Nudge, Nudge
                                 

The cast:

     MAN
          Eric Idle
     SQUIRE
          Terry Jones


The sketch:

     Man: 'Evening, squire!

     Squire: (stiffly) Good evening.

     Man: Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?

     Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon?

     Man: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?

     Squire: (flustered) Well, she sometimes "goes", yes.

     Man: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?

     Squire: (confused) I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.

     Man: Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!

     Squire: Are you, uh,...are you selling something?

     Man: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay? (pause) Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!

     Squire: Well, I, uh....

     Man: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?

     Squire: Um, she likes sport, yes!

     Man: I bet she does, I bet she does!

     Squire: As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket.

     Man: 'Oo isn't? Likes games, eh? Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She's been around a bit, been around?

     Squire: She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale. (pause)

     Man: SAY NO MORE!!

     Man: Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!

     Squire: I wasn't going to!

     Man: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib? Is your uh, is your wife interested in....photography, ay? "Photographs, ay", he asked him knowlingly?

     Squire: Photography?

     Man: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?

     Squire: Holiday snaps, eh?

     Man: They could be, they could be taken on holiday. Candid, you know, CANDID photography?

     Squire: No, no I'm afraid we don't have a camera.

     Man: Oh. (leeringly) Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?

     Squire: Look... are you insinuating something?

     Man: Oh, no, no, no...yes.

     Squire: Well?

     Man: Well, you're a man of the world, squire.

     Squire: Yes...

     Man: I mean, you've been around a bit, you know, like, you've, uh.... You've "done it"....

     Squire: What do you mean?

     Man: Well, I mean like,....you've SLEPT, with a lady....

     Squire: Yes....

     Man: What's it like?