This isn’t a bio, more of a random collection of aim profile quotations and away messages. I figured this gives you enough of a glimpse into my sick and twisted mind. And the banner is temporarily here till I figure out where to put it.

QUOTATIONS AND RANDOM AIM PROFILE BITS

"Tacitae magis et occultae inimicitiae timendae sunt quam indictae atque apertae."

‘Silent, hidden enemies are more to be feared than those openly expressed.'

Never postpone committing violence you are inclined to commit at once. Later on, you might not be as pissed off.-Sith Handbook

"Most thieves go in for black magic, but white magic is very handy. You wouldn't believe how many times I've cast Seduction on a guy, and walked off with his wallet while he's staring at (as my friend once put it) my bouncy bits. And if he tries anything, well, his dangly bits are mine."-Alhana Bluerose (my rpg character, an elven thief)

"I specialize in the redistribution of wealth. Your wealth becomes my wealth. You'd just fritter it away on useless stuff a smart merchant talked you into buying anyway. So I'm doing you a favour."-Alhana again

"With great power comes great opportunity to abuse that power."-8 bit theatre

What my degree is good for, Pretty Pictures with atoms

"Damn it all to shiny!"-me yesterday(after learning that hell in German means shiny. I think it shows how exceedingly stressed out I was that I found that hysterical)

"Hi Lizzie, it's Karen."-Lizzie leaving a message on Karen's machine

Why I majored in Physics-temporary insanity coupled with a love of take-homes and open-book exams. It is somehow comforting to know that the universe is actually as screwy as I think it is.

You aren't allowed to look confused yet. We haven't started physics-Janice Hudgings(direct quote from my advisor)

Anything having to do with you is a painful, agonizing torture which leaves me psychologically scarred and terrified that your race was given the right to vote under our current system of government. Now go away.-Sith Academy story (no clue which one) this explains how I feel about most of the human race. And yet I’m not antisocial. Go figure.

"So, you see, the story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may be, is the story of their struggle to get a better look at our bottoms."-Coupling

"I wasn't aware you had assessed my breasts individually."

"You were asleep. I was bored." –Coupling (I can so see one of my friends doing this. I have scary friends. But very nice ones.)

"I intend this breast satirically."-Coupling

Apparently I have a shiny spleen that wanders around my body singing weird songs. (info from one of my friends, who isn’t usually scary. I think my moments of extreme scariness may be rubbing off on her. Oh, dear!)

“My sleeves are entertaining.” (Yup, stress causes insanity. And that quote is the proof.)

AWAY MESSAGE TEXTS (includes random quotes) All bits in Italics are random explanatory bits that were added by the editor (me).

1. "Please do not drink while playing Icewind Dale II. The monsters will take advantage of your intoxicated state and leave you tied up naked on your friend's front porch." Sounds like a challenge to me, but not one for today. (and I can’t remember if I’ve tried that yet. Remind me to do that soon. When I’m not on massive doses of flu medication that’s making me spacey.)

2. "Hobbits are easily distracted by food, sex, and a good pipe." Subtract good pipe, add cute guys, and add in everything not having to do with homework, and you have most of us at this moment. Just don't forget the shiny things! Like cake. This random bit of insanity brought to you by the letters ADS and the number cake. I mentioned the cake, right? I am pretending to clean, but actually playing on Erulogos. (Erulogos is the name of my computer. And I don’t remember about the cake. But I didn’t get one for my birthday this year. SIGH!)

3. All hail to thee, great gods of Physics. I'm in Kendade. (the new science center)

4. Lord of the Rings rules! Mel needs to follow Orlando around next year, and Lea gets a big hook to drag people off the stage if they talk more than 2 minutes. Ooh, and Ian McKellan should have gotten best supporting actor. As for what I'm currently doing, who knows? (Written after the Oscars last year. LotR was so robbed. And Ian, you had my vote. You rule! Best wizard ever!)

5. I am looking for or at pretty pictures of Legolas. Damn, he's cute. Why can't I be an elf? Or a wizardess. I'll take either and I really want to hear him sing. Um, maybe I've crossed the line into obsession here. I should really look into that, right after I go "OOH! Pretty!" some more. (very obsessed. But I have come to terms with that. And, gods help me, he is so so so gorgeous.)

6. I am not available because I am casting fireballs or raising the dead or turning into a werewolf to kick some serious butt. Man, Diablo II rules!

7. Ooh, redecorating. I swear, there is no better way to procrastinate. Except for educational TV. And when you combine the two, man it's good. And I have puppy pictures on my wall! Yea! Puppies!( See picture on the index page)

8. Quantum Mechanics on 4 hours of sleep. And then there's the take-home. This is not going to go down in history as one of my better days. (as I recall it wasn’t. Hysterical laughing while deriving formulas is generally frightening to all concerned. It is also a very good way to evacuate the physics lounge.)

9. In an attempt to secure good grades for the semester, I am sacrificing stuff to the great gods of physics. All hail thee! Just so you know, resistance is futile. The physics people have taken over the world. The rest of the world just hasn't noticed yet. Come to think of it, I may be the only one who realizes this. But it's still true. And if Shattuck burns down, I had nothing to do with it. (And the scariest thing is, I still think this may work. I just need a sentient sacrifice. Hmm. Does anyone know if my German prof counts as sentient? Oh, and Shattuck was the physics department building. MHC stole it, gave us part of Kendade, and gave it to the English department. But we’ll get it back. It’s radioactive. And, no, I’m not kidding. It is. The bathroom stall walls are twice background. And yes, I know that’s not anywhere near dangerous, but the English department doesn’t know that.)

10. “Everyone keeps hitting on me. Cannot cope. Off to Mordor.”-Frodo

Now why isn't this my life? I'd much rather cope with the Fellowship hitting on me then vector calculus. Oh well. Back to the studying.

11. I am a female combo of Legolas and Gandalf. Dude! I am hot shit! I'm also Athena. And a Ravenclaw and Amelia. Okay, I don't get the last one. Maybe I'm just too nice. But the Legolas and Gandalf one I like. As to where I am, I dunno. Watching TV, learning how to throw daggers, reading the Necronomicon, practicing my waterballs, reading the Sith Academy Handbook, or studying quantum mechanics. Eccentric yup. Bizarre yup. Insane, probably.

12. Life lessons from the Sith Handbook

Never postpone violence you are inclined to commit at once. Later on, you might not be as pissed off.

There are some things that squick even a Sith lord.

Without caffeine, Sith are not morning people. Ever.

Prophecy: Thou shalt avoid thy Master's comely son like the plague, as he shall maketh thy brain turn to mush and thy loins like unto iron.

I guess this means I'm not a Sith. Oh, well. I still get to be head of engineering. And the master's comely son is mine, even if he did grow a beard. If you're wondering where all this comes from, go to the Sith Academy and be enlightened. Or be driven insane. Location unknown-me (After coming to the conclusion that engineers die as often as red shirts, I think I’ll be a Science Officer instead. As to why I’m not captain, there is no way I’m insane enough to get on a ship that has me or someone like me in charge of it. Janeway can be in charge. I’ll just be the science officer and try to get Harry Kim into bed.)

13. Attempting to develop a career. I don't suppose I could be a professional slacker? (And I still haven’t developed one. Would anyone like to hire an insane, extremely bright but unmotivated physics major possessing verbal skills?)

14. I have been forced to serve the Physics Gods once again. Or possibly the Gods of Boredom. It depends. Gotta love class.

15. I am escaping from a universe that is out to kill me by throwing myself into the arms of my subconscious, which is also trying to kill me. Not the best idea, that. Oh well, guess I'm just screwed. I hate stress and MHC and most of all, German, which no longer exists in my reality, because it is evil. Once I wake up, I plan to do something vaguely productive like work on my piece, or possibly get my Minuet and Trio out of my head before it drives me nuts. Bet you didn't know I wrote a minuet and trio. (yup, I compose music as well. Are you scared yet? And I think I should be able to get out of German by arguing that I write poetry, fanfics, regular stories, and music, and am a physics major. If I get any more well-rounded, I’m going to be a sphere.)

16. Hard drive space? I don't need no stinking hard drive space. Oh, wait, yes I do. COME BAAACK!! Damn it, now where'd you go? I'll find you if it takes all day! Erulogos won't work without you. (My hard drive space vanishes regularly. Probably something to do with Kazaa and Morpheus. Thank the gods for CD burners.)

17. horror movies =Me laughing my head off at all the stupid soon-to-be dead people. Darwinism rules!:-D (and yes, I do actually laugh. Even the Ring didn’t scare me. Startled, yup, scared, nope. Reality is so much scarier.)

19. icing. Finally figured out why I am injured so much. Damn excess mass. Wander by if you want me, cause I ain't walking anywhere.

20. Okay, the pile has engulfed half my room and is starting to move of its own volition. Time to do laundry. Now where did I put the bat and gas mask?

21. Glorfindel so horrified by pointy hat trick he would not stop sobbing spasmodically until was calmed by liberal application of hobbit weed. New generation of elves such wimps.

Everyone finally arrived for party -- oh wait, I mean boring-ass Secret Council Meeting.

Loud giggly splashy noises emanating from first floor bathroom. No one can get in. Legolas practicing his nancing in the meeting hall, Boromir hanging about the shards of Narsil, obviously hoping Aragorn will show up, and Gandalf still breaking in new pointy hat. Tried to have a quiet think in the garden only to discover someone had dug up all the carrots. Is there no peace to be had?

I love these. In case you couldn't tell. I have no idea where I am, so I'm probably trying to figure that out now. (YAY for the Secret Diaries!)

22. I have been attacked by the fanfics again. Goodbye, rational logical me, hello, giggling fangirl. But only over the elves. Damn, why can't I have an elf? Other than their nonexistence, there is not one good reason. Yup, I've lost it. Blame it on the paint fumes. Stupid construction workers. If you want to join the insanity, go to libraryofmoria.com and Eru help you.

23. I'm doing homework. And Aragorn still doesn't bathe. And Gandalf's hair isn't curly anymore. sigh. I liked Gandalf w/ curly hair. But the ents are cool. And you get lots of bloody battles and more Arwen (huzzah:-P) now if only there's nude scenes involving Legolas, I'll be happy. (random two towers comments based on the picture book)

24. Wheel nap! Yay for the Mad Bagpiper! Sleep is good and um, I can't think of a way to end that sentence. So sleep! (and yes, MHC does feature a Mad Bagpiper. He’s either the head of the Observatory, or the head of the astronomy department, or possibly both)

25. net surfing during a thunderstorm. Is there anything more exciting and stupid? I think not.

26. Gauss's law is attacking again. And it's joined forces with Ampere's law to cause maximum pain. So I must defeat them both before they destroy my GPA. Anyone seen my sword? (unfortunately, with much help from Deutsch, they did defeat my GPA. Stupid infinite integrals!)

27. Killing random evildoers. Wheel! I love computer games! Great stress relievers.

28. Brain dead. RIP. Gone bye-bye. Going to wander into the Dreamlands to find it. If you see it, grab it. I've got all my info in it.

29. I am solving the time-independent Schroendinger's equation. Doesn't that sound like fun? Since my alter-ego is too busy with fan fics to deal with our quantum mechanics homework, I guess I’ll have to. Never send a wizard to do a physicist's job. (this makes much more sense once you realize that one of my aim people is a wizard, Melfina the Blue, and one is a physicist and insane. No, wait, they’re both bits of me, and I’m insane, so they’re both insane.)

30. food or alcohol or movies and physics. Or possibly a combination of the above. But probably not the combo of alcohol and physics. Not a good idea that. (But papers and alcohol are a wonderful combination. Well, at least for me. I don’t think it’d work for anyone who doesn’t write in proper grammar automatically. If you’d had as much grammar drilled into you as I had, you’d be able to do it too.)

31. I want to be a wizard, cause then I could ask "Answer me or I'll turn you into a frog," questions. Plus, then I'd know the pointy hat trick. Of course, I'd only use it for good. Or other fun things. Some of which might not count as good by the strict definition of Christian morality, but oh well. Since I'd be a wizard, I could just turn anyone who complained into a toadstool. Heehee! :-D I'm in bed, debating whether the evil cheerleader should die and whether I'm going to get to sleep at any point soon. (the evil cheerleader is noisy and annoying and lives above me. Maybe I should use her as the human sacrifice)

32. I am either working or staring out the window. Hopefully, I'm working. (knowing me, I’m not.

And because I’ve been promising to put up this list for aeons now…

Top Ten Reasons I should be an elf

1. I like archery.

2. I like accumulating knowledge and learning stuff. Especially quantum physics. (Ooh, elves and quantum physics. That sounds like an entertaining combination. Maybe I could make their heads explode just with the concepts. Weell, maybe not explode. But I bet I could make them do anything I asked if I threatened to tell them about it. Ooh. Hot elves at my mercy. I like that idea!! )

3. I like to sing. And I do it frequently and I am good at it.

4. Legolas

5. I can act superior. When I want to.

6. I am way too observant of nature. (my friends will testify to this. I think they may be getting rather tired of my “OOH! Look at the pretty sky/moon/tree/whatever!” comments)

7. I have light skin and I'm tall. (Well sort of tall. I think 5’8” counts as tall if you’re female) And I have light hair and blue eyes.

8. I want to live at Rivendell.

9. Because I could spend weeks dreaming while awake. (I already do. I just need to close my eyes first.)

10. Because I want to be one, Damn it! (my most compeling reason. Now I just need to figure out how to bend Reality to my will. Shouldn’t be too hard. After all, we each define our own reality. I just need to define mine in such a way that elves exist and I am one. It could happen.)