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AWN-Paper #1

Posted by Arab Women Novelists on November 4, 2002 at 12:07:47:

Molly Beth Corcoran
Arab Women Literature
October 31, 2002

Arab Women and Their Husbands
In many societies, the relationships between people differ and in some ways are all alike. None so obscure as the relationship between man and woman. It is especially intriguing to witness the compatibility of both especially in marriage. Using the three novels Pillars of Salt, by Fadia Faqir, A Woman of Five Seasons, by Leila Al-Atrash, and A Balcony over the Fakihani, by Liyana Badr one might begin to analyze the different relationships between men and women in Arab culture. While any relationship is uniquely different, these novels will aid in getting a better idea about Arab women and their husbands.
The stories begin with the novel Pillars of Salt where Maha and Um Saad are roommates in a mental hospital.
Born a Bedouin woman by the Red Sea, in Jordan, Maha was a young woman living with her father and callous brother, when she became familiar with Harb, another man of their tribe. One night, while Maha was telling a particular story to Harb, he dismissed the subject and asked if she could meet with him that night. To Maha?s astonishment she replied, "Are you mad? For a girl to be out at night is a crime of honor. They will shoot me between the eyes" (p10). This secret meeting would be forbidden by the tribe because a woman?s virginity was held sacred and if it were taken away there would be little to no chance of marriage or respect, as it was for Maha?s friend Nasra, who was raped by Maha?s brother.
Later on, a wedding proposal occurred when the dignitaries of the tribe came and asked Maha?s father for the hand of Maha, in the name of Harb. After slight hesitation by Maha?s father, because he was giving away his only daughter, the deal was sealed and Harb gave five camels to his future father-in-law as dowry. Maha began to remember the words of her dead mother and questioned her shortly approaching marriage. Her mother told her that, "men were birds of prey; they chased the quarry as long as it was alive and struggling, but when they had killed it and filled their stomachs, they looked around for another" (p16). As a result, Maha was happy that she never met with Harb in private, for she could have ended up like Nasra and would never get married. Perhaps if she did meet with Harb he would taken advantage of her and then thrown her away like something used. Maha couldn?t help to think that maybe Harb was "just like any other man in [the] tribe, he proposed to [her] because [she] said no" (p 16).
On the night before the wedding Maha was not allowed to spin for "spinning on the night of your engagement was a bad omen" (p 24) and instead she had to prepare for the wedding feast because her mother, who had died, was not there. As it would have been tradition for her mother to do so. The day of the wedding was hard for Maha, because she had to cook all the food for the tribe and still get herself ready for presentation, seeing as the mother-of-the-groom was to inspect her (p 41).
Another tradition arose on the wedding night, when proof is expected of the bride?s virginity. Of course "all the members of the tribe would wait outside the door for proof", but it became uncomfortable for the couple to proceed with all the distraction. Maha asked herself "what if they were never given the sheet with blood on it?" (p 44) Would the tribe believe that Maha was impure? Would the marriage be called off? Would Maha turn into and outcast like Nasra? Most likely this would be the case, but as it turned out Maha cut her finger with Harb?s knife and dropped the blood from it onto the sheet. No one, but the two of them, would ever know. That night Maha did eventually loose her virginity to her husband. Her love was now sealed by this time, even though she knew it before, because she "loved him like the love of henna for water. As long as camels chew the barley and groves yield oranges, [she] would love him" (p 16). Often Maha?s love was reciprocated by her husband and proven when he would refer to her as the "companion of my soul" or "my mare". These endearing names prove to be respectful towards Maha; it shows that Maha was held in high regard by her husband rather than just ?his woman? and not a machine solely to pleasure him whenever he wished, or be a body to produce ?his? children.
Although it is with this thought of having children that tormented Maha, as such things were expected of her as a wife. She wanted to get pregnant and "hated the sight of [her] menstrual blood sticking out its tongue to [her] every twenty-eight days" (p 67). Not only was she putting the pressure on herself, but so were the old women of the tribe, especially her mother-in-law, who would ask regularly, "Is the barrel still empty?" (p 67) Thus, when Harb would return home from work he would find Maha in a disappointing mood. He would tell her, "don?t listen to old women" for "you are a strong mare" (p 69). This again proves Harb?s loyalty and compassion towards his wife. As a last resort, Maha decides to visit a woman of the tribe who could possibly help her by using certain old-fashioned techniques. When the first agonizing series of procedures don?t work Harb asks his wife, while she is in pain, "Do you want me to get married to another woman?" Maha responds by saying, "No, I don?t want any other woman. Maha, the mare which has noble origin will let nobody humiliate her" (p 76). Harb then holds Maha tight and later doesn?t marry another woman. It is interesting to see the intensity that Maha possesses through her husband, who places her on this metaphorical pedestal, by calling her his "mare". He asks her want she wants rather than going after what he wants, as is so often assumed in Arab culture, especially in Bedouin culture.
After a second visit to the medicine woman, for another set of procedures, Maha returns home in pain, worse than before, and waits for her husband to return home. When he eventually does return they make love for the last time, this time with success.
One aspect of Maha and Harb?s relationship that is almost never talked about is his job. It is understood that he goes of into the mountains for long periods of time and fights the enemies. It is from another woman in the tribe who tells Maha "Harb was fighting the English" (p 55). This is knowledge of Harb fighting the English occupation remains with her, especially after she finds out that Harb has died in battle against them.
The death of Harb is quite traumatic towards Maha. She remained in bed silent for a days and when she came to, she realized that she was pregnant because she "had not seen [her] blood for thirty-five days". She then became joyous with expectancy and wailed as she thought "my husband is not dead", because the child within her became his legacy and Maha?s new "twin of [her] soul" (p118). Days passed and Maha returned to her old house and lived with her father. She returned to work in the gardens, as she had done before and eventually gave birth to a son. Maha was deeply saddened because she thought about her husband and how her son "was a tied orphan with no father and no backbone. Nobody to lean on" (p 137). Her son had no man to respect; no proper guidance for a young boy. The only men were Maha?s father, who was too old, and her brother, who lacked decency. Maha never forgot her husband but moved on and changed her role from a wife to a mother.
It is with one last crucial event that exemplifies Maha?s devotion and love for her husband. It occurs when Samir Pasha, the official of the area surrounding Maha?s encampment, asked Maha if she could cook a certain traditional dish for his guests. She agreed and traveled to the Pasha?s spacious home and began to cook the food. After some time, when the guests arrived, Maha saw that there were people coming in with "blonde hair and grand uniforms" (p 160). Maha became nervous and asked the Sudanese cook, who was helping her make the meal, who the people were. He responded by saying, "Our masters, the English" (p 161). Maha became angry and thought to herself, "The English. The English killed Harb, the twin of my soul, and made my son and orphan" (p 162). She was enraged and stormed out of the Pasha?s compound, running all the way to her encampment. No way was Maha going to cook and serve the same people who killed her husband. Even after Harb?s death devotion and love remained. It was this rebellious act that paved the way for Maha?s arrival to the mental hospital, where she met Um Saad, a woman from the city of Amman.
Born in Syria, Um Saad, or Haniyyeh as she was called as a child, grew up in Jordan. It was when she was much older that her troubles for a husband started. One day Haniyyeh curiously opened the window to view a Circassian immigrant wedding going on in the street. Catching her, her strict father began to beat her with his belt. With a bruise as consequence Haniyyeh felt helpless and vulnerable, but with the help of some make up and her veil she eventually made her way back into the public by going to the store. While there, Haniyyeh broke down and began to cry, which edged the owner, also a Circassian, named Muhammad, to grab her arm and take her in the back room. It seemed that Muhammad had been infatuated with Haniyyeh and took his passion a step further by attempting rape. Haniyyeh protested by saying, "No, you must not. Do not touch me". This resistance led to Muhammad then replying, "I want to marry you" (p 80). Again Maha?s theory is put to the test. Was it because Haniyyeh said "no" that Muhammad wanted her the only way he could have her, through marriage? Muhammad then tried to marry her in the proper fashion, by first asking permission from her father. When he did so the father immediately began to refuse by first pointing out that he was Circassian, but in the end the only way Muhammad would be properly rejected was when Haniyyeh?s father told him that she was already betrothed to her cousin. Another theme shown is that of asking for the proper permission of marriage. In both the stories of Maha and Haniyyeh are the inquiring men forced to first approach the father of the woman they hope to marry for permission. Unfortunately, for Haniyyeh, the proposal doesn?t go through and finds out that her father has already planned her marriage to an unknown cousin. This doesn?t seem to be traditional, but Haniyyeh is dressed up in her best clothes then hauled off to some unknown place and discovers it is the location of her wedding. She remembers the night of her wedding and thinks "the man, my husband, who afterwards I discovered was called Abu Saad, chased me and ripped my dress apart" (p 109). Haniyyeh, now called Um Saad, believes that "If [she was] really mad, then [her] brain must have crumbled down that night" (p 111). Together they had eight sons and still she said "we never talked, Abu Saad and I. He gave orders and I listened" (p 151) and that they "just coexisted" (p 158). This relationship is very different to that of Harb and Maha?s, for Harb was very gentile to Maha and it seemed that when they were around each other they were always together and never "just coexisted".
Like that of Maha?s story, there was an event that epitomized the relationship between Um Saad and Abu Saad. This was when he entered their home with a younger woman introducing her as "Yusra my new wife" (p 178). Um Saad?s outrage was like that of Maha?s. Outraged at betrayal, she responded with a "How dare you?", but there was no reply except for a back turn and a locked door. That night Um Saad was forced to sleep on the floor and woke up to her husband saying, "what?s for breakfast?", which caused her to have a fit. Um Saad later on says to Maha, "days have gone and days have come and I?ve lived long enough to see another woman occupying my own house" (p 185).
This story is of two torn women, Um Saad who wanted love, but could not have it, while Maha, who had love, but lost it. They exemplify the relationships of two Arab women who are bound by the traditions of their people and are forced to live a life that they are given.
In the second novel, A Woman of Five Seasons, the theme is quite different, where the primary female evolves from a subordinate Arab wife to an influencing and powerful woman.
As chapter one begins it is immediately noticed how the husband, Ihsan, is constantly trying to objectify his wife, Nadia. He calls her "my lovely kitten", which is completely opposite to Harb?s "mare", as a kitten is small, meek and thus only important when others deem it so. Nadia mentions how "it made her feel ill when he called her his kitten" (p 13). From then on Ihsan tries to convince Nadia to accompany him to a party where he may be able to make contacts with other people for his lucrative business, but Nadia doesn?t want to go. In order to entice his wife Ihsan buys her elegant gifts, for example, he tells her,

"I found this quite marvelous dress at Harrods. It cost the earth, from a top designer. You should have seen the salesgirls? eyes as they wrapped it up! Lucky wife, they were thinking, every one of them. Harrods! No one shops there except
kings and princes and rich people" (p 12).

Nadia didn?t respond and this causes Ihsan to talk more about a diamond set and trip to London in the winter (p 12). Nadia, trying to get her opinion out, said that she didn?t want to go to London because it gets cold in the winter and she "can?t stand the cold". Ihsan then says that he "won?t let [Nadia] get cold ?Or make [her] get wet in the rain either!"(p 13). This cute remark sounds nice and protective-like, but Nadia finds this offensive because "it hurt her that he could never see her as anything but his woman" (p 13).
If it wasn?t Ihsan who bought her to do the things he wanted her to do, it was Nadia making herself feel guilty. She would remember old Bedouin thoughts where the wife must "do whatever [her husband] tells [her]. Keep all his secrets. Let him find only the purest fragrance in [her]" (p 33). Then after her guilt it would be him saying that "of course you are [going]. You?re a sensible woman, aren?t you, who stands by her husband and supports him?"(p 36). Nadia would then go, but "hated what [she wasn?t], to smile when [she was] not happy" (p 36). This objectification is new as it pours out a different perspective in to the lives of Arab women in wealthy households. While Nadia may not be forced to cook her husband?s dinner or wash his laundry, she is expected to perform her wifely duty and accompany Ihsan to wherever he may choose to her go.
Like in Maha?s case, Nadia too was pressured by those around her and herself. After she was married, she tried to get pregnant, but for a while it seemed that she "couldn?t conceive; [and that was] something we (women) weren?t allowed to discover" (p 40). So she dropped out of college because she "couldn?t think of anything beyond proving [that she] could be a mother" (p 41). Finally, Nadia had a child and tried to go back to school, but Ihsan distracted her and by the time her tests came up "he demanded a second pregnancy, and another year was lost" (p 42). Nadia hated it how Ihsan "planned the first chapter of [her] life" (p 42). She wanted more control and soon it would come crawling into her hands.
At the end of chapter three Ihsan gives Nadia $200,000 in gold, but says she wanted land instead and argues with him for it. Then the defeat comes when Ihsan says that he will sell the gold and buy her land, but because she enjoys this argument, she continues it by asking for "both" and says "as of now, and until you?ve done it for me, we sleep in separate bedrooms" (p 79). This ultimatum is a sign of Nadia winning she is trying to mold Ihsan and no longer wants to be involved in "his game". She wanted to "shout and get angry, then stand [her] ground" (p 45).
In the last chapter, the controls have completely switched. Nadia begins to invite her own guests for dinner. One guest in particular is that of Jessica Raban, an ex-Realtor and employee of Ihsan. The two women become close and Nadia decides she wants to open a real estate office. At first Ihsan doesn?t believe her, but her confidence is overwhelming and Ihsan asks her to "give [him] time to arrange things" (p 115). Besides opening a real estate office Nadia decided to register in college and study business. When she tells Ihsan that she has done this he becomes very angry for not telling him sooner. Nadia returns the fury by telling him that she would have told him, if he weren?t away all the time and if she knew where he was. Ihsan dismisses the argument. Nadia then narrates "Now each of us was preoccupied with something the other didn?t understand and held back from asking about" (p 137).
This preoccupation of Ihsan?s was an affair with another woman. Nadia discovers this and even has pictures to prove it. Everything is spilt when Ihsan comes home to see his wife and finds her missing. Frantically, Ihsan calls her friend Jessica, but she hasn?t see Nadia in two days. Then Nadia enters the house and Ihsan asks wildly where she was. Nadia replies by saying, "why should you care? You go away for weeks without telling me where you are. I?ve been away for just three days-in fifteen years of marriage" (p 166). The argument ensues then ends in a tumultuous halt when she shows him the pictures of his affair. It is then that Ihsan reasons "the decision, he knew, was hers alone now" (p 168).
This passing of power is very interesting to see. In the beginning, Ihsan is obsessive over "his kitten" and keeps a check on whatever it is Nadia does. As Nadia begins to separate herself from her husbands work, and life, Ihsan becomes more and more preoccupied doing his job and making more money. As he is away from his wife more often, and finds companionship in others places, with another woman. What Ihsan fails to see is his wife following her own pleasures and thus gathering up her own confidence. In the end, it is Ihsan?s failure of doing his part as a husband that causes his downfall and Nadia?s uprise as a wife, which reverses the roles of power and reveals the true of the situation. When Ihsan returns home hoping to find his position as man of the house; he is wrong. Nadia no longer feels guilt from him, and has the pictures to prove it, but rather the guilt is on him.
In the last novel, Balcony over the Fakihani, there are the stories of two women. The first woman is called Yusra and her short story is very similar to that of Maha?s.
Married to a Palestinian radiographer, who worked in the military, named Ahmad, Yusra was living in war torn Lebanon when an Israeli air raid killed her husband. She would recount her husband?s smile and enjoyments of picture talking. After he died she fell into a depression, "the martyr?s wife lay on her bed, utterly broken, shaken by fits of weeping so intense that they took away all her strength" (p 25). Yusra had to come out of her depression because she was three months pregnant; "six more to complete the pregnancy. Another person would be born. It would be Palestinian, from its first moment in the world" (p 25). This story is almost identical to that of Maha?s, in Pillars of Salt. Both women are forced to live their lives without their husbands, who meant so much to them. The only remains are of the children that they carry. They are extremely devoted to making sure that their child will be the new companion in their lives, with the shadows of their fathers trailing behind them, because in the words of Yusra, "I hadn?t expected to marry a man who?d love me and want me, wait with me, then leave forever and never come back" (p 4).
The final story is of an Arab woman who also lives in Lebanon, during the war. Su?ad, who meets a Tunisian fellow, named Umar, through mutual friends, recounts that after "he was absent for a long time [she] was full of anxiety and expectation; [she] began to miss his friendly presence and feel the need to see him" (p 38). Time passed and he eventually asked her to marry him. Contrary to the story of Maha and Um Saad, Umar asked Su?ad to marry him rather than him asking her family. This made Su?ad uneasy, but eventually she had her parents? permission.
The couple had difficult beginnings in trying to find a proper place to live. Su?ad said that "the whole situation was becoming such a maze of difficulties that a trip to the moon seemed straight forward by comparison" (p 41). They eventually found a place, but it wasn?t very sanitary and she "started coughing all the time, [her] face turned yellow in color?" (p 42). As it turned out Su?ad was pregnant, but later lost the baby and became anemic. They moved immediately, but didn?t last long there when Security Forces arrested Umar because it was believed the "apartment was being used to store arms" (p 43). The couple was forced to move to Shatila camp, where Su?ad had twins and Umar often went off traveling for military training courses. After an attack on the camp the family was forced to return to Fakihani, Beirut. Su?ad recalled the times when she and her friend Jinan were joined by Umar for "coffee and talk", and how "he?d laugh at [them] when [they] complained". He would then say that "it?s not the end of the world, girls, you?ve got to show what you?re made of" (p 48). Umar would then crack a joke. Su?ad remembers how she "felt no reason to complain; everything was fine as long as [they] were together" (p 48).
Then Umar got sick with an "unknown germ" and had to travel to a foreign country in order to receive treatment. It was a hesitant passage for him and his wife, because it was uncertain if he would return. Umar reflected on his life and family and his content relationship with his wife, until he met Louisa his nurse, with whom he had a relation with. After treatment, Umar got better and would go out with Louisa. They "walked and talked as though [they] had known each other since child hood" (p 57). Then they?re "devotion turned to a love of a strange new kind?" (p 57). Together they would go shopping and, knowing about Umar?s wife and children, would pick things out for them. As Umar?s time to leave drew closer, Lousia kept her distance and when Umar returned they would often write back and forth to each other. These letters were no secret to Su?ad, but she still felt uncomfortable hearing about them. I was one night in bed that Umar remembers Su?ad having a bad dream about him leaving her, but he consoled her and "swore to her that the matter with Louisa meant nothing to [him] at all" (p 63). As it turned out the fright that haunted Su?ad wasn?t about Umar leaving for Lousia, but "something else" (p 64). Umar later died, while out on patrol, when a building collapsed on him from an attack in the area. The morning before the attack Su?ad remarked at how handsome her husband looked in his suit and he told her that he was putting his belt on the way she liked it just for her.
When all the novels are presented and their stories understood it is hard not to find many distinct similarities. It begins with first acquaintances and courtship, if there is any. In the novel Pillars of Salt it is obviously important for the perspective husband to first ask the father, of the woman he wishes to marry, for her hand in marriage. It is the opposite with the story of Su?ad and Umar who first agree they want to be married then together, ask her parents. The customs that follow are all expected, for example it is vital the woman be pure and chaste before she marries, therefore often times marriage seems to be the answer for sex. In this case it is no wonder why many women in these novels are unhappy with their situation. They have either been unable to date and therefore must "get to know" the person by marriage. Or are forced into something they are curious about, that is sex. It seems on the marriage night all of these questions are discovered. For Maha it was wonderful and gentile, while for Um Saad it was frightening and disheartening. This night seems to echo their future relationship with their husbands.
Another aspect of the couple?s trouble is that of reproduction. In all the novels children are born; sometimes by difficultly or with great ease. In the case of Maha, Nadia, and Su?ad they had problems with having children. Maha was forced to go through a series of painful procedures and Nadia was forced to quit school in order to proceed with her wifely duties of having children. If they couldn?t, it was considered embarrassing and frowned upon. This leads to more wifely duties, when most often wives were forced to follow their husband?s every whim. In the case of Nadia, she felt her husband asked too much of her and failed to see her needs and wants. With Um Saad she had to become the proper housewife by cooking and cleaning the house, all day long. It is with this that she becomes tired and, instead of tending to her and trying to help her out, her husband decides to simply marry another woman.
In all three of the novels the ending seems to be clear. Often there is some sort of crucial event that brings the whole situation crumbling down or to a close. Especially interesting is the trade of power. From a subordinate wife to a power holding woman, Nadia seems to have found the key to make her husband see her for whatever she wants him to see as her as. In other cases it seems that the only other answer is living without this respect. Unfortunately, Um Saad exemplifies this characteristic and therefore becomes insane.
More commonly, the end appears with the unexpected death of the husband. Each dying in some sort of battle, Maha?s, Yusra?s, and Su?ad?s husbands were all kind men, who respected their wives and never hurt them irreverently. It is with this that the say goes "good men die young". While that has nothing to do with Arab culture specifically, it does seem to be a continuing theme in these novels, by Arab women. Where war and detachment in their world lead them on an emotional rollercoaster ride, these women are forced to form attachments with others, who are most likely their husbands. These relationships are all individual, and therefore not always the case, but very clearly point out logical and possible situations in Arab culture marriages.

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: Molly Beth Corcoran : Arab Women Literature : October 31, 2002 : Arab Women and Their Husbands : In many societies, the relationships between people differ and in some ways are all alike. None so obscure as the relationship between man and woman. It is especially intriguing to witness the compatibility of both especially in marriage. Using the three novels Pillars of Salt, by Fadia Faqir, A Woman of Five Seasons, by Leila Al-Atrash, and A Balcony over the Fakihani, by Liyana Badr one might begin to analyze the different relationships between men and women in Arab culture. While any relationship is uniquely different, these novels will aid in getting a better idea about Arab women and their husbands. : The stories begin with the novel Pillars of Salt where Maha and Um Saad are roommates in a mental hospital. : Born a Bedouin woman by the Red Sea, in Jordan, Maha was a young woman living with her father and callous brother, when she became familiar with Harb, another man of their tribe. One night, while Maha was telling a particular story to Harb, he dismissed the subject and asked if she could meet with him that night. To Maha?s astonishment she replied, "Are you mad? For a girl to be out at night is a crime of honor. They will shoot me between the eyes" (p10). This secret meeting would be forbidden by the tribe because a woman?s virginity was held sacred and if it were taken away there would be little to no chance of marriage or respect, as it was for Maha?s friend Nasra, who was raped by Maha?s brother. : Later on, a wedding proposal occurred when the dignitaries of the tribe came and asked Maha?s father for the hand of Maha, in the name of Harb. After slight hesitation by Maha?s father, because he was giving away his only daughter, the deal was sealed and Harb gave five camels to his future father-in-law as dowry. Maha began to remember the words of her dead mother and questioned her shortly approaching marriage. Her mother told her that, "men were birds of prey; they chased the quarry as long as it was alive and struggling, but when they had killed it and filled their stomachs, they looked around for another" (p16). As a result, Maha was happy that she never met with Harb in private, for she could have ended up like Nasra and would never get married. Perhaps if she did meet with Harb he would taken advantage of her and then thrown her away like something used. Maha couldn?t help to think that maybe Harb was "just like any other man in [the] tribe, he proposed to [her] because [she] said no" (p 16). : On the night before the wedding Maha was not allowed to spin for "spinning on the night of your engagement was a bad omen" (p 24) and instead she had to prepare for the wedding feast because her mother, who had died, was not there. As it would have been tradition for her mother to do so. The day of the wedding was hard for Maha, because she had to cook all the food for the tribe and still get herself ready for presentation, seeing as the mother-of-the-groom was to inspect her (p 41). : Another tradition arose on the wedding night, when proof is expected of the bride?s virginity. Of course "all the members of the tribe would wait outside the door for proof", but it became uncomfortable for the couple to proceed with all the distraction. Maha asked herself "what if they were never given the sheet with blood on it?" (p 44) Would the tribe believe that Maha was impure? Would the marriage be called off? Would Maha turn into and outcast like Nasra? Most likely this would be the case, but as it turned out Maha cut her finger with Harb?s knife and dropped the blood from it onto the sheet. No one, but the two of them, would ever know. That night Maha did eventually loose her virginity to her husband. Her love was now sealed by this time, even though she knew it before, because she "loved him like the love of henna for water. As long as camels chew the barley and groves yield oranges, [she] would love him" (p 16). Often Maha?s love was reciprocated by her husband and proven when he would refer to her as the "companion of my soul" or "my mare". These endearing names prove to be respectful towards Maha; it shows that Maha was held in high regard by her husband rather than just ?his woman? and not a machine solely to pleasure him whenever he wished, or be a body to produce ?his? children. : Although it is with this thought of having children that tormented Maha, as such things were expected of her as a wife. She wanted to get pregnant and "hated the sight of [her] menstrual blood sticking out its tongue to [her] every twenty-eight days" (p 67). Not only was she putting the pressure on herself, but so were the old women of the tribe, especially her mother-in-law, who would ask regularly, "Is the barrel still empty?" (p 67) Thus, when Harb would return home from work he would find Maha in a disappointing mood. He would tell her, "don?t listen to old women" for "you are a strong mare" (p 69). This again proves Harb?s loyalty and compassion towards his wife. As a last resort, Maha decides to visit a woman of the tribe who could possibly help her by using certain old-fashioned techniques. When the first agonizing series of procedures don?t work Harb asks his wife, while she is in pain, "Do you want me to get married to another woman?" Maha responds by saying, "No, I don?t want any other woman. Maha, the mare which has noble origin will let nobody humiliate her" (p 76). Harb then holds Maha tight and later doesn?t marry another woman. It is interesting to see the intensity that Maha possesses through her husband, who places her on this metaphorical pedestal, by calling her his "mare". He asks her want she wants rather than going after what he wants, as is so often assumed in Arab culture, especially in Bedouin culture. : After a second visit to the medicine woman, for another set of procedures, Maha returns home in pain, worse than before, and waits for her husband to return home. When he eventually does return they make love for the last time, this time with success. : One aspect of Maha and Harb?s relationship that is almost never talked about is his job. It is understood that he goes of into the mountains for long periods of time and fights the enemies. It is from another woman in the tribe who tells Maha "Harb was fighting the English" (p 55). This is knowledge of Harb fighting the English occupation remains with her, especially after she finds out that Harb has died in battle against them. : The death of Harb is quite traumatic towards Maha. She remained in bed silent for a days and when she came to, she realized that she was pregnant because she "had not seen [her] blood for thirty-five days". She then became joyous with expectancy and wailed as she thought "my husband is not dead", because the child within her became his legacy and Maha?s new "twin of [her] soul" (p118). Days passed and Maha returned to her old house and lived with her father. She returned to work in the gardens, as she had done before and eventually gave birth to a son. Maha was deeply saddened because she thought about her husband and how her son "was a tied orphan with no father and no backbone. Nobody to lean on" (p 137). Her son had no man to respect; no proper guidance for a young boy. The only men were Maha?s father, who was too old, and her brother, who lacked decency. Maha never forgot her husband but moved on and changed her role from a wife to a mother. : It is with one last crucial event that exemplifies Maha?s devotion and love for her husband. It occurs when Samir Pasha, the official of the area surrounding Maha?s encampment, asked Maha if she could cook a certain traditional dish for his guests. She agreed and traveled to the Pasha?s spacious home and began to cook the food. After some time, when the guests arrived, Maha saw that there were people coming in with "blonde hair and grand uniforms" (p 160). Maha became nervous and asked the Sudanese cook, who was helping her make the meal, who the people were. He responded by saying, "Our masters, the English" (p 161). Maha became angry and thought to herself, "The English. The English killed Harb, the twin of my soul, and made my son and orphan" (p 162). She was enraged and stormed out of the Pasha?s compound, running all the way to her encampment. No way was Maha going to cook and serve the same people who killed her husband. Even after Harb?s death devotion and love remained. It was this rebellious act that paved the way for Maha?s arrival to the mental hospital, where she met Um Saad, a woman from the city of Amman. : Born in Syria, Um Saad, or Haniyyeh as she was called as a child, grew up in Jordan. It was when she was much older that her troubles for a husband started. One day Haniyyeh curiously opened the window to view a Circassian immigrant wedding going on in the street. Catching her, her strict father began to beat her with his belt. With a bruise as consequence Haniyyeh felt helpless and vulnerable, but with the help of some make up and her veil she eventually made her way back into the public by going to the store. While there, Haniyyeh broke down and began to cry, which edged the owner, also a Circassian, named Muhammad, to grab her arm and take her in the back room. It seemed that Muhammad had been infatuated with Haniyyeh and took his passion a step further by attempting rape. Haniyyeh protested by saying, "No, you must not. Do not touch me". This resistance led to Muhammad then replying, "I want to marry you" (p 80). Again Maha?s theory is put to the test. Was it because Haniyyeh said "no" that Muhammad wanted her the only way he could have her, through marriage? Muhammad then tried to marry her in the proper fashion, by first asking permission from her father. When he did so the father immediately began to refuse by first pointing out that he was Circassian, but in the end the only way Muhammad would be properly rejected was when Haniyyeh?s father told him that she was already betrothed to her cousin. Another theme shown is that of asking for the proper permission of marriage. In both the stories of Maha and Haniyyeh are the inquiring men forced to first approach the father of the woman they hope to marry for permission. Unfortunately, for Haniyyeh, the proposal doesn?t go through and finds out that her father has already planned her marriage to an unknown cousin. This doesn?t seem to be traditional, but Haniyyeh is dressed up in her best clothes then hauled off to some unknown place and discovers it is the location of her wedding. She remembers the night of her wedding and thinks "the man, my husband, who afterwards I discovered was called Abu Saad, chased me and ripped my dress apart" (p 109). Haniyyeh, now called Um Saad, believes that "If [she was] really mad, then [her] brain must have crumbled down that night" (p 111). Together they had eight sons and still she said "we never talked, Abu Saad and I. He gave orders and I listened" (p 151) and that they "just coexisted" (p 158). This relationship is very different to that of Harb and Maha?s, for Harb was very gentile to Maha and it seemed that when they were around each other they were always together and never "just coexisted". : Like that of Maha?s story, there was an event that epitomized the relationship between Um Saad and Abu Saad. This was when he entered their home with a younger woman introducing her as "Yusra my new wife" (p 178). Um Saad?s outrage was like that of Maha?s. Outraged at betrayal, she responded with a "How dare you?", but there was no reply except for a back turn and a locked door. That night Um Saad was forced to sleep on the floor and woke up to her husband saying, "what?s for breakfast?", which caused her to have a fit. Um Saad later on says to Maha, "days have gone and days have come and I?ve lived long enough to see another woman occupying my own house" (p 185). : This story is of two torn women, Um Saad who wanted love, but could not have it, while Maha, who had love, but lost it. They exemplify the relationships of two Arab women who are bound by the traditions of their people and are forced to live a life that they are given. : In the second novel, A Woman of Five Seasons, the theme is quite different, where the primary female evolves from a subordinate Arab wife to an influencing and powerful woman. : As chapter one begins it is immediately noticed how the husband, Ihsan, is constantly trying to objectify his wife, Nadia. He calls her "my lovely kitten", which is completely opposite to Harb?s "mare", as a kitten is small, meek and thus only important when others deem it so. Nadia mentions how "it made her feel ill when he called her his kitten" (p 13). From then on Ihsan tries to convince Nadia to accompany him to a party where he may be able to make contacts with other people for his lucrative business, but Nadia doesn?t want to go. In order to entice his wife Ihsan buys her elegant gifts, for example, he tells her, : "I found this quite marvelous dress at Harrods. It cost the earth, from a top designer. You should have seen the salesgirls? eyes as they wrapped it up! Lucky wife, they were thinking, every one of them. Harrods! No one shops there except : kings and princes and rich people" (p 12). : Nadia didn?t respond and this causes Ihsan to talk more about a diamond set and trip to London in the winter (p 12). Nadia, trying to get her opinion out, said that she didn?t want to go to London because it gets cold in the winter and she "can?t stand the cold". Ihsan then says that he "won?t let [Nadia] get cold ?Or make [her] get wet in the rain either!"(p 13). This cute remark sounds nice and protective-like, but Nadia finds this offensive because "it hurt her that he could never see her as anything but his woman" (p 13). : If it wasn?t Ihsan who bought her to do the things he wanted her to do, it was Nadia making herself feel guilty. She would remember old Bedouin thoughts where the wife must "do whatever [her husband] tells [her]. Keep all his secrets. Let him find only the purest fragrance in [her]" (p 33). Then after her guilt it would be him saying that "of course you are [going]. You?re a sensible woman, aren?t you, who stands by her husband and supports him?"(p 36). Nadia would then go, but "hated what [she wasn?t], to smile when [she was] not happy" (p 36). This objectification is new as it pours out a different perspective in to the lives of Arab women in wealthy households. While Nadia may not be forced to cook her husband?s dinner or wash his laundry, she is expected to perform her wifely duty and accompany Ihsan to wherever he may choose to her go. : Like in Maha?s case, Nadia too was pressured by those around her and herself. After she was married, she tried to get pregnant, but for a while it seemed that she "couldn?t conceive; [and that was] something we (women) weren?t allowed to discover" (p 40). So she dropped out of college because she "couldn?t think of anything beyond proving [that she] could be a mother" (p 41). Finally, Nadia had a child and tried to go back to school, but Ihsan distracted her and by the time her tests came up "he demanded a second pregnancy, and another year was lost" (p 42). Nadia hated it how Ihsan "planned the first chapter of [her] life" (p 42). She wanted more control and soon it would come crawling into her hands. : At the end of chapter three Ihsan gives Nadia $200,000 in gold, but says she wanted land instead and argues with him for it. Then the defeat comes when Ihsan says that he will sell the gold and buy her land, but because she enjoys this argument, she continues it by asking for "both" and says "as of now, and until you?ve done it for me, we sleep in separate bedrooms" (p 79). This ultimatum is a sign of Nadia winning she is trying to mold Ihsan and no longer wants to be involved in "his game". She wanted to "shout and get angry, then stand [her] ground" (p 45). : In the last chapter, the controls have completely switched. Nadia begins to invite her own guests for dinner. One guest in particular is that of Jessica Raban, an ex-Realtor and employee of Ihsan. The two women become close and Nadia decides she wants to open a real estate office. At first Ihsan doesn?t believe her, but her confidence is overwhelming and Ihsan asks her to "give [him] time to arrange things" (p 115). Besides opening a real estate office Nadia decided to register in college and study business. When she tells Ihsan that she has done this he becomes very angry for not telling him sooner. Nadia returns the fury by telling him that she would have told him, if he weren?t away all the time and if she knew where he was. Ihsan dismisses the argument. Nadia then narrates "Now each of us was preoccupied with something the other didn?t understand and held back from asking about" (p 137). : This preoccupation of Ihsan?s was an affair with another woman. Nadia discovers this and even has pictures to prove it. Everything is spilt when Ihsan comes home to see his wife and finds her missing. Frantically, Ihsan calls her friend Jessica, but she hasn?t see Nadia in two days. Then Nadia enters the house and Ihsan asks wildly where she was. Nadia replies by saying, "why should you care? You go away for weeks without telling me where you are. I?ve been away for just three days-in fifteen years of marriage" (p 166). The argument ensues then ends in a tumultuous halt when she shows him the pictures of his affair. It is then that Ihsan reasons "the decision, he knew, was hers alone now" (p 168). : This passing of power is very interesting to see. In the beginning, Ihsan is obsessive over "his kitten" and keeps a check on whatever it is Nadia does. As Nadia begins to separate herself from her husbands work, and life, Ihsan becomes more and more preoccupied doing his job and making more money. As he is away from his wife more often, and finds companionship in others places, with another woman. What Ihsan fails to see is his wife following her own pleasures and thus gathering up her own confidence. In the end, it is Ihsan?s failure of doing his part as a husband that causes his downfall and Nadia?s uprise as a wife, which reverses the roles of power and reveals the true of the situation. When Ihsan returns home hoping to find his position as man of the house; he is wrong. Nadia no longer feels guilt from him, and has the pictures to prove it, but rather the guilt is on him. : In the last novel, Balcony over the Fakihani, there are the stories of two women. The first woman is called Yusra and her short story is very similar to that of Maha?s. : Married to a Palestinian radiographer, who worked in the military, named Ahmad, Yusra was living in war torn Lebanon when an Israeli air raid killed her husband. She would recount her husband?s smile and enjoyments of picture talking. After he died she fell into a depression, "the martyr?s wife lay on her bed, utterly broken, shaken by fits of weeping so intense that they took away all her strength" (p 25). Yusra had to come out of her depression because she was three months pregnant; "six more to complete the pregnancy. Another person would be born. It would be Palestinian, from its first moment in the world" (p 25). This story is almost identical to that of Maha?s, in Pillars of Salt. Both women are forced to live their lives without their husbands, who meant so much to them. The only remains are of the children that they carry. They are extremely devoted to making sure that their child will be the new companion in their lives, with the shadows of their fathers trailing behind them, because in the words of Yusra, "I hadn?t expected to marry a man who?d love me and want me, wait with me, then leave forever and never come back" (p 4). : The final story is of an Arab woman who also lives in Lebanon, during the war. Su?ad, who meets a Tunisian fellow, named Umar, through mutual friends, recounts that after "he was absent for a long time [she] was full of anxiety and expectation; [she] began to miss his friendly presence and feel the need to see him" (p 38). Time passed and he eventually asked her to marry him. Contrary to the story of Maha and Um Saad, Umar asked Su?ad to marry him rather than him asking her family. This made Su?ad uneasy, but eventually she had her parents? permission. : The couple had difficult beginnings in trying to find a proper place to live. Su?ad said that "the whole situation was becoming such a maze of difficulties that a trip to the moon seemed straight forward by comparison" (p 41). They eventually found a place, but it wasn?t very sanitary and she "started coughing all the time, [her] face turned yellow in color?" (p 42). As it turned out Su?ad was pregnant, but later lost the baby and became anemic. They moved immediately, but didn?t last long there when Security Forces arrested Umar because it was believed the "apartment was being used to store arms" (p 43). The couple was forced to move to Shatila camp, where Su?ad had twins and Umar often went off traveling for military training courses. After an attack on the camp the family was forced to return to Fakihani, Beirut. Su?ad recalled the times when she and her friend Jinan were joined by Umar for "coffee and talk", and how "he?d laugh at [them] when [they] complained". He would then say that "it?s not the end of the world, girls, you?ve got to show what you?re made of" (p 48). Umar would then crack a joke. Su?ad remembers how she "felt no reason to complain; everything was fine as long as [they] were together" (p 48). : Then Umar got sick with an "unknown germ" and had to travel to a foreign country in order to receive treatment. It was a hesitant passage for him and his wife, because it was uncertain if he would return. Umar reflected on his life and family and his content relationship with his wife, until he met Louisa his nurse, with whom he had a relation with. After treatment, Umar got better and would go out with Louisa. They "walked and talked as though [they] had known each other since child hood" (p 57). Then they?re "devotion turned to a love of a strange new kind?" (p 57). Together they would go shopping and, knowing about Umar?s wife and children, would pick things out for them. As Umar?s time to leave drew closer, Lousia kept her distance and when Umar returned they would often write back and forth to each other. These letters were no secret to Su?ad, but she still felt uncomfortable hearing about them. I was one night in bed that Umar remembers Su?ad having a bad dream about him leaving her, but he consoled her and "swore to her that the matter with Louisa meant nothing to [him] at all" (p 63). As it turned out the fright that haunted Su?ad wasn?t about Umar leaving for Lousia, but "something else" (p 64). Umar later died, while out on patrol, when a building collapsed on him from an attack in the area. The morning before the attack Su?ad remarked at how handsome her husband looked in his suit and he told her that he was putting his belt on the way she liked it just for her. : When all the novels are presented and their stories understood it is hard not to find many distinct similarities. It begins with first acquaintances and courtship, if there is any. In the novel Pillars of Salt it is obviously important for the perspective husband to first ask the father, of the woman he wishes to marry, for her hand in marriage. It is the opposite with the story of Su?ad and Umar who first agree they want to be married then together, ask her parents. The customs that follow are all expected, for example it is vital the woman be pure and chaste before she marries, therefore often times marriage seems to be the answer for sex. In this case it is no wonder why many women in these novels are unhappy with their situation. They have either been unable to date and therefore must "get to know" the person by marriage. Or are forced into something they are curious about, that is sex. It seems on the marriage night all of these questions are discovered. For Maha it was wonderful and gentile, while for Um Saad it was frightening and disheartening. This night seems to echo their future relationship with their husbands. : Another aspect of the couple?s trouble is that of reproduction. In all the novels children are born; sometimes by difficultly or with great ease. In the case of Maha, Nadia, and Su?ad they had problems with having children. Maha was forced to go through a series of painful procedures and Nadia was forced to quit school in order to proceed with her wifely duties of having children. If they couldn?t, it was considered embarrassing and frowned upon. This leads to more wifely duties, when most often wives were forced to follow their husband?s every whim. In the case of Nadia, she felt her husband asked too much of her and failed to see her needs and wants. With Um Saad she had to become the proper housewife by cooking and cleaning the house, all day long. It is with this that she becomes tired and, instead of tending to her and trying to help her out, her husband decides to simply marry another woman. : In all three of the novels the ending seems to be clear. Often there is some sort of crucial event that brings the whole situation crumbling down or to a close. Especially interesting is the trade of power. From a subordinate wife to a power holding woman, Nadia seems to have found the key to make her husband see her for whatever she wants him to see as her as. In other cases it seems that the only other answer is living without this respect. Unfortunately, Um Saad exemplifies this characteristic and therefore becomes insane. : More commonly, the end appears with the unexpected death of the husband. Each dying in some sort of battle, Maha?s, Yusra?s, and Su?ad?s husbands were all kind men, who respected their wives and never hurt them irreverently. It is with this that the say goes "good men die young". While that has nothing to do with Arab culture specifically, it does seem to be a continuing theme in these novels, by Arab women. Where war and detachment in their world lead them on an emotional rollercoaster ride, these women are forced to form attachments with others, who are most likely their husbands. These relationships are all individual, and therefore not always the case, but very clearly point out logical and possible situations in Arab culture marriages.

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