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"You are Beautiful"

Posted by Tara Lowary on December 20, 2003 at 11:11:50:

Arab Womwen's Evolution into Powerful, Self-Confident Individuals

Standing up for oneself is always a challenge, no matter who you are. In some Arab societies certain traditions and customs seem built to keep women on a lower level than men. The truth, as demonstrated by many books written by Arab women, is that every society has outdated customs, or rules, and those rules are what tend to keep oppressed people in check. If it’s not a gender issue then it is a race issue. If it’s not a race issue then it becomes political or intellectual. Sadly, there have always been rules that oppress one group or another, but time are changing and with them people change. The women in two Arab novels, written by Arab women, express their personal experiences in Arab society. Though the novels are fiction they are based on the real life experiences of the authors and can be taken as facts of what events transpired during the lives of the authors. The changes demonstrated by the main characters in Fatima Mernissi’s Dreams of Trespass and Ahdaf Soueif’s In the Eye of the Sun exhibit the Arab woman’s ability to become an independent and psychologically powerful member of society. Mernissi’s Fatima grows up in a harem which would seem to imply a lack of independence, however the women surrounding her act as liberal educators, teaching her never to settle for less than she deserves. Soueif’s Asya on the other hand develops into a woman while being raised in an upper class household, with liberal ideas on only certain subjects. The two women evolve, throughout the course of each novel, into stronger and more independent entities, both physically and psychologically.
Fatima Mernissi preserves the feeling of an autobiography by keeping the main character named after herself. For the sake of clarity when referring to the author I will use only her last name. Mernissi’s novel begins with Fatima as a child. Throughout the novel she grows to the age of nine, but that is where the story ends. The first few years of Fatima’s life seem to have been the most crucial in determining what kind of person she was destined to become. Fatima’s experiences in her childhood are dramatic and influence her enough that her life changes drastically. Early in the novel Mernissi states, “when you hurt a woman you are violating Allah’s sacred frontier” (3). This statement helps to set the tone for the novel. Mernissi stresses the importance of women by summoning Allah’s support for her assertion. From this we know that Mernissi will be honest and passionate about her life. Mernissi also states that “looking for the frontier has become my life’s occupation. Anxiety eats at me whenever I cannot situate the geometric line organizing my powerlessness” (3). Again this looks to the future and accentuates the changes Mernissi’s life takes. As proof that Mernissi’s life changes for the better we look to her future to find out what happens after the age of nine. Mernissi becomes a sociologist at a university in Morocco and a prominent author.
Fatima’s earliest memories begin with restriction and rules. She designed a game for herself because she would wake up before her mother and was not allowed to play with her older cousins because, as her mother put it; “you don’t know how to defend yourself yet. . . even playing is a kind of war” (3-4). Fatima learned from the age of four that her first objective was to be able to defend herself. With this thought as a foundation for growth Fatima was taught to become strong even as a child. The game Fatima designed for herself was also an exercise in meditation that inadvertently developed her mental stamina as well as her intelligence. Her daily practice of silent observation allowed her mind to focus on small details for long periods of time. She was also able to contemplate topics and raise questions that another child her age would never ask.
Even from birth Fatima was raised to be equal to men. She and her friend, Samir, were born on the same day and, because her mother insisted, both received identical celebration rituals, which is highly irregular. Fatima’s mother was very insistent that Fatima develop into a powerful woman. So much that when Fatima would get teased and run to her mother for help, her mother would tell her, “you have to learn to scream and protest, just the walk you learned to walk and talk. Crying when you are insulted is like asking for more” (9). Fatima’s mother was instrumental in setting Fatima on a path of strength. She didn’t coddle Fatima or try to comfort her. Instead, she just told her how to fix the problem. Fatima may have been too young to benefit her mother’s advice, but it stayed with her as a reminder while she was growing up.
Fatima’s time spent with her grandmother, Yasmina, at a rural harem influenced her outlook on frontiers and inspired many questions in her young mind. Yasmina’s harem had no solid walls to keep the women confined. Yasmina trying to explain about harems told Fatima, “sometimes . . . to be stuck in a harem simply mean[s] that a woman ha[s] lost her freedom of movement” (34). She was describing Fatima’s harem more than her own, because her husband allowed her to do anything she wanted as long as it was socially acceptable. They rode horses, swam and fished without getting permission. On the other hand, in Fatima’s harem they were confined to a smaller space and only permitted to go out if given permission, and even then the women had to be accompanied by other women of the harem and a male cousin. The chance to see a much more liberal harem than her own gave Fatima a chance to see what other choices she might have available.
Later in the novel, when Fatima has grown a little older her mother gives her some advice that directly applies to jumping from terrace to terrace, but indirectly applies to life; “When you are about to embark on an adventure. . . you have to think about the landing. Not about the takeoff. So whenever you feel like flying, think about how and where you’ll end up” (60). Fatima’s mother refers to cause and effect. When a person does something they must consider the consequences of their actions. Whether she knew it then or remembered it later, Fatima learned this lesson and grew stronger because she knew how great an impact her actions could have on the world. She learned to harness the power she possessed.
One of the most inspiring passages that probably greatly influenced the path Fatima chose was said to her by Yasmina after Fatima asked her if she thought she would be a happy woman:
Of course you will be happy! . . . you will be a modern, educated lady.
You will realize the nationalists’ dream. You will learn foreign
languages, have a passport, devour books, and speak like a religious
authority. At the very least you will be better off than your mother.
Remember that even I as illitereate and bound by traditions I am,
have managed to squeeze some happiness out of this damned life.
That is why I don’t want you to focus on the frontiers and barriers all
the time. I want you to concentrate on fun and laughter and happiness. (64)
Yasmina gives Fatima everything she needs to become an empowered woman in this passage. She gives her hope and confidence. She tells her that her life is already better than her mother’s is and it can only get better. She basically gives Fatima the mental tools to make a good life for herself.
Fatima’s life holds great promise because she is raised in an environment that supports her thirst for knowledge and her need to step into the modern world. Fatima’s Aunt Habiba told her, “Anything you can do well can change your life” (127). Fatima’s talent is thinking independently. She never stops questioning the situations of the world and because of that she never settles for less than what she deserves.
Adhaf Soueif’s character, Asya, wages a battle for power and independence, but her battle is much different from Fatima’s battle. Asya battles internally trying to decide what is right and what is wrong. Her traditional self constantly tells her what society and her family expects her to do, but her emotional side—the side governed by her heart—is the side that tells her to do what feels right. The result of all of Asya’s internal struggles is a stronger woman who reveals herself in her confession to Saif, her husband, about her adultery.
Since Asya grows up in an upper-class household her understanding of what is socially acceptable is somewhat more flexible than a lower-class family. Her family is not very rich, but they are well off enough that they can afford to send her to a university to get her PhD. Saif insists that they have enough money to get Asya through her thesis. Since Asya’s greatest changes and revelations occur while she is having adulterous experiences with Gerald Stone, the Englishman, we will focus on those chapters. Throughout the preceding chapters Asya tries time and again to engage Saif in a fight of any kind, but each time Saif merely ignores her and they never truly discuss any of their problems. Only after spending a great deal of time with Gerald does Asya realize that she has been missing a piece of her life. The happiness that Fatima found with such ease didn’t reach Asya in the same way. Throughout her marriage Asya found herself getting more and more unhappy. Each time a new man found a way into her life she would experience a spark of the happiness that she desired.
All of Asya’s problems culminate in the appearance in her life of Gerald Stone. He enters her world with new perspectives like meditation and astrology. He even has the habit of wondering how she can truly be an Aries. When she asks him how he wishes her to be his response is “‘Give me my cue, Gerald, tell me how you want me to be, Gerald.’ Some Aries: you’re supposed to be an Aries, man: a leader” (555). Gerald’s words have some impact, however small, on her. Gerald’s goal is to get Asya to become more independent, maybe so she will leave her husband and join him, but his motives are irrelevant. Gerald can see that Asya needs to be stronger. He acts as a conduit for Asya to shunt her emotions and express herself. Where Saif would tell her to stop silly things and quoting books, Gerald encourages her to talk about things and ask questions. He encourages her to speak out, freely, about whatever she feels like talking about.
At one point Gerald has Asya sit in front of a mirror while he plays with her hair and takes her shirt off. He then sees that she will not look at herself. “You are beautiful” (563) he tells her softly and when she still refuses to look he commands her to and she sees herself. Asya may not realize it at the time, but she is like a butterfly emerging from her chrysalis. In fact, Gerald soon after calls her his “eastern butterfly” (564), but for Asya it is a turning point that she perhaps cannot see. She has finally accepted the fact that she is a woman who deserves to be treated like one, and not just ignored.
When Asya finds out about Mario dying in a car crash she doesn’t cry. Gerald berates her asking “what are you made of that you can’t even fucking grieve for a friend?” (609). Asya actually is showing tremendous strength in restraining her true emotions. She is grieving fiercely for Mario, but she is afraid Gerald will misunderstand her tears if she mourns. She is too afraid to let him see just how deeply hurt she is by Mario’s death. At this juncture Asya is starting to learn when to express herself openly and when to hide certain emotions. As she gets more and more mature she gets better at deciding what emotions she should and shouldn’t express.
Asya’s next step of progression is her fight with Gerald about telling Saif about their relationship. Asya actually seems fearsome when Gerald threatens to call Saif and tell him all about them. She stands strong against Gerald and tells him “you do that and I will be out of here within the hour. You’ll never find me. And I’ll never, ever have anything to do with you again” (561). This is a momentous event in Asya’s life. She may only be trying to save herself some emotional turmoil, but she stands up to Gerald and gives him an ultimatum. It takes a lot of courage for her to show such opposition to someone she finds so intimidating.
Asya’s confrontation with Saif about her adultery is one of the most climactic moments of Asya’s development. She demonstrates phenomenal courage when dealing with Saif’s rage. However, she must have known she would survive from the moment she saw Saif standing outside that day because, “he is shorter than she remembers him” (619). This casual observation on Asya’s part proves that she has changed. Saif could not have shrunk, instead Asya’s mental image of him has become distorted and she finally sees him as a less frightening or powerful figure in her life. From that moment Asya had the upper hand in the conversation that was about to take place, because she was no longer afraid of Saif or his reaction to her news.
Shortly after Saif and Asya’s fight takes place the narrative of the story switches to Saif’s point of view. When the duo enters a restaurant Saif makes a comment about Asya that again embodies the change she has experienced. Saif tells her “you used to hesitate in doorways. Now you walk into a restaurant and stand there as if God himself should come and show you to your table” (652). Saif may have been making an idle comment about Asya, but her confidence and posture are indicators of her newly earned powerful and courageous personality traits. Sadly, Asya’s power is destined to be crushed temporarily by Saif’s virtual rape.
When Saif tries to interrogate Asya about detailed aspects of her relations with Gerald he finally loses his temper so violently that he begins hitting Asya. However, the argument culminates in something terrible when Saif knocks Asya senseless and proceeds to have sex with her. His actions are akin to rape but Asya never takes any action to press charges, she becomes a common battered wife. This is a huge backward step for Asya and she ceases her progressing toward power and independence until Saif finally leaves permanently.
Asya’s changes toward power and independence are mostly achieved through passivity. She doesn’t actively try to become a stronger person, it just happened to her as she is left alone to fend for herself. Yet, Asya does achieve strength.
Asya and Fatima both evolved due to the circumstances of their lives. But, they both changed for the better, into stronger, empowered women who were able to make decisions for themselves and lead the kind of life they choose to live. Fatima used the events from her youth to understand the world better and realized that she had power. She was not raised to believe she was one of the “powerless” and as such she had none of the psychological constraints that many women (not just Arab) are raised with. Thanks to her mother and Lalla Mani’s opposing perspectives on harem life, Fatima was not raised in a one-sided household. She was presented with the facts, like a jury and based on the facts she made her choices about the kind of life she wished to live. Fatima’s search actually allowed her to break through the frontiers she so desperately sought from her childhood. Asya became stronger from the battles she waged with herself. Her emotional battles based on what she was raised to believe and what her heart was telling her caused her to become independent. No one but she could make the decisions she was forced to make, because only she had all the information. Asya knew what was expected of her, but she also knew how she felt and her intuition let her choose the path of independence. Had she had a quiet life, Asya would probably never have finished her thesis or become the strong woman she eventually became.

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: Arab Womwen's Evolution into Powerful, Self-Confident Individuals : Standing up for oneself is always a challenge, no matter who you are. In some Arab societies certain traditions and customs seem built to keep women on a lower level than men. The truth, as demonstrated by many books written by Arab women, is that every society has outdated customs, or rules, and those rules are what tend to keep oppressed people in check. If it’s not a gender issue then it is a race issue. If it’s not a race issue then it becomes political or intellectual. Sadly, there have always been rules that oppress one group or another, but time are changing and with them people change. The women in two Arab novels, written by Arab women, express their personal experiences in Arab society. Though the novels are fiction they are based on the real life experiences of the authors and can be taken as facts of what events transpired during the lives of the authors. The changes demonstrated by the main characters in Fatima Mernissi’s Dreams of Trespass and Ahdaf Soueif’s In the Eye of the Sun exhibit the Arab woman’s ability to become an independent and psychologically powerful member of society. Mernissi’s Fatima grows up in a harem which would seem to imply a lack of independence, however the women surrounding her act as liberal educators, teaching her never to settle for less than she deserves. Soueif’s Asya on the other hand develops into a woman while being raised in an upper class household, with liberal ideas on only certain subjects. The two women evolve, throughout the course of each novel, into stronger and more independent entities, both physically and psychologically. : Fatima Mernissi preserves the feeling of an autobiography by keeping the main character named after herself. For the sake of clarity when referring to the author I will use only her last name. Mernissi’s novel begins with Fatima as a child. Throughout the novel she grows to the age of nine, but that is where the story ends. The first few years of Fatima’s life seem to have been the most crucial in determining what kind of person she was destined to become. Fatima’s experiences in her childhood are dramatic and influence her enough that her life changes drastically. Early in the novel Mernissi states, “when you hurt a woman you are violating Allah’s sacred frontier” (3). This statement helps to set the tone for the novel. Mernissi stresses the importance of women by summoning Allah’s support for her assertion. From this we know that Mernissi will be honest and passionate about her life. Mernissi also states that “looking for the frontier has become my life’s occupation. Anxiety eats at me whenever I cannot situate the geometric line organizing my powerlessness” (3). Again this looks to the future and accentuates the changes Mernissi’s life takes. As proof that Mernissi’s life changes for the better we look to her future to find out what happens after the age of nine. Mernissi becomes a sociologist at a university in Morocco and a prominent author. : Fatima’s earliest memories begin with restriction and rules. She designed a game for herself because she would wake up before her mother and was not allowed to play with her older cousins because, as her mother put it; “you don’t know how to defend yourself yet. . . even playing is a kind of war” (3-4). Fatima learned from the age of four that her first objective was to be able to defend herself. With this thought as a foundation for growth Fatima was taught to become strong even as a child. The game Fatima designed for herself was also an exercise in meditation that inadvertently developed her mental stamina as well as her intelligence. Her daily practice of silent observation allowed her mind to focus on small details for long periods of time. She was also able to contemplate topics and raise questions that another child her age would never ask. : Even from birth Fatima was raised to be equal to men. She and her friend, Samir, were born on the same day and, because her mother insisted, both received identical celebration rituals, which is highly irregular. Fatima’s mother was very insistent that Fatima develop into a powerful woman. So much that when Fatima would get teased and run to her mother for help, her mother would tell her, “you have to learn to scream and protest, just the walk you learned to walk and talk. Crying when you are insulted is like asking for more” (9). Fatima’s mother was instrumental in setting Fatima on a path of strength. She didn’t coddle Fatima or try to comfort her. Instead, she just told her how to fix the problem. Fatima may have been too young to benefit her mother’s advice, but it stayed with her as a reminder while she was growing up. : Fatima’s time spent with her grandmother, Yasmina, at a rural harem influenced her outlook on frontiers and inspired many questions in her young mind. Yasmina’s harem had no solid walls to keep the women confined. Yasmina trying to explain about harems told Fatima, “sometimes . . . to be stuck in a harem simply mean[s] that a woman ha[s] lost her freedom of movement” (34). She was describing Fatima’s harem more than her own, because her husband allowed her to do anything she wanted as long as it was socially acceptable. They rode horses, swam and fished without getting permission. On the other hand, in Fatima’s harem they were confined to a smaller space and only permitted to go out if given permission, and even then the women had to be accompanied by other women of the harem and a male cousin. The chance to see a much more liberal harem than her own gave Fatima a chance to see what other choices she might have available. : Later in the novel, when Fatima has grown a little older her mother gives her some advice that directly applies to jumping from terrace to terrace, but indirectly applies to life; “When you are about to embark on an adventure. . . you have to think about the landing. Not about the takeoff. So whenever you feel like flying, think about how and where you’ll end up” (60). Fatima’s mother refers to cause and effect. When a person does something they must consider the consequences of their actions. Whether she knew it then or remembered it later, Fatima learned this lesson and grew stronger because she knew how great an impact her actions could have on the world. She learned to harness the power she possessed. : One of the most inspiring passages that probably greatly influenced the path Fatima chose was said to her by Yasmina after Fatima asked her if she thought she would be a happy woman: : Of course you will be happy! . . . you will be a modern, educated lady. : You will realize the nationalists’ dream. You will learn foreign : languages, have a passport, devour books, and speak like a religious : authority. At the very least you will be better off than your mother. : Remember that even I as illitereate and bound by traditions I am, : have managed to squeeze some happiness out of this damned life. : That is why I don’t want you to focus on the frontiers and barriers all : the time. I want you to concentrate on fun and laughter and happiness. (64) : Yasmina gives Fatima everything she needs to become an empowered woman in this passage. She gives her hope and confidence. She tells her that her life is already better than her mother’s is and it can only get better. She basically gives Fatima the mental tools to make a good life for herself. : Fatima’s life holds great promise because she is raised in an environment that supports her thirst for knowledge and her need to step into the modern world. Fatima’s Aunt Habiba told her, “Anything you can do well can change your life” (127). Fatima’s talent is thinking independently. She never stops questioning the situations of the world and because of that she never settles for less than what she deserves. : Adhaf Soueif’s character, Asya, wages a battle for power and independence, but her battle is much different from Fatima’s battle. Asya battles internally trying to decide what is right and what is wrong. Her traditional self constantly tells her what society and her family expects her to do, but her emotional side—the side governed by her heart—is the side that tells her to do what feels right. The result of all of Asya’s internal struggles is a stronger woman who reveals herself in her confession to Saif, her husband, about her adultery. : Since Asya grows up in an upper-class household her understanding of what is socially acceptable is somewhat more flexible than a lower-class family. Her family is not very rich, but they are well off enough that they can afford to send her to a university to get her PhD. Saif insists that they have enough money to get Asya through her thesis. Since Asya’s greatest changes and revelations occur while she is having adulterous experiences with Gerald Stone, the Englishman, we will focus on those chapters. Throughout the preceding chapters Asya tries time and again to engage Saif in a fight of any kind, but each time Saif merely ignores her and they never truly discuss any of their problems. Only after spending a great deal of time with Gerald does Asya realize that she has been missing a piece of her life. The happiness that Fatima found with such ease didn’t reach Asya in the same way. Throughout her marriage Asya found herself getting more and more unhappy. Each time a new man found a way into her life she would experience a spark of the happiness that she desired. : All of Asya’s problems culminate in the appearance in her life of Gerald Stone. He enters her world with new perspectives like meditation and astrology. He even has the habit of wondering how she can truly be an Aries. When she asks him how he wishes her to be his response is “‘Give me my cue, Gerald, tell me how you want me to be, Gerald.’ Some Aries: you’re supposed to be an Aries, man: a leader” (555). Gerald’s words have some impact, however small, on her. Gerald’s goal is to get Asya to become more independent, maybe so she will leave her husband and join him, but his motives are irrelevant. Gerald can see that Asya needs to be stronger. He acts as a conduit for Asya to shunt her emotions and express herself. Where Saif would tell her to stop silly things and quoting books, Gerald encourages her to talk about things and ask questions. He encourages her to speak out, freely, about whatever she feels like talking about. : At one point Gerald has Asya sit in front of a mirror while he plays with her hair and takes her shirt off. He then sees that she will not look at herself. “You are beautiful” (563) he tells her softly and when she still refuses to look he commands her to and she sees herself. Asya may not realize it at the time, but she is like a butterfly emerging from her chrysalis. In fact, Gerald soon after calls her his “eastern butterfly” (564), but for Asya it is a turning point that she perhaps cannot see. She has finally accepted the fact that she is a woman who deserves to be treated like one, and not just ignored. : When Asya finds out about Mario dying in a car crash she doesn’t cry. Gerald berates her asking “what are you made of that you can’t even fucking grieve for a friend?” (609). Asya actually is showing tremendous strength in restraining her true emotions. She is grieving fiercely for Mario, but she is afraid Gerald will misunderstand her tears if she mourns. She is too afraid to let him see just how deeply hurt she is by Mario’s death. At this juncture Asya is starting to learn when to express herself openly and when to hide certain emotions. As she gets more and more mature she gets better at deciding what emotions she should and shouldn’t express. : Asya’s next step of progression is her fight with Gerald about telling Saif about their relationship. Asya actually seems fearsome when Gerald threatens to call Saif and tell him all about them. She stands strong against Gerald and tells him “you do that and I will be out of here within the hour. You’ll never find me. And I’ll never, ever have anything to do with you again” (561). This is a momentous event in Asya’s life. She may only be trying to save herself some emotional turmoil, but she stands up to Gerald and gives him an ultimatum. It takes a lot of courage for her to show such opposition to someone she finds so intimidating. : Asya’s confrontation with Saif about her adultery is one of the most climactic moments of Asya’s development. She demonstrates phenomenal courage when dealing with Saif’s rage. However, she must have known she would survive from the moment she saw Saif standing outside that day because, “he is shorter than she remembers him” (619). This casual observation on Asya’s part proves that she has changed. Saif could not have shrunk, instead Asya’s mental image of him has become distorted and she finally sees him as a less frightening or powerful figure in her life. From that moment Asya had the upper hand in the conversation that was about to take place, because she was no longer afraid of Saif or his reaction to her news. : Shortly after Saif and Asya’s fight takes place the narrative of the story switches to Saif’s point of view. When the duo enters a restaurant Saif makes a comment about Asya that again embodies the change she has experienced. Saif tells her “you used to hesitate in doorways. Now you walk into a restaurant and stand there as if God himself should come and show you to your table” (652). Saif may have been making an idle comment about Asya, but her confidence and posture are indicators of her newly earned powerful and courageous personality traits. Sadly, Asya’s power is destined to be crushed temporarily by Saif’s virtual rape. : When Saif tries to interrogate Asya about detailed aspects of her relations with Gerald he finally loses his temper so violently that he begins hitting Asya. However, the argument culminates in something terrible when Saif knocks Asya senseless and proceeds to have sex with her. His actions are akin to rape but Asya never takes any action to press charges, she becomes a common battered wife. This is a huge backward step for Asya and she ceases her progressing toward power and independence until Saif finally leaves permanently. : Asya’s changes toward power and independence are mostly achieved through passivity. She doesn’t actively try to become a stronger person, it just happened to her as she is left alone to fend for herself. Yet, Asya does achieve strength. : Asya and Fatima both evolved due to the circumstances of their lives. But, they both changed for the better, into stronger, empowered women who were able to make decisions for themselves and lead the kind of life they choose to live. Fatima used the events from her youth to understand the world better and realized that she had power. She was not raised to believe she was one of the “powerless” and as such she had none of the psychological constraints that many women (not just Arab) are raised with. Thanks to her mother and Lalla Mani’s opposing perspectives on harem life, Fatima was not raised in a one-sided household. She was presented with the facts, like a jury and based on the facts she made her choices about the kind of life she wished to live. Fatima’s search actually allowed her to break through the frontiers she so desperately sought from her childhood. Asya became stronger from the battles she waged with herself. Her emotional battles based on what she was raised to believe and what her heart was telling her caused her to become independent. No one but she could make the decisions she was forced to make, because only she had all the information. Asya knew what was expected of her, but she also knew how she felt and her intuition let her choose the path of independence. Had she had a quiet life, Asya would probably never have finished her thesis or become the strong woman she eventually became.

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