Father Murphy

Money was tight for the small Southeastern New Mexico parish, so Father Murphy called a meeting of the congregation. They sat around thinking of ways in which to make money, and one of the fine parishioners said that folks who had race horses ALWAYS had money. They decided to purchase a race horse, and sent Father Murphy off to buy it.

Father Murphy had been a city boy all his life, and had only recently been assigned to this rural parish. Not knowing much about animals, he was talked into buying a burrow by a swift talking horse trader. Upon his return to the parish the good people of God were astounded. Father Murphy decided to put his trust in God and entered the burrow into the race at the local track on the coming Saturday. The burrow came in third. The next morning the sorts section of the local paper had headlines:

FATHER MURPHY'S ASS SHOWS

The Bishop of the dioceses saw this and called him up and said that this wasn't very good publicity, but Father Murphy convinced him to allow the burrow another try, since they needed the money so badly. He entered the donkey in the following Saturday's race, and it came in first. Next day's paper read:

FATHER MURPHY'S ASS OUT IN FRONT

The bishop again called Murphy and told him of his displeasure on reading the headline. Murphy convinced him once again that it was the will of God, and they burrow was entered the next Saturday. It came in second. Next day's paper headline read:

FATHER MURPHY'S ASS BACK IN PLACE


The bishop, upon reading this called Murphy and said that he had to get rid of the donkey. It was just too much publicity of the wrong kind. So Murphy gave the donkey to Sister Agatha.

The bishop called Sister Agatha and said that Murphy must have mis-understood him. What he wanted was the burrow out of the parish all together. That Saturday, Sister Agatha took the animal down to the local glue factory and sold it for five dollars.

Next mornings paper read:

SISTER AGATHA PEDDLES HER ASS FOR FIVE DOLLARS

They buried the bishop on Tuesday.