Music Hall Songs

Working-Class Culture in Industrializing Britain

Working Class Culture, 1870-1914: Music Hall Entertainment

["Hello! Who's Your Lady Friend?] ["You Can Do a Lot of Things at the Seaside"] ["I Live in Trafalgar Square"]
["My Old Dutch"] ["Girls, We Would Never Stand It"] ["Sidney the One-Week Wonder"] ["Follow the Van"] ["The Row Upon the Stairs"] [Honey Pie]

"Let's All Go Down The Strand" [go to sing along version]

One night a half 'a dozen tourists

Spent the night together in Trafalgar Square.

A fortnight's tour on the Continent was planned,

And each had his portmanteau in his hand.

Down the Rhine they meant to have a picnic

Til' Jones said, "I must decline--"

"Boys you'll be advised by me

to stay away from Germany--

What's the good a' going down the Rhine."

"Let's All Go.....cont.

Let's all go down the Strand -- Have a banana!

Let's all go down the Strand!

I'll be the leader, you can march behind.

Come with me and see what we can find!

Let's all go down the Strand -- Have a banana!

Oh! What a happy land.

That's the place fer fun and noise,

All among the girls and boys.

So let's all go down to the Strand. [top]

"Let's All Go Down The Strand" [go to sing along version]

One night a half 'a dozen tourists

Spent the night together in Trafalgar Square.

A fortnight's tour on the Continent was planned,

And each had his portmanteau in his hand.

Down the Rhine they meant to have a picnic

Til' Jones said, "I must decline--"

"Boys you'll be advised by me

to stay away from Germany--

What's the good a' going down the Rhine."

"Let's All Go.....cont.

Let's all go down the Strand -- Have a banana!

Let's all go down the Strand!

I'll be the leader, you can march behind.

Come with me and see what we can find!

Let's all go down the Strand -- Have a banana!

Oh! What a happy land.

That's the place fer fun and noise,

All among the girls and boys.

So let's all go down to the Strand. [top]

"Hello! Hello! Who's Your Lady Friend?" [go to sing along version]

Jerimiah Jones, a ladies' man was he,

Every pretty girl he loved to spoon.

Still he found a wife along beside the sea,

Went to Margate for the honeymoon.

But when he strolled along the promenade

with his little wife just newly wed,

He got an awful scare when someone strolling there

Came up to him and said:

"Hello! Hello! Who's your lady friend?

Who's the little girl by your side?

I've seen you with a girl or two.

O! O! O! I'm surprised at you.

Hello! Hello! Stop your little games.

Don't you think your ways you ought to mend?

It isn't the girl I saw you with at Brighton.

Who? Who? Who's your lady friend? [top]

"I Live in Trafalgar Square"

Today I've been busy removing

And I'm all in a frigidy-fidge.

My last digs were on the Embankment -

the third seat from Waterloo Bridge.

But the cooking - and O! the attendants -

Didn't happen to suit me so well.

So I ordered my man to pick up

And a'look out for another hotel.

He did - and the new place is extra, I vow.

Where I'm staying now.

I live in Trafalgar Square

with four lions to guard me.

Fountains and statues all over the place,

And the metropolis staring me right in the face.

I'll own it's a trifle drafty,

But I look at it this way, you see:

If it's good enough for Nelson,

It's quite good enough for me.

The beds ain't so soft as they might be,

Still, the temperature's never to high.

And it's nice to see the swells who are passing

Look on you with envious eyes.

And then when you wake in the morning,

Just fancy how nice it must be,

To have a good walk for your breakfast

And the same for your dinner and tea.

There's many a swell up in Barclay tonight

Who'd be glad if he only had my appetite. [top]

You Can Do A Lot of Things at the Seaside" [go to sing along version]

Have you ever noticed when you're going by the sea,

The things that people do with impunity?

If they did the same things when they're up in town,

Moral Mrs. Grundy on her face would wear a frown.

Father, Mother -- all the family --

Trundle down to have their paddle by the sea.

Mother takes her stockings off upon the sandy shore,

And shows a lot of linen that she's never shown before.

You can do a lot of things at the seaside

that you can't do in town.

Fancy seeing Mother with her legs all bare,

Paddling in the fountains at Trafalgar Square,

Bobbing up 'n down in the water

Would make a policeman frown. [top]

Courtship and Marriage

"Girls, We Would Never Stand It" Marie Loftus

When first they come courting, how nice they behave,

For a smile or a kiss, how humbly they crave

But when once a girl's wed, she's a drudge and a slave...

I think we would all prefer marriage with strife

Than be on the shelf and nobody's wife. [top]

"My Old Dutch" Albert Chevalier

I've got a pal,

A reg'lar out an' outer,

She's a dear good old gal,

I'll tel yer all about 'er.

It's many years since fust we met,

'Er 'air was then as black as jet,

It's whiter now, but she don't fret,

Not my old gal!

We've been together now for forty years,

An' it don't seem a day too much;

There ain't a lady livin' in the land

As I'd `swop' for my dear Old Dutch!

"My Old Dutch".....cont.

I calls 'er Sal,

'Er proper name is Sairer,

An' yer may find a gal

As you'd consider fairer.

She ain't a angel - she can start

A jawin' till it make yer smart;

She's just a woman bless 'er 'eart,

Is my old gal! [top]

Satire - "Sidney the One-Week Wonder" Vestat Tilley

Sidney's holidays are in September,

He's been saving up since last November,

His get-up is a sight you must remember. Naughty boy!

He sits upon the pier and hears the band out,

For he tells the girls such whoppers,

And he's counting out his coppers,

My word, he is a naughty boy. [top]

The Hard Life - "My Old Man Said, `Follow the Van'" Marie Lloyd

We had to move away

'Cos the rent we couldn't pay

The movin' van came round just after dark;

There was me and my old man

Shoving things inside the van,

Which we'd often done before, let me remark...

My old man said, "Follow the van,

And don't dilly-dally on the way!"

Off went the cart with the home packed in it,

I walked behind with my old cock linnet.

But I dillied and dallied, dallied and dillied,

Lost the van and don't know where to roam.

I stopped on the way to have the old half-quartern,

And I can't find the way home. [top]

Neighbors and Squabbling - "The Row Upon the Stairs" Joe Wilson

Says Mistress Bell Mistress Todd,

"Ye'd better clean the stairs!

Ye've missed yor turn for manny a week,

The neybors a' did theirs!"

Says Mistress Todd to Mistress Bell,

"Aw tell ye Mistress Bell,

Ye'd better mind yor awn affairs,

An clean the stairs yor-sel."

Chorus

Oh what tungs i' the row upon the stairs,

Clitterin, clatterin, scandal, an' clash,

I' the row upon the stairs.

Syas Mistress Todd - "When it suits me

Te think that it's me turn;

Ye've a vast o' cheek te order me

Thor's not a wummin born

That keeps a cleaner hoose than me;

An' mark ye, Mistress Bell,

Ef ye'd oney do the syem as me

Ye'd gan an' clean - yor-sel!"

Says Mistress todd - "Ye greet sk'yet gob

Ye'd better had yor jaw,

The vary shift upon yor back

Belangs the wife below!"

"Ye lazy wretch!" - shoots Mistrss Bell,

"It's true, thor is ne doot,

Last neet ye fuddled wi' Bob the Snob,

The time yor man was oot!"

"Og, Mistress Bell!" - says Mistress Todd,

"Ye brazind-luckin slut,

Ye may tawk away - te clean the stairs

Aw'll niver stir a fut!

Afore as'd lift a skoorin cloot

The mucky stairs te clean,

Aw'd see them turn as black as ye,

Ye pawnship-luckin queen!" [top]