| ||||
|
|
|
||
| ||||
|
| |
|
|
|
||||
The role of married women within Islamic society is one that bears great scrutiny. Islamic women lose particular freedoms when they marry and assume many responsibilities within the household, but they also gain a great deal of legitimacy and influence. The most powerful women within families are unquestionably the matriarchs. They exercise influence over even the male members of the family and wield substantial power over the female members. Initially, women derive such status from marriage. After the wedding night, they no longer face the horrific possibility of shaming their families by not protecting their virginities. They can walk in public in stricter countries with men because the temptation has been removed and they are not perceived as threatening as young, virginal girls. As they mature, married women establish themselves in their husband’s family. Their position is strange because although they are considered outsiders, pains are taken to ensure that their interests are represented. Children further solidify their status and as the family ages, the women gain more and more power until they themselves become the matriarch. Divorce, however, is a phenomenon that strips married women of their influence and submits them to the lowest tier of the family strata. Married women face a handful of lots depending on situation, but it is a position that is at once powerful and powerless, solid and precarious.
Within the five novels studied this semester, each presents a different exploration of marriage in all its manifestations. No two situations are alike, so they present a wide range of variances in location, generation, religion, socio-economic circumstance, and character. An urban or rural setting lends very different perspectives, as does the era in which the characters live. Marriages between Muslim individuals experience a different set of social standards than marriages between Christian individuals, and inter-religion marriages. Women from poorer families face different demands than women from wealthy families and their duties differ accordingly. Finally, each character from the five novels is different from the next in their personalities, their strengths, weaknesses, and outlook. However, across the barriers of language, faith, nationality, and circumstance, there are common experiences that unite these women.
I. The Women
The main voice in Pillars of Salt belongs to a young woman named Maha. She lives in a rural village with her aged father and older brother. Her mother, Maliha, died when Maha was young, so their family is small by the standards of Arab families. Her older brother Daffash is a unusual figure in that he does not assume his responsibilities as a son should. He does not help out on his father’s farm when it is the responsibility of the son to take care of his parents as they age. Maha fulfills the role of both the son and daughter by helping with the manual work on the farm. She is the caretaker of the family, especially when her father is unable to endure physical labor any longer.
Because Maha lives in a rural environment, social roles are more flexible. The smallness and intimacy of her family further helps her bend the traditional social construct. Maha has a great say in her own marriage since her father leaves the choice up to her. As with many Arab families, the officially ceremony takes place between men, but Maha’s unofficial input is still remarkably important. Her father asks her “Will you accept Harb?” and Maha nods. (16) She was very much in love with Harb, the young man asking for her hand and married willingly.
What sets Maha apart from being an ordinary rural bride is that her beloved husband dies shortly after they marry. Harb is involved with the revolutionary movement and he is killed by western occupying forces during an excursion. Even her relationship with her mother-in-law is much less rigid than the standard because largely because it is small and intimate. Maha lives with her and she is kinder than most mother-in-laws to her.
The second voice within the novel Pillars of Salt is Um Saad. She acts as an urban counterpoint to Maha, weaving her starkly different experience around Maha’s flashbacks. Unlike Maha, Um Saad, whose real name is Haniyyeh, was trapped in an abusive marriage. In sharp comparision to Maha’s father, Um Saad’s was repressive and abusive. He allowed Haniyyeh no choice in her marriage, so the circumstances of her marriage are little better than those within her father’s household.
Um Saad bore eight sons, a feat that is usually considered tremendously worthy. Strangely for Um Saad, her children only exacerbated the situation. Most of her memory is of working non-stop to run a household of six men while receiving neither privilege nor respect in return.
In the next novel, A Woman of Five Seasons, the main character Nadia is a married woman living in a fictional gulf state, Barquis. Unlike Maha, who comes from a poorer agricultural village, Nadia belongs to the newly minted class. She and her husband Ilhsan are both Palestinian, though they have established themselves well by profiting off the burgeoning oil industry.
There is a second couple within the novel that serves as a foil. Ilhsan’s older brother Jalal, who loved Nadia before Ilhsan voiced his intentions, is married to Najwa. They are both political revolutionaries, while neither Nadia nor her husband is politically active past economic affairs.
Nadia and Ilhsan are economically able to live comfortably. They travel through Europe and are able to afford the best accomodations. They have three children but hire nannies so that they are rarely mentioned throughout the novel. Nadia contributes very little to the domestic upkeep of their ever-changing abode, prefering to read and contemplate instead.
A Balcony over the Fakihani is a short book separated into three stories. Yusra is the main character of the first story. She is a young girl growing up in a Palestinian refugee camp. She marries Ahmad, a Palestinian radiologist that is killed in an Israeli raid. She, like Maha, becomes a young mother without a husband.
One of the most striking characteristics about this book and Yusra’s situation is that she is surrounded by war. From a very early age, she grew accustomed to death and constant bombing. Her chore as a child was getting water for the family, a dangerous and difficult task. The result of growing up in such an unstable environment is that women grow up strong and adaptable. They also tend to have greater say over their lives, such as deciding who to marry.
Su’ad is the other strong female figure in the third story of the book. She is highly involved in politics as is her husband. Her house is a gathering place for influential politicians. The marriage between her and her husband, Umar, is full of respect.
When Umar goes to Hungary for medical treatment, he engages in an emotional affair with his doctor, Louisa. Although he is somewhat sentimentally unfaithful to Su’ad, his infidelity is markedly different from those of men not involved in politics. Nadia’s husband Ilhsan also engages in an affair in Europe, but the details are more sordid. Umar’s behavior is noticeably more honorable and upstanding and this may be a result of his political affiliation.
The narrator of Dreams of Trespass, the fourth novel, is a child. Eight year old Fatima lives in a harem in the city of Fez, in Morocco. She presents the world of the harem from the perspective of a girl who has known nothing different.
Marriage is a relationship she is able to observe in many different manifestations. Her own mother and father share a monogamous relationship, but her maternal grandmother, who lives in a rural harem, is one of several wives to her grandfather. The novel is set in the 1940s, a pivotal time in Moroccan politics. The generational difference is particularly pronounced since it involves different interpretations of marriage and the rights of women.
Harem life allows the interaction between women to be richer than the rest. Though Fatima’s immediate family is close knit, hierarchy is strictly observed. Power dynamics are illustrated between all the members, so the influence of each woman is clearly enunciated. On Fatima’s grandmother’s farm harem, these rules are more flexible, as is often the case when moving from urban to rural settings. Women exercise their freedoms less subversively and experience the liberty that comes with the luxury of space.
The matriarchal system is well addressed in Dreams of Trespass. It is especially well defined within the urban harem where several different generations interact. Observing who defers to whom is a perspective that the other novels are somewhat sparse with.
In the last novel, In the Eye of the Sun, Asya is a young Egyptian woman. She marries young and like Nadia, spends most of her time in Europe. She comes from an upper-class family, so she has access to means and opportunities that less priviledged individuals do not enjoy.
Growing up in a relatively liberal family in the 1990s, Asya is allowed certain freedoms within the strict confines of her state. Honor is still a sacred familial quality, but in allowing their daughter to study in England, Asya’s parents exhibit a modernism that is striking. Set in urban Cairo, Asya is caught between two worlds, one of traditional and honor and one of academic liberalism.
By many standards, Asya’s marriage is modern. She very much chose her husband, though her parents did have a strong influence on when she married. Considerations within this novel are more cultural than religious, which lends yet another angle. Asya spends most of her married life away from her husband, which is unusual. Their estranged relationship is a huge anomaly within nearly all marriages.
Nothing about the characters we get to know is standard. Above any generalization is the acceptance that these are all individual stories. This paper will explore the manifestation of marriage in many different permutations of circumstance. How women manipulate their environment and situation to exercise influence and power is something that is distinctly different, yet also fundamentally similar to across cultures.
II. Marriage as a Social Milestone
In Arab societies, marriage is less a choice than a mandate. Very few women abstain from marriage, because it is taken for granted that marriage is one of the first tokens of adulthood. It is also a huge stabilizing force in a woman’s life. Since it is traditionally the job of the husband to support the household, much of a woman’s social and economic status is determined with her marriage.
Young unmarried girls are often perceived to be a liability in an Arabic family. She will not bring a husband into her family, but she will eventually leave to join another. There is a dowry paid for her hand in marriage, but this pales in comparison to the risks the family faces in defamation if her virtue is lost. The purity of a daughter reflects heavily upon her honor of her family, to the extent that in very traditional societies, male members may sometimes kill their own sisters to prevent her shame from affecting the family name.
Marriage, to many girls, thus represents a liberation of sorts. It grants them many freedoms since their perceived threat is gone. It is a milestone that is often looked forward to, especially for younger generations. They are exploring the breadth of their power as wives in revolutionary ways. Marriage is often the first step taken for a young woman, past formal education.
Arab women approach marriage in an intrinsically different way than in western cultures. Whereas the European and American tradition is to marry after a woman establishes herself professionally, women marry much younger in Arab societies. They marry before commencing a political or business career as younger generations have been apt to do. Much of a woman’s character is based on who her husband is, though this is a gross generalization.
Maha is young when she marries Harb, a young man that lives in the same rural area. Due to her family’s unconventional customs, Maha did not spend much time dreaming about marriage since she is the primary caretaker. Since the early death of her mother, Maha has assumed the domestic duties that her brother shirks. She worries that if she marries, there will be no one to take care of her aging father since she will become apart of Harb’s household.
However, Maha and Harb fall in love and from the start of the novel, it is established that they have deep connection. After a ceremony between Maha’s father and the sheikh of Harb’s tribe, they are pronounced married. Although marriage is an institution that Islam accounts for, it should be noted that these wedding customs are secular. They vary in country, region, environmental setting, and socioeconomic position.
In rural Jordan, where Maha’s village is located, the marriage ceremony is simple. Like most rituals in her culture, it does not involve women. There is pervasive belief in the idea that women cannot represent their own interest, and this traditional interpretation of gender roles is especially well rooted in the rural areas. In unofficial ways, women like Maha living in rural villages, are freer than their city-dwelling counterparts. In an absence of overwhelming wealth, country women find that they need to be able to fill a great number of roles. Especially in a family such as Maha’s, who’s only son is negligent in his duties, the daughter, Maha, needs to handle even the manual labor to keep the farm running. Maha demonstrates her attachment to her home by exhibiting a touching level of devotion and care.
The ceremony consists of a coffee drinking ritual during which the groom’s family, usually represented by the father of the parties involved, asks for the young woman as a wife for his son. The father of the daughter, or in the absence of such an uncle or other male family member, will need to approve it or refuse the petition.
The wedding night illustrates an important aspect of marriage: the necessity of female virginity. It is an issue that is not private as it is in much of western society, but a communal one. The entire village waits outside of Harb and Maha’s window for proof of Maha’s virginity: a piece of cloth dabbed in blood. She becomes practical when Harb is unwilling to hurt her: “They will not leave us alone until we hand them a piece of white cloth dripping with blood. If we don’t get that piece, they will think that I am not a virgin. My family’s name will be tarnished forever.” (45) Such a tangible piece of evidence is needed to satisfy the village and this exhibits how external a girl’s virginity is. The honor of a family is tied up in the purity of their daughters, such that girls simultaneously hold a great deal of power yet because they are such a big threat, they face severe restrictions on their rights. A girl, by the actions that she chooses to take, can singlehandedly destroy the honor of her family, something that is taken very seriously in Arab society.
Though Maha has very much chosen her husband herself, the official gesture is still between men, which is tells a great deal about the societal structure. Although women by and large exercise casual freedoms, the official sphere is still male-dominated.
There a second character in the novel Pillars of Salt, Um Saad. Um Saad, a married woman who is arguably in a much worse state than Maha, tells her story alongside that of Maha, providing a stark contrast. Um Saad lived in urban Amman, the capital of Jordan. Almost every aspect of her life acts as a foil for Maha’s experience. It may be that the difference in environment, between urban and rural settings, is the reason for such different social situations. Um Saad has a completely different relationship with her father from that of Maha’s. This in turn affects her marriage and from there on, her entire life.
While Maha and her father enjoyed a very open and respectful relationship, Um Saad’s father does not allow Um Saad to have any say in her own life, and expresses his discipline violently. As a result, Um Saad’s marriage is not much better. Her father marries her off to a local butcher because it is practical and ensures free or discounted meat to her family.
On one hand, marriage is an escape route for many Arab women. It is their ticket out of their household, which may be repressive. However, it is more likely that a marriage, unless it goes against the grain of parental approval, will perpetuate the same sort of life for these women. In Um Saad’s case, she goes from the household of her abusive father, to the household of her abusive husband with virtually no say in the matter. This is the other pole of the marriage spectrum in her specific country and era.
The last figure in Pillars of Salt is Nasra. Nasra is a girl that holds a position highly anomalous within Arab society. She is an orphan and lives in the village more or less at the charity of its community. There are two factors that determine the fact that she is most likely unable to marry. From the way she speaks, it seems as if she has an abnormal psychology. The way she forms her sentences leads one to believe that she is somehow mentally ill or otherwise abnormal. The second factor is that she has been raped by Maha’s brother, Daffash. This means that she is no longer a virgin, even though it was forced upon her. The sheer fact that she is no longer a virgin physically is all the evidence that is needed; she is unfit for marriage.
The narrator in A Woman of Five Seasons, Nadia, is a middle aged married woman. She has at her disposal many privileges that were beyond Maha’s horizon. The novel is set in Barquis, a fictional gulf state that replicates many of the same social dynamics as an oil-rich country in the Gulf area. There are many ‘new money’ men who have made fortunes speculating on the burgeoning oil trade. This fosters two distinct social situations. Firstly, the gap between the wealthy and the poor grow larger as individuals are able to make incongruously large salaries by working with western companies. Secondly, the competition amongst the upwardly mobile society in such countries becomes more intense and there is a very showy quality with which people handle their money.
There are very few details about Nadia’s life pre-marriage. Ilhsan’s older brother Jalal was in love with Nadia, but because Ilhsan voiced his feelings first, Jalal stepped back. In Arab families, the first son is expected to make sacrifices for the sake of both his parents and his siblings. He has the duty of ensuring that his siblings are happy and taken care of before he can attend to his own business. In this manner, Jalal lets his younger brother marry the woman he loved, even though Nadia secretly preferred Jalal.
The difference between Ilhsan and Jalal is that Ilhsan is concerned with business and moneymaking, while Jalal is driven by his upstanding political ideology. Nadia is more drawn to Jalal’s morality, but she does not have much say in the matter. If she does not accept Ilhsan’s proposal, she cannot expect to receive one from Jalal, and remaining unmarried past a certain age was something to be avoided.
To an outsider, Nadia’s marriage could be considered successful. Her husband, Ilhsan, through luck and skill, has become financially successful, allowing her to lead the kind of life she does. She does not have a job, nor is she expected to contribute at all to the household. She travels from city to city in Europe, shopping and exploring museums at her will. However, she reveals her desperation at being stifled intellectually by her husband. Ilhsan prefers his wife to read anything but the serious, political, and sometimes feminist discourses she is fond of. She says with frustration: “He took that good book from my hands and put stupid magazines in their place, and I read them!” (33) He habitually replaces her academic books with fashion magazines, encouraging her to read stereotypically feminine material instead.
Dreams of Trespass is set in Morocco in the middle of the twentieth century. The narrator of the novel is a young girl. As a child, Fatima has two particular advantages as a narrator: she is able to report observations without many preconceived notions, and she is not yet old enough to be caught up within it.
What Fatima learns about married life she learns mostly from watching her mother and grandmother. She lives within a harem in urban Fez, where there is a rich culture with traditional boning. Her mother is illiterate, but a vocal champion of women’s rights. Although her status within the household is stable and inalienable, she officially defers to her mother-in-law. Her husband, Fatima’s father, is caught between his mother and his wife, in the age old predicament.
Her mother has gained many privileges from having married a successful man, as is also the case with Nadia. She lives very comfortably with many luxuries such as western cosmetics at her disposal. She has never needed to worry about sheer survival. Like Nadia, what Douja is primarily concerned about are women’s rights.
Since the novel does come from the point of view of a child, Fatima is unable to report about her mother’s life before marriage. However, Fatima has two female cousins that are slightly older than she is, so she is exposed to both sides of the institution. As girls grow older, they become seemingly single-minded. They are only interested in the subjects of love and marriage. Hours are devoted performing magic spells to make a young man fall in love with them.
Fatima’s older cousin Chama is vocal and creative. She expresses her frustration at being restricted due to her gender through plays put on for her family and passionate arguments. At the same time, she does not renounce traditional feminine roles. She flirts with the family of boys that live next door as ardently as she rages against masculine superiority. Marriage, however, is never targeted as an institution that perpetuates female inferiority and is never considered a tool of feminine repression.
The particular era of the mid-twentieth century lends itself very well to social change. The traditional harem family is threatened by the younger generation of women who do not want to share their husbands like their grandmothers may have. Women like Fatima’s mother Douja want to break of the harem to live independently with their husbands in their own households. However, keystones like Fatima’s grandmother act as social adhesive to perpetuate this cultural institution.
Fatima and her cousins like play a game in which they pretend that they have, by their startling beauty, power over men. They have many strong female roles models upon which to mold their own characters. Each wife within the harem exerts some tangible amount of influence upon their husband. This is not true of many of the other novels, in which men are not usually swayed by feminine opinion.
The protagonist in the last novel, In the Eye of the Sun, Asya, embodies the same kind of modern liberalism as Fatima’s generation has begun to pronounce. Asya is well educated in Cairo’s school system with girls from families of similar socio-economic level. Her parents are very accomplished: her father is a national minister and her mother is a professor in the prestigious University. All these attributes reflect upon Asya, as is the usual situation amongst upper-class academic families.
Though Asya grows up during the very end of the twentieth century, marriage is still part and package of the norm. It is perhaps important to remember that it was not until very recently even in the United States that it become socially acceptable for a woman to live a full life without marrying or bearing children. In Egypt, it was still highly unusual to begin a political or public career before getting married. It is only after a woman is safely married to a man that she can begin speaking out without societal backlash.
This is quite different from the western conception of marriage as the end of a woman’s career. It is why many women in Europe and the United States choose to focus solely on their careers first, establishing themselves within their fields. There is an ongoing debate about the benefits and drawbacks of balancing a career and family without shortchanging each sphere. A great number of women believe that it is better to marry and start a family only when they can devote themselves fully to it, and so it becomes a step taken, if ever, after their professional success.
The women within Asya’s world have mastered the ability to juggle both family and profession without delaying either. If one needed to take precedence, it would probably be family, since not all of the women have jobs, but all have families. Women who wish to pursue professional lives like Asya’s mother Lateefa undertake childrearing and working simultaneously. Asya’s mother was able to bear and raise several children while also working on her doctorate degree, a skill that made a strong impression on Asya. Her perception of the feminine was thus not limited to domestic pursuits in the way that many of the other characters tend to be. It was possible and impressive to balance a family and career and the socially elite young women of Cairo were well versed in this philosophy.
III. The Source of Her Power
When women marry, many come into freedoms and powers they did not originally possess. They are no longer barred in some societies from walking in public with a man, which is strictly taboo for unmarried girls. They can be outspoken about their cause without worrying about frightening off prospective husbands. Many women find their voices within the security of their marriage that gives them the courage to speak publicly about politics or social change.
The question this section explores is the source of that power. Where do women derive their newfound influence from? Again, one of the most important things to remember is that the answer, in line with the rest of the analysis, differs from case to case. From country to country, era to era, and person to person, the circumstances are overwhelmingly important in dictating if and how this power is manifested.
Still, there are careful conclusions that can be drawn from the experiences that are depicted. One source of power that can be identified is the husband. Since in Arab society, it is customary for the husband to be the main provider, much of the status and wealth of a woman is dependent on who she marries. This is particularly enunciated amongst the upper classes, which is very conscious of differences in socio-economic level. Women living in rural areas experience less pressure to make an equal match because members of the same village or town often share similar standards of living. Smaller rural areas are by function a more tight-knit community, so everyone is intimately aware of each other’s circumstances.
In larger cities, however, the disparities between rich and poor are more pronounced. Even small differences, like the slight difference in status between Asya’s family and Saif’s, are large enough issues to provoke severe fractures. The indicators of such a difference are small, such as Saif not having a German shepherd as a pet and living in a one story house, but Asya picks them up and interprets them as such. The language of socio-economic status within affluent urban settings is subtle but powerful.
Asya marries Saif despite this slight difference because she has faith in his professional skill. Saif is trained as an engineer, a career that is highly respected in Arab societies, partially because of its close association with highly lucrative opportunities in the oil industry. By making such a decision, although it is beyond question that Asya’s decision was ruled heavily by emotion, she is pragmatically securing her own comfortable future.
Indeed, by all tangible indicators, Asya’s well supported by her husband. Saif does in fact begin working in the oil industry in Damascus, Syria, where he is very well compensated for his work. He can afford for Asya to live comfortably in Europe, and has the means to travel and visit often. Financial issues rarely come up, since Asya is also supported heavily by her parents. Through these two comprehensive sources, she derives her ability to live comfortably while completing her doctoral studies in London.
In A Woman of Five Seasons, Nadia, who is reminiscent of an older Nadia, is supported in a similar fashion. Like Asya, she marries a man that secured the financial safety of her future. Her husband, Ilhsan, is very economically driven, determined to become more successful than his brother-in-law. He succeeds in many of his business ventures and is able to provide Nadia with a whole array of expensive things in an attempt to pacify her ambition.
Nadia, however, is geared towards another philosophy. She feels more rapport with Ilhsan’s politically engaged older brother, Jalal. Jalal is idealistic while Ilhsan is pragmatic. At several pivotal points during the novel, she expresses her disgust for Ilhsan’s wealth oriented ambitions, and instead embraces Jalal’s high-flown ideology, saying “How often I’ve wished Ilhsan was like Jalal! If I’d married Jalal, surely he would have understood me better. Jalala’s cultured, different, altogether.” (35) She is sympathetic to his cause and admires his commitment to it. To Nadia, Jalal has integrity and is doing more important work than her husband, despite all the luxurious items Ilhsan provides. Her husband’s efforts to placate her by surrounding her with inconsequential trinkets further inflame Nadia.
However, she has made her decision and is conscious of the fact that she must live with it. Though she is not happy in the intellectually empty life that her husband provides for her, she bears it. Nadia struggles emotionally throughout the entire novel with her desire to leave him. Even after Ilhsan is unfaithful to her, she does not publicly severe ties. This illustrates the strength of marriage, a quality that it has lost with the influx of divorces in western societies.
Depictions of women who have chosen political compatibility over financial security are also presented in the literature. Asya’s sister Deena in In the Eye of the Sun is the counterpoint to her own marriage. Deena, who is younger, chose to marry a politically active member of the revolutionary party without any concern for their economic future. She did so against the wishes of her family, but ultimately made the final decision.
The young couple struggle through the fledgling years of their marriage, exacerbated by the jail time he must serve for his political stance. In contrast with Asya’s comfortable life in Europe, Deena’s life seems bleak, especially when she writes to Asya to ask for her in publishing accounts of the torture her husband suffered in prison: “It may be a naïve thought but perhaps you could do something?” (32) However, as the novel progresses and Asya struggles more and more with her own empty marriage, Deena’s decision becomes more and more justified. The level of devotion she shows to her husband and family are intimately tied to the fact that she shares his political conviction and regards the difficulties worthwhile.
The parallel lives of Asya and Deena illustrate the consequences of selecting a husband. Nadia’s situation further echo how a woman’s life is heavily affected by the spouse she chooses. In this way, women that have a say in who they marry possess an intrinsic power over the course of their own lives.
The foil to such situations lies within the first novel, Pillars of Salt. The secondary narrator Um Saad had no choice in her own marriage and the penalties of such circumstances follow her throughout the years. Her father forced her to marry a butcher, a man that remained dependably indifferent to her opinions and needs throughout the years. Um Saad had no opportunity, unlike Asya, Nadia, and Deena, to decide which path her own life was to take, and this lack of say manifests itself powerfully throughout the rest of her life.
Another important foundation upon which Arab women rely is their own families. Women traditionally become a member of their husband’s household. However, as illustrated by the treatment of Douja by Fatima’s paternal grandmother in Dreams of Trespass, wives often remain an outsider not fully integrated into his family. While admonishing Douja for childish romping through the courtyard of their harem, she reminds Douja that she is a stranger within the family, that she still carries her parents’ name. As Fatima observes of her grandmother: “You know, Madame Tazi,” she would call out, using my mother’s family name to remind her that she was a stranger in the family.” (232)
In exchange for becoming a full member of her husband’s family, women receive unparalleled support from her own. The family and the daughter do not severe ties once she marries. Douja is actively represented by one of her own male relatives in family discussions, such as whether to transfer the children to a public school. Pains are taken to ensure that her interests are looked after and vocalized by her own family, and their role is accepted with respect by Fatima’s father’s family.
During times of trouble, women can also look for care from their own families. This gives many women a genuine advantage in that they have options. Women looking to escape abusive husbands often can return to their household and take refuge. A widowed woman without children is at the mercy of her own family, not her husband’s family. Divorced women, such as Fatima’s aunt Habiba, often return to her own house for support.
However, there is clear evidence that intervention from the wife’s family, which is markedly different from support, is only made in very rare occasions. Although Asya was hysterical in her desire to leave her husband Saif and return to her own house, her father was just as adamant about her remaining with her husband. There is still heavy emphasis on keeping a marriage intact. This shows very clearly the strength of the institution in Arab societies.
IV. Children
There is another source from which women derive their power, and it is inherent to their biological role. They bear children, and so they are intrinsically involved in the family legacy. Their fundamental role in ensuring family longevity, a cornerstone of familial custom, gives them great influence and power. The ability to produce children, especially male, is highly valued. It influences in many cases the treatment the wife receives from her husband’s family.
Maha wanted very much to conceive a child with her beloved husband Harb, and went through many painstaking rituals to become fertile. Her mother-in-law was predictably very involved and supportive, if not slightly push, of her endeavors. Maha goes so far as to cauterize her stomach to exorcise any malicious spirits within her. When she finally does give birth to a male child, both she and her mother-in-law rejoice, an experience that strengthens their relationship.
However, there are definite exceptions to the generalization that children strengthen a wife’s position in her family. Most outstandingly, this is illustrated by Um Saad. She gives birth to five sons, a feat that is usually applauded, but in return, receives nothing but more mouths to feed. Her opinions are recognized by neither her husband nor her sons. She fulfills one of the fundamental qualities of the traditional female paragon, but in her situation, it does not matter at all.
As women age and children grow, their influence becomes more pronounced. One of the most striking examples of powerful wives is Fatima’s paternal grandmother. While she defends the harem, she also one of the most structurally powerful characters studied. Due to her maturity and status as one of the oldest individuals in the family, she is able to influence many of the younger members of her family.
Her son, Fatima’s father remains in the harem though her wife implores him to leave and live independently. Although he is sympathetic to her sorrows and abets her subversion as best he can, he is firm about staying. He states that “as long as [his] mother lives, I wouldn’t betray the tradition”, speaking about harems. (77) This shows the strength of her influence.
When generations cycle, women who were once considered outsiders in her husband’s family become the matriarch. Since her children now constitute the majority of the family, she is an integral part that commands quite an amount of respect. Within Dreams of Trespass, a great deal of ceremony is paid to the matriarch. Douja must stop by her grandmother’s house after the bathing ritual to pay her respects. The younger women in the household manifest their small freedoms subversively, knowingly going against social custom, but publicly, they cannot flout the matriarch.
This rigid system of hierarchy is only so exhaustively manifested in a structure like an urban harem. Fatima’s maternal grandmother, who in her rural harem lives within limits that more flexible. This corroborates with the general relaxation of restrictions and procedure in outside the urban setting. The wives of her Grandfather Tazi subvert each other with little observance of maturity and rank. Her grandmother names a fat duck after the first wife, a position that would command more respect in an urban environment. The wives are not expected to adhere as tightly to respectable codes of behavior. They can ride horses, perform manual labor, and engage in other ‘masculine’ activities without fear of public derision. An integral quality of her rural harem is that there is no public to supervise behavior.
Hierarchy within extended families is also a quality that is quite dated. It corresponds best to early eras, such as the mid-twentieth century setting of Dreams of Trespass. Novels that are on the modern do not emphasize hierarchy nearly as deeply. In fact, many narrations such as that of Asya feature as little deference to the older generation as is the norm in western societies. The evolution of societal norms ruling marriage leads to young married couples starting their own households instead of remaining with the husband’s family. This modern independence means that parents have less influence over their children, and this in turn decreases the length of time mothers have control.
As always, there are always accounts that stray from the norm. The far removal of Nadia’s children in A Woman of Five Seasons from her daily life is a rare instance in Arab families. More often, children define parents to the point of being identified as Um Saad, which literally means ‘mother of Saad’. In contrast, Nadia’s three young children are hardly ever mentioned and are cared by the nannies they employ.
V. The Politics of Marriage
As mentioned earlier, one factor that may play a large role is a common political doctrine. It can sometimes act as a powerful glue to hold a marriage together in the face of trouble. Deena’s emotional rapport with her husband in In the Eye of the Sun is a positive example of how seriously politics is taken. She is able to build an emotional satisfying marriage even though her husband spends most of his time in jail. Because they share a common philosophy, they are more deeply devoted to each other because they have mutual respect.
In modern Arab societies, of which Cairo is an example, there is an aura of integrity that accompanies politically active individuals. This is very different from the contemporary western politician who is notoriously unethical. Dirty campaigning and the necessity of catering to specific contingencies dilute the ideological conviction of politicians in the United States in particular.
The politician in many of the countries examined represents a paragon of morality. The ideal politician embodies the philosophies of the party to which they are loyal. Although there are many affluent politicians that dominate policy especially within the Gulf States, many of the revolutionary leaders fighting against elitist or colonial authorities are idolized for their purity and indifference to financial stringency. Deena and her husband lead ascetic lives filled with moral and emotional satisfaction.
Politics is also a powerful career choice for a woman, even in an older era. Public figures in Dreams of Trespass influence the mentalities of the harem women. Mythical characters such as Princess Scheherazade set examples of feminine strength, intelligence, and power that the younger generation such as Chama admires. Because the region is so politically charged, almost every public figure becomes involved in some aspect of politics.
For a married woman, politics is a risky but ultimately acceptable career. Young unmarried women face tall obstacles to being successfully vocal and influential. Married women are in a way protected from criticism of indecency because they are respectably married and thus sexually secure and unthreatening. They pose no threat of dishonor to their families, so they are relatively free to express their opinions.
This, of course, is not to say that they do not face significant social opposition, but instead of being criticized for their gender, they are generally engaged in discourse about their ideologies. In one of the videos in the series viewed, politically active women who champion the right of women to have jobs are murdered by men who firmly believe that women belong in the domestic sphere. Women in politics fight an uphill battle but the dialogue is more open than one would assume. Although it is far from equal, the presence of powerful female thinkers illustrates a specific quality of modern Arab society.
There is an unspoken recommendation for being politically active that vibrates through all the novels. Given the politically active nature of these countries, it is a fair requirement of members of the academic elite to be politically aware at the very least. Women are active in embracing the party ideals tend to live fuller, happier and more satisfying lives. Deena is again a strong example of such, taking much comfort in her politics. Nadia lives her life wishing that she had chosen political compatibility over financial security, and had married Jalal instead of Ilhsan.
However, politics is also a very delicate dedication, one that is often at odds with the financial success. Again, this deviates from the western politician, who compromises his ideology for monetary support. Arab politicians such as Jalal, who are faithful to their doctrines, run a high chance of being corrupted. Since politics is by and large not a lucrative profession, the temptation of economic security is strong. In contrast to Ilhsan, who has the ability to buy anything he fancies, Jalal is struggling to get by. Finally, his iron integrity buckles. Jalal changes courses and begins smuggling firearms for money.
As illustrated in A Balcony over the Fakihani, politics relaxes the social code in Arab societies. Constant war, for the huge toll it takes on emotional health, also affords women a type of freedom. Because family structures are so unstable due to death, women face fewer structural restrictions when it comes to determining their own life.
VI. Unconventional Permutations
Just as there are exceptions to every other rule, the manifestation of marriage is also not singular. The conventional structure of husband and wife living peacefully together stands as the standard, but as illustrated by the accounts in the novels, other forms of marriage are just as legitimate.
The first variation is the widow. The circumstances surrounding her dictate how she will be treated. Whether or not she has children by him and how old she is are two important factors. For example, Maha, who is widowed only months after her marriage, remains an well connected to her mother-in-law because she has borne his son. However, it is clear that her place is rightly with her father, and he eventually asks her to return home.
The age at which a woman is widowed is also very important since she is at different stages of being integrated into her husband’s family. A young wife, who has not spent much time with her in-laws may very well return to her own house, especially when there are no children to anchor her. However, as women age, the likelihood of becoming a widow naturally grows. When husbands die of old age, their wives are probably established in a matriarchal position already. Like Fatima’s paternal grandmother, whose husband has passed away, she is secure in her position in the harem. She can count on the care and support of her grown children.
Divorce is a trickier situation in Arab society. It is frowned upon and is usually considered the last resort. In stricter societies, it may not even be customarily possible, although with the rapid modernization of urban areas, mindsets are changing. One of the more common reasons women are divorced is their infertility. A woman’s ability to bear children is considered one of her cardinal qualities. A woman that has difficulty conceiving a child, even thought the physiological problem may lie with the man, is considered lacking in her fulfillment of her wifely duties. Although it is controversial, many believe that a man as the right to take up to four wives, a right that is magnified when his first wife cannot produce an heir.
When Maha is having trouble conceiving a child, she in her desperation tells Harb that he can marry a second wife to have the child he rightfully deserves. This is one option the husband has. The second is to divorce her, and the last is simply to accept her condition and embrace it. Divorce is often considered the most dire of the three because a divorced woman has nearly no rights at all. She cannot marry again and must rely the mercy and magnanimity of her own family.
In Dreams of Trespass, Fatima’s beloved Aunt Habiba is a divorcee. Within the family hierarchy, she occupies one of the lowest rungs, only slightly above the lot of servants. She must defer to Fatima’s grandmother in all things, even in the embroidery patterns she chooses. She has no voice, and her opinion is worth less than any other female member of the family. She has no children, so there is nothing to tie her to her ex-husband’s family. Due to her age and her status as a divorcee, she cannot marry again; divorced women are considered unfit wives for one reason or another and so are not considered suitable.
A woman’s ability to request divorce is only granted on rare occasions. In instance of particularly cruel violence from the husband, she may be granted divorce. However, in cases of infidelity, a silent separation is often preferred over an official divorce. Even when Nadia finds out that Ilhsan has been unfaithful to her in In the Eye of the Sun, she does not immediately make it a serious issue. She does not leave him even when he ultimately fails his business, choosing instead to cope with her situation as best she can. Even when Asya begs her father to allow her to return home, he remains firm on the necessity of her remaining with Saif. Divorce and to a lesser degree, unofficial separation are truly frowned upon in Arab society, no matter how modern the country.
The last striking permutation of marriage explored is the harem system. This structure is obviously dated and generally out of use today, but the underlying issue of polygamy is still widely debated. Despite the Qu’ranic guideline of only taking another wife if one can support and care for all her needs, the system of having multiple wives is highly stratified in power. Without a doubt, the first wife wields the most power.
The strict system of the harem has been phased out since the mid-twentieth century. The last generation to partake in the custom of having several wives was that of Fatima’s grandmother, though even Asya’s best friend Chrissy’s husband takes a second wife in the 1990s. Douja and aunts are vocally insistent on a woman’s right to be the only wife to her husband. Although the harem system allows the matriarch to exercise a great deal of power, different perceptions of the role of wives are apparent from generation to generation. Younger women such as Douja and cousins develop new ways of exercising influence without needing to be bolstered by second and third wives that must defer.
Conclusion
If there is any coherent conclusion that can be confidently drawn, it is that the institution of marriage in Arab culture is not one that represses women. Depending on how it is expressed, a good marriage can provide all sorts of support for women. It allows women explore their identities beyond simply being the guardian of family virtue as is the case with unmarried girls.
After marriage, a woman in Arab society is able to establish herself. In older generations, this meant that she would slowly start to accumulate influence and power based on her seniority and the children she bears. In more modern permutations, young married women have chosen to start political or business careers, but in all these cases, marriage is a pre-requisite.
Many of the social customs that surround marriages tend to favor the husband. For example, it is still considered highly problematic if a bride does not become pregnant within a few months and even more so if she is definitely infertile. In these cases, he has sufficient cause to divorce her or take another wife where permitted.
Even so, marriage is by-and-large an experience that allows women to express some control over their own lives, when they have some say over their choice of husband. By establishing her own household, a married woman becomes the master of her own sphere. Although a fair number of marriages continue to limit the ambitions of women, it also provides a foundation upon which women can build their careers and philosophies.
Books Cited:
Al-Atrash, Leila A Woman of Five Season (Northampton: Interlink Books, 2002).
Badr, Liyana A Balcony over the Fakihani (New York: Interlink Books, 1993).
Faqir, Fadia Pillars of Salt (Northampton: Interlink Books, 2004).
Mernissi, Fatima Dreams of Trespass (New York: Perseus Books, 1994).
Soueif, Ahdaf In the Eye of the Sun (New York: Anchor Books, 1992).