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The engagement period usually lasted from three weeks to a few months long. This period of daily courtship was almost always supervised under the watchful eye of a chaperon, usually the lady's mother. A young lady was expected to show reserve in the presence of her fiancé. She must not display earnest affection or he would doubt her modesty and virtuosity. A woman was never to go anywhere alone with a gentleman without her mother's permission. She was never to go out with a gentleman late at night. In fact, it was considered extremely impolite for a gentleman to stay late at a woman's home. A gentleman could only call on a lady with her permission. When saying good night, the lady was never to go farther than the parlor door, instead, a servant would see her suitor out. In a sense, the engagment period gave rise to the courtship rituals which allowed the future bride and groom to become more acquainted.
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Finding a mate for marriage is a ritual the Bourgeois embraced with care and scrutiny during nineteenth-century France. Family and friends usually are the matchmakers. Most young people meet through charity sales, sporting events, and balls. The bals blancs were debutante balls to which only the eligible men and women were invited. These balls were called blancs because young ladies, making their debut into society, dressed in white to symbolize innocence and virginity. (Perrot, 311) The rituals of courtship really begin with
the announcement of the engagement. A friend or matchmaker is
usually involved as a go-between for the man who wished to marry
and his future wife's parents. Once the parents of the future
bride accept the proposal, the suitor officially becomes the
fiancé. Before the suitor's first visit to his fiancée's
home, he sends a white bouquet. He would send flowers every day
till the wedding if he were wealthy. He might even send flowers
to his future-mother-in-law too.
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