Voices From The Killing Fields

Many lives were lost in the hands of the Khmer Rouge. People who did survive to tell their stories were left with much guilt and other feelings that might affect them after the loss of so many lives. Survivors suffered the loss of family members, and forced labor, like my aunt and my cousin. They both lost family members. Many people lost family members. Some people reunited after several years of separation, but others lost their family members permanently. Some Cambodians have just begun to talk about the atrocities because revisiting the past was just too painful. There are some people who do want the world to know what happened to them in Cambodia. I ask around, mainly my relatives, because they were survivors. However, only two of them were willing to speak with me. I have family members who lived through the Khmer Rouge regime. I interviewed three people who are survivors of the Cambodian Killing Fields. My aunt and cousin have chilling stories to tell like many survivors out there today. I interviewed another person whom was willing to tell their story; he was a friend of my family. My first interviewee is my aunt; she was very interested in being interviewed by me and wanted to be video taped. She told me that she has a lot to say and hopes that I have enough tape. She also warned me that she might cry because is a really painful subject for an interviewee to talk about. I have written a few things they said about their experience under the Khmer Rouge. Here are their stories………………….

Aunt Khuth
(Om Khuth)___________________________

Before the Khmer Rouge took over, everyone was very happy. There was plenty of food to eat. I had everything that I need. Everything was plentiful.

The day that the Khmer Rouge took over, they came and ordered us to follow them and live in the woods. They told us to abandon all of our belongings and told us to come with them, they had a big store in the woods. I knew that they were lying; they went to the other house and said the same thing they said to us.

They forced us to work everyday and all day. We had only two meals a day. At noontime they gave us a tiny bowlful of rice and in the evening they gave us a small amount of salty water rice soup. They never gave us enough food. I was always hungry. I was so skinny and so weak, I always thought that one of these days, and I was going to die. There were so many people dying in front of me, I knew that I was bound to die. I had no hope for survival.

Many people I knew and did not know were killed and I heard their screams. I never saw the actual killings, but I did see the Khmer Rouge taking a couple people at a time, tying their hands behind their backs, I was too scared to look at time. I know that they were killed because; I could hear their screams and the gunshots sometimes. Everyone on my late husband's side was killed by the hands of the Khmer Rouge. All of them were killed.

The killers were boys and girls ranging from the ages of 9, 10, and 11 through 18 years of age. Some of them were older, but the kids they train to them to be in charge and cold-blooded killers. They don't even know how to read and write, the Khmer Rouge killed all the educated people. It was easier to manipulate and brainwash children then it was the educated.

It was on May 1977 that they took my husband away. They told me that he was going to be moved to a different camp. When the people who took him returned, they came and told me that they killed him on the way there and asked me if I was interested in going with my husband. I told them that I wanted to stay with my children. They order a woman to follow me and make sure that I did not cry. They threatened me that if I cry; they would kill me. I did not dare cry; she followed me everywhere I went. At night, I cried in secret. I was so sad.

When the Vietnamese came I was so happy, I thought that was a ray of hope that I needed. I thought after that, that I would survive. The Khmer Rouge told us that they were not going to let the Vietnamese kill us; they said that they were going to kill us before the Vietnamese kill us. I knew that the Vietnamese were not going to kill us; they were here to save us.

After that I went from different refugee camps all around the Thai and Cambodian border. I still think about the past. I think about it every night. I think about the happy times with my family and husband. I hope to see them again someday; I have dreams about my family and husband as well. I miss them very much.

Kung Kol___________________________

In 1974 before the Khmer Rouge took over, I had my family with me. There was my wife and my eight children. We were very happy, there was nothing bad going in our family.

My wife and children were in the farm working one day, then the Khmer Rouge came and chased them and the other workers on the farm that day. They tried to run very fast, but they were cornered. I am not sure, but they were taken to a field about 1 kilometer away from the farm. I don't know whether they were beaten to death or shot, but they are all dead. They kill the only family that I had.

I had to run too, but I was not at the scene of my family's death, I was working else where and I cam running home to find my family but they were gone. A friend told me later what happen to them. I always cry whenever I think about my children and wife.

I ran away only to be caught by the Khmer Rouge. They forced me to work in a camp with a group of people digging dirt and moving rocks. They worked us so hard and they only gave us a handful of rice. It was not enough food; many were dying. In some cases, I have heard that there were some acts of cannibalism. I have never seen it before with my own eyes, but I have heard that some people would have to bury people and when they go and bury the people, they would cut out the flesh and the liver to eat and stay alive.

After living under the Khmer Rouge for four tortuous years, I wanted to escape and I did escape with the help of the Vietnamese invasion. Everything was very chaotic at the camp. It was at night and the Khmer Rouge wanted to round up in front of a ditch and shoot them. I was forced to march with about 49 men; they tied our hands behind our backs with another man while having a stick between out arms. They did not tell us where we were going and we couldn't see where we were going but it was really dark. Only the light of the moon shone the scary event. They slid the throats of the men and had them bleed to death. Every one of them was killed through this act, everyone except for my partner and I. For some strange luck, out not was not tied tight enough so I began to break loss and set myself free. My partner and I ran as fast as we could, they kept on shooting at us and missed me but did not miss my friend. He was shot and killed, they shot me as well but shot the sleeves of my shirt, it caught on fire and I took it off and ran for my life. I kept on running and running until I could no longer tell that they were behind me, I ran until me feet could not run anymore.

I saw a few people that I knew on the way while escaping, my cousin I remember we met each other in the woods. He told me that he ran into a gravesite full of dead bodies, the people had jewelry on them so I stole them, he said. I went to go see the dead bodies and there was this whole field filled with dead bodies. I encounter my family's dead body. I knew that it was my family because I noticed a boy had a red handkerchief that my wife gave to him for his birthday. There were other children's' bodies as well. I gather the remains of my family and made a private and silent ceremony for them. I gather them and burned them.

Every time I think about the past, I start to cry because I think about the children who have died and my wife. They did not want to spare anyone, they killed my children and my wife, they couldn't even leave just one, they had to kill every one of them. The children were so small and innocent, I just don't understand, they never did any thing to hurt them.

I think about the word hate, I ask, why kill Khmer, the Khmer that don't hurt anybody, the Khmer that are your own kind, and the Khmer that are not your enemy? If they kill those that are old and are grown up like my wife who can think and act for herself, it is not as bad. It is the little ones who are innocent and don't know what is going on like my little one who is attached to his mother. They are like a vicious tiger, chasing its prey, and cornering its prey. There is nowhere to run but to face the vicious tiger and be killed. The children are but innocent lives.

Sakhoeun
(Bong Koeun) ___________________________

Before the Khmer Rouge took over the country my family was very happy. We had plenty of food to eat and we had a house and I was attending school. We had money; we had food, we had a farm and a good education.

The day the Khmer Rouge entered the city, I was really scared, I just did what ever they told me to do. It was chaotic, people were running and they kept on pushing us out of the city and chasing us until they got their full power.

They made us wear dark and dirty clothing. They only distribute one pair of clothing once a year. We had to tear our own clothing and make it look old and raggedy. To turn the clothing dark we had to put the clothing into the mud or get a plant leaf that would turn the clothing dark. If it was a white piece of clothing, we had to make it into black because we couldn't wear anything us but dark and dirty clothes.

They separated me from my family, I had another sister and a brother and my parents away from me. I was fourteen so they separated me from my family, anyone who was at a certain age they sent you to a different provinces or zones. I was placed into a team; we worked on digging the ditches and other agricultural duties. I had to work sometimes up to 12 hours a day straight. Every time I would miss my family or if I was sick and wanted to go and see my family, I couldn't go and see them. I was no allowed to travel anywhere except to be with my team.

Everyday I always had thoughts of dying because there were so many people dying in front of me due to starvation and fatigue from the force labor. I always think that I am going to die shortly, because the situation that I was in, I was not going to make it.

One time they put me in a prison for a couple of days without food because I refuse to do what they say. They wanted me to marry a man that I did not even know, and he was much older than me, I did no want to marry him so they put me in a jail.

For four years I had to suffer a lot living under the Khmer Rouge, I was separated from my family and I was forced to work till my body could not work. It was not until the Vietnamese came when I had hope of living and seeing my family again.

When the Vietnamese came, the Khmer Rouge pulled me in and gave me a weapon to shoot at the Vietnamese with them. I did not want to shoot at anyone so I escaped. I was alone when I fled, on the way from fleeing the Khmer Rouge, I met a few other people and stayed with them for comfort, but I had to find my family. I was very scared because there was gun shots everywhere, I was scared I was going to get shot because I saw other people get shot. I kept on running and running until I made it to the Thai border.

I received help at the refugee camps by the Red Cross, in the mean time I was also searching for my family. It was very difficult because there were so many refugees. It was not until the year 1982 that I reunited with my family again. They were at a different camp. I learn that I lost a father; my mother told me that the Khmer Rouge did not spare his life.

We stayed in the camp for another four years until we came to America.

Every night I think about my past. I have nightmares all the time I still suffer from the past. I cannot change the past so it still haunts me, it can never go away.

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