Mary Fanelli

Big Mom on Campus
USA Today - Life, May 9, 1996
By Karen S. Peterson
South Hadley, MA

Fifty-year-old Janet Field will spend Mother's Day this Sunday studying in her spartan room at Mount Holyoke College. Jan intends to finish her course work in time to graduate in 1997 with her daughter, Carrianna, 20, also a junior at Mount Holyoke.Janet Field (left) and daughter Carrianna FieldA former Peace Corps worker in Micronesia, Jan is a work in progress. The mother of three grown children returned to school in 1995 to acquire what she saw as a missing piece of her life: a college degree. "I was raised to be the perfect wife and mother," not a student, she says. And back then she had no money for college.

As she treks toward her liberal arts degree, with a major in psychology, Jan finds most everyone's image of her is changing. And that includes her image of herself. "We women have such trouble with this thing called self-esteem," she says. "I am much more satisfied with myself as a woman now."

Carrie, as she is nicknamed, is delighted her mother is a scholar. "I am just so proud of her. Mom has always been intellectually curious, but she has never had an intellectual life," Carrie says. "Now she is getting a chance at what I have always taken for granted: college."

Some daughters might be underwhelmed by the thought of attending college with Mom, but Carrie leapt at the chance, though they don't room together. "I spent my junior year (of high school) in Germany," she says. "It is almost nice to have her here so we can be together. ... I am very independent. She has always given me lots of space."

They are, Carrie says, truly friends. "If there is one person who can understand you, it's your mom."

And besides , her mom does her laundry. "I always ask her if she still wants to, and she always says yes," Carrie says.

These two deliberately don't spend all that much time together. "It's not like she asks where I am if I stay out until 4 a.m.," Carrie says.

Jan laughs, "She can stay out until 4 a.m.! I could never do that."

Most often, they get together to transfer the car keys. "We have one car. Usually I just walk," Jan says. They keep track of each other by e-mail.

Although in general they avoid classes together, the Fields did take one psychology course jointly last semester. "Our professor would get our names confused," Carrie says. "I thought that was cute."

They readily admit they are competitive about grades. "If my (grade) isn't as good as hers is, I can deal with that, Carrie says. "But if I get a better grade, she'll be all upset." Carrie has a double major in German and psychology.

Jan notes that so far she has the better grade point average, but Carrie is gaining. "See what having your mother here does for you!" Jan laughs.

Today Jan is wearing black jeans and a while blouse and a green sweater, the same type of campus knock-abouts as Carrie. On a tour of the school founded in 1837 -- it's one of the USA's oldest women's liberal arts college's -- Jan points out that her own bare-bones dorm room is quite different from Carrie's.

Carrie's room is modern and airy, with posters of President Kennedy, Wonder Woman and Thelma & Louise, plus two TVs and assorted sports paraphernalia. Jan's room in utilitarian, 80-year old Dickinson Hall has virtually no personal touches other than photos. "My life is not all in this room," Jan says.

Indeed. Her husband, Bill Field, 54, an attorney home alone in Chelsea, Vt., "is wonderful," Jan says. But "he is lonely. He likes me to come home on the weekends." And, "When I come in the house, the laundry and the cooking are all done."

Her husband's image of her is evolving too, Jan says, as she is molded in this feminist environment. She worked for him at home, before he joined a law firm. Now she feels more like his peer.

"Our relationship has changed. He has always been incredibly intelligent, and I was the one with the social graces. Now I'm willing to take a stand, even if he disagrees."

Carrie thinks the change is "really neat." And she thinks it something of a hoot when Dad stays overnight on campus. "All my friends say it's like Mom has a date!"

Mom is attending Mount Holyoke thanks to its Frances Perkins program, named after the alumna who became the first woman Cabinet minister, secretary of Labor, in 1933.

"FPs" fulfill the same requirements as other undergrads but are over 25 [as this web page was created, in May 1999], 24 is the minimum age] and are usually finishing an abandoned college career. More than 60% have attended a community college. All must convince Mount Holyoke they can carry a full course load. Jan had enough credits from Norwich University in Northfield, Vt., to enter here as a sophomore.

But other FPs have "a problem adjusting." She runs workshops in Dickinson to help moms get into the academic swing again.

Currently 160 FPs are enrolled at Mount Holyoke [at the time this article was written for USA Today; [see our Student Profile web page for more current data]. The fee is hefty: The school's tuition alone is $21,250 [at the time this article was written]. Both Fields work on campus, and each receives modest financial aid.

Their money buys an education at a small, women's liberal arts college noted for academic excellence, a 10-1 student-teacher ratio and 800 acres of woods, lakes and English gothic architecture. The Princeton Review calls it one of the most beautiful campuses in the USA.

Mount Holyoke is one of a handful of women's college's in the USA with full-time residential students for nontraditional students.

The Fields are not the only mother-daughter team to come here at the same time. Mary Fanelli, now 56, and daughter Ann Croft, 23, graduated together in 1995. Mary, who majored in philosophy, now works in the college's communications departments and audits Italian for fun; her daughter runs a hotel dining room in Fort Lauderdale.

Like Jan, Mary Fanelli has changed in both her and her children's eyes. "My kids had always thought of me at home gardening and baking bread, but never as a scholar," Mary says. As Ann, her fourth child, left for Mount Holyoke, Mary decided, "It was my turn. Everybody had gone to college but me. I had never had the time to just read."

Ann, who earned a teaching degree, says she actually got to know her mother at Mount Holyoke. "I had always seen her as more of a mother than a person. I came to realize what a good writer and thinker she is. She is extremely focused and driven."

Both Mary and Jan still put their role as mother first. "I am so glad I spent the time I did with my kids," Jan says. But she also frets, "Who in this society truly values the (mom at home) no matter how well she is doing her job?

When she graduates, Jan wants to join a nonprofit firm, somehow working with adolescents. She tried the nonprofit route before, but decided she would forever be typing up somebody else's ideas.

Now things are quite different. This time around, I have more confidence. I will be ready for the challenge."