in following their foolish or wicked inclinations. Trying to teach them otherwise is a waste of time and will result only in provoking their hatred. Therefore, I will speak here of how the instructor ought to conduct herself if she has in her charge some young princess or noble lady unwilling to profit by wise, good counsel who thus strays into illicit love.

A certain young princess or noble lady might be so deficient in knowledge or constancy that she is unable or unwilling to resist the blandishments of the man making every effort to attract her to his love by various semblances and manners. Men know so well how to do this. The lady who has charge of the princess perceives by various signs and indications that her heart is most susceptible, whatever she may give her governess to understand by her words. Or she might nor even deny it or say the contrary. The older woman will be grieved from the bottom of her heart. But in spite of her mistress’s possible resentment or that of anyone else, she will do her duty to admonish her for her own good. Not dissembling or concealing her views, she will not fail to speak to the young woman in private, now kindly, now severely, if she sees her persist. She will remind her of the great evil, peril, and misfortune which could result. She will continue to pursue the matter on the chance that realization of the truth or the very force of her words will influence her mistress and dissuade her before folly has gone too far.

But she may find this to be all to no avail. She may see her mistress talking privately to one of her other attendants, whom she may well suppose knows about her plans and intentions, observing that they are at pains to consult with outside messengers and that they make various signs to one another, avoiding her at all costs. Now she is aware that her mistress, with proud and lofty manner, no longer wishes her around. Rather she indicates she no longer is a child to be in her charge and under her direction, raking badly whatever she says to her, answering haughtily, half-menacingly, seeming quarrelsome and ill-tempered. By all these signs the lady will see she is held in contempt and disliked. The younger lady most certainly would prefer to be free to follow her own devices. Then she may hear the princess saying to one of her attendants who is in better favor: "What the devil are we going to do with that old hag? She just complains. May the fires of Hell burn her! We’ll never get rid of her." The other may reply: "So help me God, Madam, we will have to scatter peas on the steps so that she will fall and break her neck." And other such words as these.

What, then, will the wise lady do, now that she sees the case is hopeless? She knows she has done her duty, following her conscience in having shown the young woman the folly of her ways. She even had her father-in-law tell her of the evils which could result from such indiscretion. Yet her mistress is so carried away that there is no remedy for it. She has discovered a way to do as she pleases, whether anyone likes it or not.

It is not possible to protect one who does not want to protect herself. Murmurs are beginning. People are starting to notice. Some among her ladies-in-waiting are talking because of the envy they feel toward the one or ones enjoying the special confidence of their mistress, thus being preferred over others. Tales circulate which lead to no good. Therefore, though her heart may be heavy indeed, the prudent governess will consider her best choice, considering the misfortune and peril the affair would cause her if she were to remain at court longer. For, granted that she is not in agreement with her charge’s behavior and never in her life would allow the matter to come to the attention of the young lady’s husband or parents, nevertheless she would bear responsibility for it. They could well say: "Why didn’t you tell us? We would have remedied the situation. We depended on you." Of course, she would not have told such a thing for anything in the world because of the resulting dangers and troubles. Anyone of conscience and sense hesitates to report philandering to the husband or friends, or to anyone else.

Furthermore, the governess remaining at court would not be without another explosive danger: the personal harm which might come to her from her mistress herself or from the one who had captured her heart, if in any way they feared her or thought she might hinder them. Now the good lady, being well advised in all matters, must use every bit of her great knowledge. She will maintain her silence about all this, not speaking further to her mistress of good or evil, nor giving the impression by her face or bearing that she is in any way displeased in her heart. But as soon as she can, by any good way she had prepared for herself in advance when she saw her mistress’s intentions change, she will forthwith take leave of the court. With her lord’s good will, if possible, or if not she wisely will take care that he does not realize why she wants to leave. If she knows that he would prefer above all to keep her, she will fabricate a reason: illness or age or some weakness or difficulty within her own body.

If he wishes to inquire too deeply into her departure’s cause, she will say even before she has asked permission to leave that because some illness afflicts her she is unfit to be around such a lady as her mistress until she has been cured. Thus she will quickly excuse herself. Her mistress herself, seeing she will no longer talk to her, almost might be displeased by her departure. Perhaps she will recognize that she has better opportunity to do what she pleases as long as she has such a governess remaining with her, for people would be less likely to speak evil were she accompanied by such a person. Though the young mistress may try to flatter her and hold out promises to her so that she will stay, the good lady quickly will excuse herself from this, saying that, in truth, she is seriously ill, but when she is cured she may well return.

However much her heart aches at her departure, neither for this reason nor for the affection she has for her mistress will she stay for any blandishments whatsoever, if she is wise. She would sorely regret it later. If, on the contrary, when her time comes to leave, the young lady is joyous at her departure, then the ancient lady will speak to her in private, kneeling before her, thanking her humbly for the favors and honors she has accorded her. She will beg her pardon if she has not served her as befits her station in the world. If she has said or done anything to displease her, this has only come from great love and intense concern for her. Though it pains her to leave her, she is old and feeble and can no longer serve her. Perhaps old age has made her so cross and ungracious that she no longer can support, as she should, the amusements of the young. For this reason she prefers to leave, and may it be with her mistress’s good will. So she begs that she may retain complete good grace, for she can assure her mistress that never in her whole life will she have serving her a woman who loves both her and her honor more dearly and more loyally, and who will continue to do so as long as she lives. This always will be her wish. The good governess will address her mistress with such words as these upon departure.

Perhaps the princess graciously will answer her fine words, feeling relief and joy at her leaving. Perhaps, because the governess has been with her for so long, possibly even from infancy, she will appeal to her heart and purposely pain her. Perhaps she will

tell her that she has not held anything against her except that she has turned against her charge, which she never would have thought possible. Or she will offer other such excuses. To all these, the older lady will not want to argue with her mistress because she knows it is to no avail. She will reply that truly it may be the result of her own folly, because of her over-great concern, that has led her to have suspicions. She will beg her mistress to forgive everything, and will say that her mistress may be certain that however long she lives, whatever suspicions she may have had, or however it may have been in fact, she never will open her mouth to anyone. Nor has she ever done anything to her mistress except for her own good. So she will depart.

From the book of The Duke of True Lovers comes the letter Sebile de la Tour is said to have written to her duchess which will be included in the following chapter. Anyone who already has read it may skip it but it is good and profitable for all high-born ladies and any others to whom it might apply.

1. This first chapter tells how the three Virtues, Reason, Rectitude, and Justice, summarize briefly what has been said thus far.

Now, we have instructed queens, princesses, and ladies of high degree in the doctrine which is useful to them: teachings which touch the soul’s welfare and virtuous morals becoming to nobility. Our lesson in this second part of the discourse is addressed to

ladies, demoiselles, and other women, those who live at the court of a princess to serve her and to maintain her estate and likewise those who live on their own lands and in their own castles or manor houses, or in enclosed or open cities. We insist that this doctrine applies to ladies, demoiselles, and indeed all women. On certain matters affecting the soul, the virtues, and good habits, we will not repeat all we have said before. It would be needless effort and easily might bore our readers. So let what has earlier been said benefit everyone where it firs. May each one take from it what she thinks she may need for the good and profit of her soul and her behavior.

Equally for ordinary women and great mistresses, it is important always to have the love and fear of Our Lord before their eyes in all their undertakings and ever in their memories. This will remind them of the blessings they receive from Him: the soul created in His image will possess the Kingdom of Heaven forever, if only they expend a little effort and care. God gives many gifts: the ability to know Him and to know what is good and evil; bodily strength to put the good into effect; health; and many other good graces. Women should be grateful for the love they owe Him. As the first Commandment says: "You will love God above all things." Women must never forget this love, nor the fear of the Lord, nor the grievous punishment from His justice, which imperils any creature who does not follow the straight path. This love and fear will protect them from vice and lead them to virtues, vanquish pride and enthrone humility, destroy anger and stimulate patience, eliminate avarice and substitute charity, root out envy and plant instead true love for neighbors. This love and fear will discourage idleness and encourage care and diligence to do good, and will make women despise gluttony and love sobriety, banish luxury and invite chastity. So it will endow these ladies with all virtues helpful to the soul while driving out vices which could harm it. Likewise, Worldly Prudence must order the manner of life of all ladies and demoiselles in a suitable fashion, each according to her estate. May they love honor, good reputation, and excellent praise as much as the princesses. Thus we will begin.

2. Wherein it speaks of four points, two which are to be observed, the other two to be avoided.

The first point: how ladies and demoiselles at court should love their mistress.

Ladies, demoiselles, and women of the court in the service of princesses and great ladies: Once more, we three sisters—God’s daughters, Reason, Rectitude, and Justice—will reiterate that which we already have said for the good of your souls. To the previously recommended good advice we add four points: the first two are to be followed, the second two to be avoided. Not merely useful, the first two are most necessary for the good of your souls and your personal honor.

The first point is that you must love your mistress as wholeheartedly as yourself. The second is that in your manner, words, and actions you must not be too approachable or too familiar with certain men. We will explain the reason for this in a moment.

As for the other appropriate behavior which you should observe, we already mentioned that the wise princess will treat and robe you well: in simple, handsome clothes without pretention, yet sumpruous enough and fittingly well designed. We will not discuss details of your composed countenance, quiet words, behavior, games, and honest laughter, because we already spoke of those in Chapter 18 of the first part of this treatise, where whoever wishes may read it.

The lady or demoiselle at court, and indeed any servant, must love her mistress faithfully and whole-heartedly, whether the mistress be good or bad, difficult or gentle. Otherwise she damages herself. I say the same for all servants, no matter who pays or hires them. You might answer: "But truly, my master or mistress is a wicked person. Am I still obliged to love him or her?" We reply: "Yes, without fail." If you think your master or mistress wicked or that you are nor offered sufficient advantage, you should leave rather than stay and perform your duties badly, not giving the devotion and faith you should. Suppose your master does his duties badly. You still should not fail to do your own. Quit, rather than damage yourself while serving. I will explain how the lady or demoiselle should love her mistress. She must keep faith and loyalty in every way.

What manner of faith and loyalty?

First of all, she must love the good of her mistress’s soul, encouraging her to do good and not giving her occasion to do the contrary. She must strive for a reassuring tranquility. Of course, she must not bear tales, nor speak untruthfully about others, nor talk against the value of honesty and honor, nor utter surly words or answers which might trouble her mistress. Besides this, she will tend to her own business and whatever else she is supposed to do and, however she is able, prevent outrageous behavior in others. Above all, she will strive to protect her own honor in both word and deed, even more behind her lady’s back than in her presence. Thus she will promote her lady’s good name. She will take care, however, that for the good of her own soul she will not flatter her mistress in order to maintain her good graces. Servants are inclined to do so with masters and mistresses, especially lords and ladies, though God despises such hypocrisy and the Scriptures firmly warn against it.

Let us explain more clearly what flattery is, so no one will be deceived by it. If you serve well and loyally, to the best of your abilities, you carefully protect the well-being, honor, and advantage of any master or mistress. You give care and effort to serving and pleasing in all licit and honest affairs. This is your duty, not merely a ploy to gain favor or reward. You always should respond to your master’s or mistress’s fortunes: If they suffer misfortune, you should be distressed, but you must be greatly pleased by their well-being and prosperity. You should feel sad and discontented to see your mistress displeased and joyous at her good luck, not only in her presence but behind her back. You should make proper excuses for her if you hear evil spoken of her and testify to her honor and good renown. These things done with good heart are not flattery, but rather show the true love and pure loyalty a good servant appropriately demonstrates to master or mistress.

On the other hand, flattery takes many false forms. If you know that your master has some vicious tendency which undermines the good of his soul, his honor, and his morality, and nevertheless you encourage him by giving him advice to confirm and sustain his despicable ways, by flattery you support his action in word or deed. If you hear him malign someone else or maintain wicked, &lse, or dishonest opinions, and you say: "My lord (or my lady) speaks the truth," this is flattery. If, contrary to the dictates of your conscience, you tell him that something truly evil would be pleasant, good, or wise, you would not only be a flatterer but would sin mortally, thus damning yourself. Likewise, you would contribute to his damnation. Certain servants, particularly of young people, will try to curry favor with and gain profit from their masters and mistresses by encouraging their various vices and sinful habits. Such people are not loyal servants at all.

They are false and reprehensible. However, those who keep them in service themselves are so blinded, they pay no heed. A holy doctor of the Church has said it well: "The flatterer by his word drives a nail into his master’s or his mistress’s eye. The flatterer blinds with blandishments."

But to return to your duty. You might ask: "If I serve a princess and find that my mistress wants to give her heart to some man in a foolish love, am I obliged by loyalty to support her behavior?" Certain women would think it most important to protect their mistress’s honor and conceal her action. They would say: "Though I have had no responsibility in arranging this affair, my mistress wants it; she has confided in me, and if I refuse to help her, she will confide in someone else who would perhaps not conceal the matter as well as I."

The proper reply to your question is very simple. You would do wrong and there is no excuse for wrongdoing. You cannot support your mistress in sin without sinning yourself and participating in the wrong. Besides, suppose you say you are doing it to protect her honor. If you examine your conscience carefully, you will find other reasons prompting you. Perhaps you want to parlay her good will to your own advantage. Whatever motive inspires you, you are doing wrong. Like a blind woman leading another blind woman, you both will fall into a ditch.

If you want to use good judgment and preserve good conscience, here is what you should do. If your mistress trusts you enough to tell you her secrets, you should reply: "Madam, I thank you for confiding in me. Never fear for a moment that I will reveal your private thoughts. But it pains me greatly that you are considering an affair or even that you are so tempted. The only things that can result are the perdition of your soul and dangerous dishonor to your body. There is nothing I would not do to dissuade you from this idea and intention. And please pardon me, but my soul and my conscience would be seriously burdened by what you ask of me. Therefore, I will not do your bidding. Even if you may hate me and cast me out from your good service, I would prefer that you hate me for doing your good rather than that you love me for consenting to evil. Rather than involving myself in your affair, I would prefer to die. I know well that I am yours to obey you, but in this case I would be committing a mortal sin. That I am not obliged to do for any living person."

The good servant thus should reply to her mistress in such a case. But if this servant is wise and loyal, she will not go telling the tale for her own advantage, as some do to show their virtue. They say: "She asked me to do such and such, but I most certainly refused, for I would rather see her burn Silence is far superior. Thereby, on the subject of her mistress, the good, discreet lady or demoiselle should govern her tongue.

Lest we forget an important aspect of this subject of faithfulness:

If any real mishap overtakes the mistress, the good servant will protect her from all perils and defend her as if she were her own child. One lady was saved from being discovered in a compromising situation by her maid-in-waiting, who, when she realized the danger, immediately set fire to the grange so that everyone, thus distracted, would run in that direction and her mistress could escape from her awkward predicament.

Another had a mistress so desperate that she wanted to kill herself because she was pregnant without being married. The maid comforted her and dissuaded her from this unwise idea. Then she told everyone she herself was pregnant, so that when the child was born she could say it was hers. In this way, she saved her mistress from death and protected her from dishonor. In cases like these, once the deed is done and the decision made, if your deception will keep another from despair or from further sin, it is not wrong but rather great charity as long as one does not show approval of the sin. Pity the sinner. God does nor wish her death, but rather that she should repent and live a good life. Again, however, the servant should refuse to obey her mistress nor only in the case of love affairs but also in any case involving sin or vice. No one is obliged to obey another and thereby to disobey God.

3. Which discusses the second point, also good for women to remember, which is that they should avoid certain sorts of acquaintances.

Our second teaching is that a woman of the court, whatever her situation, should take care not to form acquaintances with :oo great a variety of men. Here are our reasons. Many people think that court ladies are supposed to be more friendly than ther women. This idea is misplaced for at least two principal reasons. First, more than any other women, court ladies must regard honor. (The other reason we will explain in a moment.) Why should they protect honor more than others? Their honor r dishonor is reflected upon their mistress. As they behave well or badly, the mistress will be praised or blamed. We explained in the first part of this book that there is no lady to whom so much honor is due as to a princess. And the household, after all, mirrors its mistress. So it would greatly be to her disadvantage if there were shortcomings in her attendants. I conclude, therefore, that they must protect themselves from criticism even more assiduously than others.

To return to our point. Any woman, whoever she may be, who delights in knowing a variety of men will encourage gossip. Even supposing she did not intend any mischief but merely enjoyed Laughter and entertainment, she could scarcely proceed without stimulating doubtful talk, which envious strangers who are only waiting for the opportunity and even some of her agreeable friends will join in. Women, do not be so trusting or act so blindly! If several men frequent your company, eventually one or more of them is bound to make propositions to you if he can. They will vie for your favors When several are positioned where each would like to find himself alone, the men invariably speak ill of the woman and make fun of her behind her back. Whatever face they put on before the lady, however charming they may appear, they are dissembling. By word of mouth, in taverns and elsewhere, they spread mockery and lewd comments, with everyone adding a little something of his own. In such a way, without cause but merely because of her naivete, or actual sinfulness, the woman is blamed by the very ones she seeks to please.

Let whoever does not believe this find out for herself. May it please Our Lord for ladies and maidens of the court (and indeed all women elsewhere) to realize the peril of cultivating such talkative acquaintances. So realizing, they would withdraw their friendly advances and disregard fine words of men who laugh in their presence, who promise them body and service. Women then scarcely will be tempted to take these men seriously. Perhaps you will ask why it is not better to protect one’s honor by turning a pleasant &ce to everyone, so that no one seems more important than anyone else. This, then, would preclude the comment: "She only frequents such and such a place; she approves of that one but does not even recognize the others." We reply that, in fact, one does not have to endure either of these two evils.

As we already said, if one is seen to associate with only one or two or four, suspicions would be cast upon those questionable associations. Neither this nor friendliness to everyone is desirable. But then you would say: "How are women, especially those at court, to dare to see anyone or amuse themselves in any company where there are men present without arousing evil thoughts? Are they to be so circumscribed?" We reply that the limitation is good, if displeasing, when it prevents more serious difficulty. Though the bridle may annoy and displease a horse, it sometimes prevents it from falling into a ditch.

Where suitable to time and place, by all means wear a friendly countenance. We do not intend to restrain anyone from that. For instance, in a court in France or elsewhere, the prince or princess may receive strangers, either princes, valiant knights, or squires. Of course they must be entertained and made welcome among the ladies and demoiselles, for it would be dishonorable not to do so. Our warning pertains to association with those men who, for no particular reason at all, exuberantly frequent places and boldly play and enjoy themselves in the state chambers when ladies and gentlewomen are present. Our restrictions should annoy no one who loves honor, be she young and vivacious or not, any more than it should displease one who prizes health to hear the doctor say: "You must use this particular remedy for your particular illness." So much for the first reason (for not forming too many acquaintances with men).

The second concerns any honorable woman just as much as it does those at court. The more a thing is held worthy, noble, and valuable, the more it is cherished, and the less it is taken for granted. So every honorable woman who is good and wise should be considered a fine treasure—an exceptional, rare object, worthy of veneration and reverence. Insofar as she is so and wishes so to remain, she should neither sell at high price nor generously donate this great treasure, namely acquaintance with herself. The more distant and difficult of access she is for all men—not because of pride but through the sort of dignity so becoming to a woman— the more she will be respected and prized by them. The more she employs the sort of distant dignity so becoming to a woman, the greater respect men will show her. Nothing is more enthusiastically sought after and desired than what is seen only with difficulty, particularly if it is good and beautiful. Therefore, not being too approachable suits a woman well. Excessive generosity with speech or other favors ill becomes her.

3. Which speaks of the lady baronesses and the sort of knowledge which may be useful to them.

Now it is time to speak to the ladies and demoiselles who live in castles or other sorts of manors on their own lands, in walled cities, or in smaller market towns. For them this advice should be helpful. Because their estates and powers vary, we must differeniate among them in our discussions of certain things: their status and their style of living. As for their morals and good deeds on God’s behalf, certainly they can profit from our advice in the earlier chapters to princesses and women living at court. All women can learn to cultivate virtue and avoid vice. However, the women I address now are powerful women: baronesses and great land owners who nevertheless are not called princesses. Technically, the name "princess" should not be applied to any but empresses, queens, and duchesses. Yet in Italy and elsewhere, wives of men who because of their land holdings are called princes, after the names of their territories, may be called princesses. Although countesses are not universally called princesses, because they follow duchesses in rank according to the importance of their lands, nonetheless we have included them among the princesses. First we address these baronesses of whom there are many in France, in Brittany, and elsewhere.

These baronesses surpass in honor and power many countesses, even though their titles are not as distinguished. Certain barons have enormous power because of their land, domains, and the nobility that goes with them. Thereby, their wives have considerable status. These women must be highly knowledgeable about government, and wise—in fact, far wiser than most other such women in power. The knowledge of a baroness must be so comprehensive that she can understand everything. Of her a philosopher might have said: "No one is wise who does not know some part of everything." Moreover, she must have the courage of a man. This means that she should not be brought up overmuch among women nor should she be indulged in extensive and feminine pampering. Why do I say that? If barons wish to be honored as they deserve, they spend very little time in their manors and on their own lands. Going to war, attending their prince’s court, and traveling are the three primary duties of such a lord. So the lady, his companion, must represent him at home during his absences. Although her husband is served by bailiffs, provosts, rent collectors, and land governors, she must govern them all. To do this according to her right she must conduct herself with such wisdom that she will be both feared and loved. As we have said before, the best possible fear comes from love.

When wronged, her men must be able to turn to her for refuge. She must be so skilled and flexible that in each case she can respond suitably. Therefore, she must be knowledgeable in the mores of her locality and instructed in its usages, rights, and customs. She must be a good speaker, proud when pride is needed; circumspect with the scornful, surly, or rebellious; and charitably gentle and humble toward her good, obedient subjects. With the counsellors of her lord and with the advice of elder wise men, she ought to work directly with her people. No one should ever be able to say of her that she acts merely to have her own way. Again, she should have a man’s heart. She must know the laws of arms and all things pertaining to warfare, ever prepared to command her men if there is need of it. She has to know both assault and defense tactics to insure that her fortresses are well defended, if she has any expectation of attack or believes she must initiate military action. Testing her men, she will discover their qualities of courage and determination before overly trusting them. She must know the number and strength of her men to gauge accurately her resources, so that she never will have to trust vain or feeble promises. Calculating what force she is capable of providing before her lord arrives with reinforcements, she also must know the financial resources she could call upon to sustain military action.

She should avoid oppressing her men, since this is the surest way to incur their hatred. She can best cultivate their loyalty by speaking boldly and consistently to them, according to her council, not giving one reason today and another tomorrow. Speaking words of good courage to her men-at-arms as well as to her other retainers, she will urge them to loyalty and their best efforts.

Such courses of action are suitable for the wise baroness whose absent husband has given her the responsibility and commission to take his place. This advice would be useful if an aggressor or some baron or powerful man should defy her. So, also, the baroness will find particularly expedient the advice in the chapter on widowed princesses. For if during a baron’s lifetime his wife knows everything about the management of his affairs, then if left a widow, she will not be ignorant of her rights if anyone dares to try to take advantage of her and make away with her inheritance.

1. The first chapter explains how all that has already been said can apply to some women as well as to others, and it speaks of the kind of management a woman of position should observe in her household.

At the beginning of this third part, having followed the path of the princesses, and the ladies and demoiselles both at court, and away from it we will speak to the women of importance in cities: those who are married to clerks, to the counsellors of kings or princes, or to guardians of justice and other officials, as well as to women married to the burghers, who live in cities and large towns and are considered, in certain countries, to be noble if they belong to ancient families. Thereafter, we will speak to other women, so that all may hear our doctrine.

As we have repeatedly stated, whatever we have said regarding virtues and the proper manner of life can pertain to any woman, whatever her estate. On these subjects, what is specifically suitable for some may also be suitable for others. Each can take from our teachings whatever she finds useful. Do not imitate certain foolish people, who only listen to a sermon when the preacher speaks of subjects or situations in which they have no stake. These they note well, saying his words are true and well-expressed. But when it comes to what really affects them or pertains directly to their own lives, they lower their heads and close their ears. As if their own imperfections were too trivial to mention, they ignore them and concentrate only on the foibles of others. For this reason, the wise preacher should know what sort of people are present at his sermon. If he speaks directly to some, he should touch the others in such way that they will neither mock one another nor murmur against each other.

Once again then, we Three Virtues recommend to women of high position who are inhabitants of cities and towns—presupposing that you are good and devoted to God—that you listen carefully to any of our previous teachings which might apply to you, specifically our four major points which we have mentioned elsewhere. As for what concerns Worldly Prudence, the first of these pertains to the love and faith you owe your husband and your conduct with him. The second concerns the management of your household. The third describes your clothing and ornaments. And the fourth explains how you can protect yourself from blame and from falling into disrepute.

We need not repeat the justifications for your affection and fidelity to your partner, be he old or young, good or wicked, peaceable or quarrelsome, faithless or gentlemanly. Rather, please read chapter 13 of the first part of this book, where this is discussed at length. But if you need encouragement to maintain your relarionship as we recommend, remember the rewards of conducting yourself well and wisely with your husband, whoever he may be, preserving your vows of fidelity and loyalty, keeping the peace, and performing your duty. You will acquire three benefits: great merit for your soul, great honor in this world, and great riches. Experience demonstrates that although certain rich men (among others) often mistreat and mistrust their wives, in the end when death approaches, their consciences smite them, forcing them to realize how good their wives have been and how patiently they have put up with them despite the wrongs done, and so they leave them mistresses of all their worldly possessions.

The second point of our instruction pertains to your household. You should carefully, diligently, wisely, and profitably distribute the property and goods which your husband acquires through his own efforts, his position, or his income. It is the man’s role to acquire and bring in the provisions and his wife’s role to organize and disperse them suitably, discreetly, and without parsimony. She should avoid extravagance, for that empties the purse and causes penury. To insure no wastefulness in any part of the household, she should supervise everything, rather then delegating everything to servants, and often oversee the accounts. The wise housekeeper should know all aspects of her household, even how to prepare the food, so that she will capably direct and order her servants and so that her husband will nor worry if he invites guests to dinner at home. She should herself go into the kitchen, if necessary, to make appropriate arrangements for their service.

Her house must be well kept, everything in its place, and in good order. She will supervise the raising of her children and make sure they are neither coddled nor allowed to be too boisterous while they are young. The children must be kept clean and mannerly. Nor should their belongings nor the nurses’ belongings be strewn about the house. All of her husband’s clothes and materials must be properly cared for; the husband’s neat appearance honors his wife. He should be served well and his peace and quiet protected. When he comes home for his meals, all should be ready, the tables and sideboards in order and well set. If she is prudent and wants to have her husband’s good will and the praise of the world, a wife will always preserve a cheerful countenance.

Responsibilities and various things that men are expected to accomplish sometimes cause them great displeasure. By her gracious welcome, the prudent wife should be able to help her husband forget his troubles. When a man returns home burdened by daily worry and distress, it is a great relaxation to find his wife there to receive him wisely and graciously. It is only right that it should be so for the provider who sustains the trouble and difficulty of providing should at least have a warm welcome in his own home. Therefore, his wife should nor quarrel, complain, or revile her household during meals. Anything the servants do badly should be reproved in few words without unpleasantness. Mealtime should be a happy occasion with no wrangling. If the husband is overwrought and ill-tempered, she should soothe him as best she can with soft words, rather than harassing him further with her own problems. Neither should she mention confidential matters at table in front of the servants, but rather save these for their private discussion.

This wise mistress of the household will arise early; having heard mass, said prayers, and returned home, she will give orders to the servants according to the requirements of the day. Then she will do some useful work such as spinning or sewing. When her chambermaids have finished their tasks, she will expect them to do the same, for neither she nor her serving-women should spend any hour in idleness. After buying flax at the market at a good price, she will have it spun by poor women in the town. However, she must never exploit their labor by any sort of trick or stratagem, since exploitation is damnable and would only discredit her. The women will make linen, both coarse and fine, tablecloths as well as towels. Having smoothly-woven, fine linens is a well-earned, honest pleasure for any woman who is careful and provident. She can take great pleasure in white, sweet-smelling linens stored in her coffers. These may be used for any special guests her husband invites to stay with them at the house, for which she will be highly praised.

The wise housewife will waste nothing the poor could use. Before leftovers spoil and clothes become moth-eaten, she will give them away. For the good of her soul and the virtue of charity, she will not limit her gifts to only these castoffs, but often will give wine and meat from her own table to poor women in childbed, to invalids, and to her poorer neighbors. Wisely, as her resources permit, she will realize that the virtue of this almsgiving is the only treasure she can take with her from this world. She will not be the poorer for it; however, she must use discretion in choosing the recipients of her charity.

In all this, the wife will be wisely gracious, with a pleasant and honest countenance. Receiving and welcoming her husband’s friends and associates courteously, she will speak gently to everyone. Her neighbors will appreciate her as provider of good company, small necessary trifles, and friendship in need. Never ill-tempered with her servants, nor speaking to them rudely or harassing them all day over nothing, she will reprove them straightforwardly when they misbehave and threaten to expel them if they do not improve, but do all this without shouting or commotion the neighbors can hear. Some foolish creatures believe that to be considered good housekeepers they must be disagreeable and make trouble for their husbands and households over nothing. So they make great disturbances over trivialities, criticizing everything and chattering unceasingly. That sort of household violates our doctrine. Our disciples are to be wise in all actions, never intemperate, never malicious, never evil-intentioned, nor babbling, which is most unbecoming to a woman.

2. How women of property and city women should be suitably dressed, and how they should protect themselves against those who would deceive them.

The third point necessary for you women of property in the good towns, as well as women of the bourgeoisie, concerns your clothing and apparel. Do nor go to extremes either in expense or in style. Five principal reasons should influence you to avoid extravagance First of all, it is sinful and displeasing to God to pay too much attention to the body. Secondly, one really never has more admired for pompous, vulgar behavior, but rather less. Thirdly, it wastes money. It impoverishes and empties the purse. Fourth, one sets a bad example for others, encouraging them to the same or worse. The mature woman imitating a young girl’s airs and the bourgeois woman who feels she must inflate her own status encourage frivolity and ostentation to grow and multiply daily. Each woman is tempted to outdo the other. Therefore, many people are harmed and impoverished, in France and elsewhere. Fifth and finally, unseemly, exaggerated costume prompts others to sin by envious murmuring or unbridled covetousness, both of which greatly displease God.

So, dear friends, since extravagance is worthless and potentially so harmful, do not take great pleasure in such frivolities. Wear such costumes as are suitable for yourself and your husband. She who belongs to the bourgeoisie and wears garments appropriate for a gentlewoman, and the demoiselle who sports what a lady should wear, and so on up the steps on society’s ladder, clearly overstep the bounds of propriety. Custom well regulated in any country restrains ostentation.

Now to the fourth point, namely, protecting yourself from blame and ill-repute because of appearance, cost, or style of your clothing. Even though a woman may be inspired only by good will and has neither a wicked act nor thought in her body, the world will never believe it if she is indiscreet about her clothes. False opinions will be formed no matter how good she is in reality. Thus any woman wishing to preserve her good name should cultivate unpretentiousness in her dress and accoutrements. She should avoid clothes that are too tight, too low-cut, or have other details in bad taste. She should especially avoid styles that are too flashy, too costly, or too suggestive.

Besides all this, a woman must have poise and restraint in her bearing and countenance. Nothing is more unbecoming than a loud and undisciplined manner. Similarly, nothing is more pleasant in a woman than a handsome face and graceful speech. Even though young, a woman should be temperate, nor disorderly, in laughter and games. Knowing how to take everything in her stride, she must act suitably, never speaking coyly but rather elegantly, gently, and without affectation. Her look should be reticent, attentive, and as joyful as the occasion warrants.

A women’s exaggerated clothes and ill-considered manners can lead to evil gossip and even more dangerous results. Evil men may think she is trying to attract their attention, so they will feel free to make improper advances. She may never have contemplated such an idea but only acted on her own natural inclination for her own pleasure. Yet men of various sorts will pursue such women and devise ways to attract their love.

What should a wise young woman do to avoid the blame, harm, and dishonor which are the only possible results of such love affairs? Never listen to such men-about-town. Do not behave like certain idlers who are only too pleased to be pursued with grandiose gestures. They think it fine to say, "I am loved by everyone—a sure sign I am attractive and have considerable merit. I won’t love any one but will please them all. I will keep the world guessing." That is no way to protect your honor. Indeed, no woman can maintain this state of affairs for long. Her reputation will plummet, whoever she is. Therefore, the moment the wise woman notices any sign that a man has designs upon her, she should give him every opportunity to withdraw. Persistently discouraging him by her words and her manner, she must persevere until he realizes he does not attract her. Yet, if he challenges her, she should reply in this fashion:

"Sire, if you have any romantic thoughts about me, kindly stop thinking them. I swear to you I have no interest in such a love affair, nor ever will I any day of my life. No man nor anything in creation will be capable of changing my mind. Take it for certain that I will persevere in this idea throughout my life. You waste your time if you give it another thought. Control yourself. Don’t look at me that way. Don’t say such things to me. On my word, I will be greatly displeased and try never to go near you. I tell you this now, once and for all, nor will I ever have anything more to say on this subject. Now, good-bye!"

Thus briefly, without lingering at length, the good, wise young woman who cherishes her honor will reply to every man who makes propositions to her. Her looks must be in keeping with her words. Her glances and bodily signs must not give any encouragement to a man who for any moment might think he has a chance of success.

If he sends her any gift whatsoever she must refuse it definirively. She who accepts a gift sells herself. If anyone gives her a message from a man, she must say pointedly and with a severe expression that she does not want to hear another word about him. If any household maid or servant dares to speak of this matter to her, she must dismiss that person from her service. Such an imprudent servant is not dependable. Therefore, she must find some pretext for eliminating this servant without disrupting her household and, above all, without her husband hearing of it. For, despite her good intentions, such information might provoke him to some rash fury of action which, no matter how she might try to calm him, would be dangerous and unnecessary. She must protect herself prudently, keep her peace, and be persistent: In the long run, there is no man who will not give up.

For the same reasons, she should not discuss this with a neighbor or anyone else. Gossip always is repeated. A spiteful man who cannot bear a woman’s rejection will devise ways to avenge himself if he hears that his exploits are being discussed among the women. To soothe himself, he will boast of the affair among the men, there being no point in his not speaking of it. This reflects poorly upon the woman.

Moreover, women wishing to protect themselves from blame should avoid bad or dishonest company. Clerics, lords, and other people often arrange gatherings in such places as gardens, using the pretext of entertaining a group of people to conceal some machination or personal love affair. If a woman knows perfectly well that such a gathering is not what it appears to be, she must not provide the cover for someone else’s intention and thus contribute to evil and sin. She should not attend if she knows or even has any suspicion of this. Before going anywhere, the wise woman will consider with whom, by what means, and who will be where she is going.

Some women travel on pilgrimages away from town in order to frolic and kick up their heels in jolly company. But this is only sin and folly. It is a sin to use God as excuse and shelter for frivolity. Such pilgrimages are entirely without merit.

Nor should a young woman go trotting about town, as is the custom—on Monday to St. Avoye, on Tuesday, to who knows where; on Friday to St. Catherine, and elsewhere on the other days. Even if some do it, there is no need for it. Of course, we do not wish to prevent anyone from doing good works. But considering a woman’s youth and exuberance, plus men’s desire to seduce women, as well as the fact that words so often are spoken so readily and so rashly, the surest thing for the soul’s profit and the body’s honor is to avoid the habit of trotting here and there. God is everywhere to hear the prayers of his devout believers, wherever they happen to be, and He wishes all things done discreetly and not necessarily at will. Bathing establishments, public baths, and other such gatherings which women too often frequent are needless convivialities and superfluous expenditures which lead to no good. For all these and similar reasons, a wise woman who loves honor and wishes to avoid censure should exercise great caution.

5. Which concerns unmarried girls.

Certainly it is not right to forget one important group: women or young girls who are still virgins. Let us speak of them in two different categories: those intending to maintain their virginity all their lives, for love of God; and those awaiting the time of their marriage, arranged according to their parents’ wishes. The differences in their intentions should be paralleled by differences in their apparel, their speech, and their style of life even in this world.

A devout, solitary life is most suitable for those disposed tc piety and solitude. Although such a life benefits everyone, more pious behavior suits some of them more than other women. If they are obliged to work to earn their livelihood, or if they enter service in a household, after their daily chores are done, they must observe their obligations in God’s service: devout prayers, fasting and discreet abstinence. These deprivations must not be so severe as to make them impossible to endure or to continue,

nor troubling to their minds, for nothing excessively rigorous should be attempted beyond reason. The good that they do in keeping themselves free from sin in both thought and word will be equalled by their actions. After all, there would be little merit in being poor, chaste, devoted, and abstinent and simultaneously a great sinner. Everyone striving to the good should make a clean offering to God. To present the king with a fine, savory food mixed with disgusting filth would give Him no pleasure. Rightfully, He would refuse it. Moreover, the maidens’ language should be good, simple, and devout, neither excessive nor prolix. Their clothes should be modest without coquetry, their demanor humbly quiet, with lowered eyes and diffident speech. Their joy should be in hearing God’s word and frequenting His church. Those chosing this life were born in a good hour, for they have selected the better part.

Maidens awaiting marriage can be altogether different. Nonetheless, in bearing, behavior, and speech they should be temperate and honest. Especially in church they must be decorously quiet, looking at their books with eyes lowered; in the street or in public they should seem modest and calm; in the house, never idle but always busy with some domestic task; in their clothing, wearing garments and dresses well made, graceful, and in good taste, as well as clean and neat; in their grooming, their hair must be well combed, not hanging over their cheeks or in any way ill-kempt; in their manner of speaking, agreeable and courteous to everyone, humble, and not too talkative.

At social gatherings, dances, and assemblies, they especially should be on their best behavior, for more people will have their eyes on them than upon other women. Dancing modestly and singing in a low voice, their glances should not vaguely wander here and there. They should not be overly bold among the men, but rather ought to stay close to their mothers and the other women. Young girls also should avoid becoming embroiled in debates or arguments with servants or maids, or anyone else, for insolence and combativeness are not only unattractive but possibly

damaging to their futures, because servants tend to spread evil or false reports with little provocation. Young women should never be bold, skittish, or ribald, especially in the presence of any men whatsoever, whether clerks in the household, setvingmen, or retainers attached to the family, and under no circumstances should they allow any man to touch them, fondle them, or be too playful. This would damage both decorum and their good name.

A maiden also ought to be devout, especially toward Our Lady, St. Catherine, and all the virgin saints. She should willingly read their lives and fast on holy days. Food and drink require special sobriety. She should content herself to eat small quantities of meat with dilute wines, for gluttony in food and drink is very unattractive in young girls. She must also be careful never to be seen affected by too much wine, for she who has such a fault would be expected to have no other good. Therefore, all maidens should water their wine and make it a habit to drink little.

Beyond the good manners normally expected of young women, they should be humble and obedient to their fathers and mothers, diligently serving them and depending upon their judgment exclusively for their prospective marriage arrangements, never considering marriage without their consent. Such well-instructed young women are very attractive to men who wish to marry.