BLACK KNIGHT:
     Aaaagh!
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Aaagh!
GREEN KNIGHT:
     Ooh!
     [stab]
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Aagh!
GREEN KNIGHT:
     Oh!
     Ooh! Uuh.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Aaaagh!
     [clang]
BLACK KNIGHT and GREEN KNIGHT:
     Agh!, oh!, etc.
 

GREEN KNIGHT:
     Aaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!
     [woosh]
     [BLACK KNIGHT kills GREEN KNIGHT]
     [thud]
     [scrape]
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Umm!
     [clop clop clop]

ARTHUR:
     You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
     [pause]
     I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
     [pause]
     I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.
     [pause]

     You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
     [pause]
     You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     None shall pass.
ARTHUR:
     What?
BLACK KNIGHT:
     None shall pass.
ARTHUR:
     I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Then you shall die.
ARTHUR:
     I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT:
     I move for no man.
ARTHUR:
     So be it!
ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT:
     Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
     [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]

ARTHUR:
     Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR:
     A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT:
     No, it isn't.
ARTHUR:
     Well, what's that, then?
BLACK KNIGHT:
     I've had worse.
ARTHUR:
     You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Come on, you pansy!
     [clang]
     Huyah!
     [clang]
     Hiyaah!
     [clang]
     Aaaaaaaah!
     [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]

ARTHUR:
     Victory is mine!
     [kneeling]
     We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Hah!
     [kick]
     Come on, then.
ARTHUR:
     What?
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Have at you!
     [kick]
ARTHUR:
     Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR:
     Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Yes, I have.
ARTHUR:
     Look!
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Just a flesh wound.
     [kick]
ARTHUR:
     Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Chicken!
     [kick]
     Chickennn!
ARTHUR:
     Look, I'll have your leg.
     [kick]
     Right!
     [whop]
     [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT:
     Right. I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR:
     You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Come here!
ARTHUR:
     What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT:
     I'm invincible!
ARTHUR:
     You're a looney.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
     [whop]
     [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT:
     Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR:
     Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT:
     Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!