In a remote, serene village IN Bangladesh, Panchgachi in Kurigram, a girl of twelve plays the bride. Beauti ful and coy, she is nothing short of a bride--her lovely eyes outlined for enhancement and the bindi twinkling like a star on her forehead. Enfolded in her diaphanous wedding saree, she looks and probably feels like her favorite doll. It was only laast week thta she had married it off. Her friend were present and later they cooked in little pots and ate on little plates to celebrate the occasion. Today the girl's little owner is having difficulty being still and demure as expected of a bride. The doll could not feel, it was inanimate. The little girl cannot comprehend the enormity of her situation either.Then why does she sit silent, confused and uncertain, playing an unreal doll's part? Because...for her, marroage has become a child's play. It is shocking and incomprehensible, how in this day and age, a custom is stubbornly held on to and turned into a curse. Till today, in most parts of Bangladesh, girls are married before they reach their sixteenth birthday and sometimes even before the are ten.

The custom of 'marrying off' the daughter of the house as early as possible has ageold roots. Tradition and culture have given women the stereotypical role of a docile homemaker without any ambition or desires of her own. In the process, women has been l;ooked upon as a burden to be 'taken off' her parents' shoulders through marriage. It goes beyond this. Marriage itself is not viewed as a lawful, equally binding partnership between a man and a woman, but more often as a mere means of perpetuating a woman's dependance on a man. The society proclaims that a woman cannot live without a man to lean on, which leads to marriage being an escape from insecurity and vulnerability. Her life is considered incomplete, useless even, if she is not married. Since marriage still remains the best option a woman can ask for, the earlier a girl is married, the better. If not the only one, this is the most dominant factor behind child and early marriages.

In Gaibandha, wedding celebrations are underway--a couple performs the ritual of finding hidden treasures ina muddy hole, full of water. The one who finds it first will be deemed lucky and clever. While the couple continues their search, children dance and sing their playful songs. But, the women sing the sadness of a bride leaving behind her parents' home to make her own. Amidst cheering and merriment, emerges the bride Jamuna, barely fourteen years and married for twelve hours. Soon she is being carried to her new house by her sister-in-law. With her, her childhood and happiness are untimely carried away.

Early marriages being an old custom, the societal attitude concerning it have not changed with time either. In an age, when fairness still equals beauty, the girls born fair are considered beautiful, and are married at even an earlier age than others. In the village of Churamokanthi, 8 km from Jessore, is the neighborhood of the Hindu untouchables called Rishi-para. Here, 125 families live neck to neck in deplorable conditions. Most young girls wear bangles known as 'Shanghkha' as a symbol being married. In many Hindu communities, a young unmarried girl is considered to be a harbinger of bad luck and so should be married off as early as possible.

Deepali, a twelve year old girl from Churamonkanthi studied in school till second grade when a marriage proposal came for her. She sums up her life in a few words---"People say I'm very fortunate to have been born so fair, so beautiful. My problems had no problems finding an eligible husband for me. Unlike my dark cousin Maya, who is thirteen and still unmarried! I also don't have to go to school anymore, but Maya, she has to go to school till she gets married." What Deepali and her fellow villagers fail to realize is that Maya 'unattractiveness' ha been a blessing in disguise. It is what has kept her still in school.

A young unmarried girl's security can be haunting in a poverty-stricken communities. The transition from childhood to adolescence is often the worst phase of their lives, and they areleft open to exploitations and assaults. In Ulipur, Hasina's mother had no other option but get her daughter married. A young suitor wanted to marry Hasina. He threatened her mother that if her hand in marriage was not given to him, he would kidnap her daughter. Being a single mother, she gave in to his demands, fearing social disgrace. when Hasina became a bride, she was only in fourth grade.

According to Ain O Shalish Kendra, a legal aid and human rights organization in Bangladesh, these marriages are more prevalent in city slum areas. One of the main reasons is the development of romantic liaisons between young girls and boys which trigger a feeling of constant fear among the parents for their daughter's security and reputation.

The situation worsens as the girls have no right to think independently about marriage. The decision-makers are themselves shrouded by illiteracy and therefore resorts to superstitious beliefs. Shatvita in Kurigram, is the home of yet another child bride, Jhumri. Jhumri's illness would not subside. Her parents sought the advice of the villagers and found a groom ( Jamal ) for her with the hope that the touch of her husband could heal her. She is now eleven and has been married for two years. Another coupe, Kushum and Ashraful, were married to satisfy Kushum's mother who though that she was dying . Her last wish was to see her daughter get married. Her daughter, still a child, was married with much haste. But, Kushum's mother did not die. She is well and begging on the streets of Dhaka city.

Marriage is not only unquestionably compulsory, but is also an urgency as with Morsheda of Gaibandha. Her father terms her as a good daughter as she always helps him with chores. But, his only disappointment lies in the 'harsh' fact that he is not receiving any marriage proposals for her. "She is already fifteen!" he exclaims. "Who will marry her now?" In the villages of Jamuna, girls over the age of fifteen are considred too old for marriage. Morsheda has a fellow-sufferer from the village of Hasdhara , one of the many islands of Jamuna. Shukhjan is the daughter of a single mother and also crossing the 'suitable' age for marriage.. Her mother works as a day laborer and is striving to collect dowry money for her. Shukhjan does not go to school. She has to look after her younger siblings and perform household chores while her mother is away at work.

While referring to child or underaged marriage, we too often take it for granted that the victim is a girl. Though the number of girls getting married earky clearly exceed the number of boys, boys as victims of child marriages have little or no avantage ovcr their female counterparts. Kadim fromKurigram explains why his parents arranged his marriage so early--"I am fifteen and I've just finished third grade. My parents don't want me to study anymore. They think that it's time for me to find a job. I've looked for jobs but couldn't find any yet. So they decided to get me married. They think that I'll be more serious about earning money if I have a wife and children to feed."

Child marriages , moreover, are not restricted to poor families. There are cases where minor girls from middle class families have been married off. One case documented by Ain O Shalish Kendra is of a 13 year old girl being married to a 23 year old man in the city's Hazaribagh area. The girl's family is from a middle class background. The bride's mother did not want to miss the opportunity of a well-to-do son-in-law.