The following test questions from a California remedial driver-training class
reportedly are real. Incredibly, so are the answers, drawn from test taken by
drivers who had been cited for moving violations and ordered to attend the
Q. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A. What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q. Who has the right-of-way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A. The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people, I do."
Q. When driving through the fog, what should you use?
A. Your car.
Q. How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A. Be too blitzed to find your keys.
Q. What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A. I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q. What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A. I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A. The color.
Q. How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A. Heavy psychedelics.
Q. What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A. Carry loaded weapons.