//Title: Didn’t Come

//Author: Melfina the Blue, psychogenius@poetic.com

//Pairing: Aragorn/Legolas

//Rating: PG

//Summary: Elessar looks back and regrets a choice

//Warnings: um, mushy? Song fic.

//Author’s Note; Song is “Don’t Know Why” by Norah Jones. Anything in italics is song lyrics. Everything else is inner monologue.

//Scene: an old King Elessar is sitting on his throne, while minstrels sing for him. He looks worse than Theoden did.//

I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I spent the entire night in thought. You were right, and you knew it. Damn insufferable elf, always right. I don’t ever expect you to understand it. I certainly don’t. I watched you and Gimli ride away, and something inside me died. The sun glinted off your hair, the same hair you were always cursing. It made me laugh to think of it, you shoving it out of your face as you searched in your pack for something to hold it back with.
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

If I live to a thousand, I will never understand it. “Come with me, Aragorn. Come with me to the Undying Lands. I cannot bear to live without you.” Your impassioned words, the tears in your eyes. And I agreed. How could I not?

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away

And yet, when it came time to leave, it was so hard, so very hard. She had given me her heart, given everything up for me. How could I destroy her like this? How could I give my heart to another? I wished then to be gone. To be anywhere else.
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

I was with her when the last of her people, your people went. She collapsed into the sand and her tears fell like rain. I wondered then if she had regretted her choice. I hope not. I have regretted her choice enough for the both of us.

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever
Even the best of wines don’t compare to your taste in my mouth. The sweet intoxication of you. I’ll never forget that taste. Just the slightest hint of it drove me insane. And you loved to tease me about it. Talking about my cannibalistic streak. Well, the truth is it was like a drug. You were like a drug. And it took all the strength I had and more to stay.
Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy

I go to the sea, now, with the children. Or maybe it’s the grnadchildren now. I can’t remember which is which anymore. I look across the sea, and wonder where you are, what you are doing. Do you miss me, Legolas? Do you miss me as much as I do you? Then how did you leave? Do you know that the thought of you still drives me mad?
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road along
That was certainly my choice. To die. But I never wanted to die like this, Legolas. Never slide slowly into decrepitude. I think Theoden looked better when we first saw him than I do now. I can’t remember my grandchildren’s names, nor what month it is, nor sometimes even what year. But the memories of you are evergreen. In the late autumn of my years a spring bloom, one last green leaf to cling to.
My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Something has to make you run

That is why you didn’t stay. You couldn’t bear knowing I had chosen her over you. It was never that, I swear. I thought, you, of all people, would understand choosing duty over love, though it destroys you to do it.
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum

I am empty. Old and empty and alone. Why did you desert me, my love, why?
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

Legolas. I will never know.