Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
who was very rarely stable.
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy
beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.
And Whittgenstein was a beery
swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nieizsche couldn't
teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently
pissed.
John Stewart Mill, of his own
free will, after half a pint of shanty was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick
it away, half a crate of whiskey every day!
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger
for the bottle,
And Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken
fart:
"I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly
missed;
A lovely little thinker, but
a bugger when he's pissed.