AUGUSTINE:  PILGRIMAGE OF THE SOUL (PLOTINUS; THE PRODIGAL SON)

1.18.28: Prodigal Son

1.9.15:  Adults play games as foolish as children, but are not punished; adults cruelly punish children & have no pity.          

1.18.28:  I was far from you in a region of unlikeness...a prodigal wasting his substance.

2.1.1.:  Gather me from that disordered state in which I lay in shattered pieces, wherein turned away from [God], the One, I spend myself upon the many.

2.2.2:  I wandered farther away from you, and you let me go.

3.6.11: Prodigal Son wandering amid husks of Manichaeism ; he was seduced by a woman who found him dwelling outside himself in his fleshly eye

3.1.1:  The way away from God is providentially seasoned with gall.

3.6.11:  (W/ Mani) I wandered from you...but you were more inward than my inmost self; superior to my highest being.

4.7.12:  I remained an unhappy place where I could not abide and from which I could [not] depart.  For where could my heart fly to...apart from my own self?. 

4.14.23:  In my pride, I wandered off...but secretly, I was ruled by you.

4.15.26:  I was driven back because the Lord resists the proud; madness to think man is by nature what God is; like a wind I did not return to you;  was an exile; I had gone astray of my own accord and to err and now its own punishment.

4.16.30-31:  I had my back to the light and my face toward the things on which the light fell; I wandered far away from you into a far country, so that I might waste it all upon lust and harlots.  Confess perversity and return.

5.2.2: Whither do the wicked flee when thy flee from your face?; they withdraw themselves from our gentleness and fall upon severity; be converted and confess: Where and when did I seek you? You were before me, but I had departed even from myself, and I did not find myself, how much less you.

5.13.23: Ambrose welcomes him on his pilgrimage

6.1.1. I sought for you outside myself , but did not find you, God of my heart .

6.5.8:  I wavered back and forth; I wandered; you did not forsake me

6.16.26:  fear of death and judgment is all that draws him back; love of friends keeps him tied to the world; he loves them for their own sakes, but cannot see that virtue could be loved for its own sake; proud soul fell away from God and turned and tossed, but all places are hard, for God is the only rest.

 *7.10.16: mystic vision:  see unchangeable light; is beaten back “far from you in a region of unlikeness”. . .you will not change me into yourself, as you change food into your flesh, but you will be changed into me.”  I am who am; doubt ends.

7.21.27:   One thing to behold a land of peace & find no way; another, to be .ambushed

8.6.1:       Lost drachma.  Prodigal son.

9.13.37:  Fellow citizens in that eternal Jerusalem, which your pilgrim people sigh after from setting forth even to return

10.4.6: You are all my goods, you are with me even before I am with you. Companions pilgrims on the journey

10.40.65:  (End of Pilgrimage through self-examination and memory.)  I entered into the recesses of my memory...myself was not you.  You were that light I consulted concerning all these things....my refuge.  I can find no safe place for my soul except in you.  In you may my scattered longings be gathered together and from you may no part of me ever depart.    

 

DESIRE FOR GOD [SATIETY VS. EMPTINESS]

 

1.1.1:  My heart is restless until it rests in you.

2.10.18:  I became a wasteland (cf. T.S. Eliot).

2.10.18:  I long for innocence and justice.  [What it means to love something spiritual; to love ideals=Platonism.]

3.1.1:  (The itching sore of discontent.)  The more empty I was, the more distaste I felt...ulcered, the soul is cast outside itself and is avid to be scratched by the senses.

4.12.18:  You seek the happy life, but it is not there.

6.6.9:       Beggar and he happy life.

10.6.8:  What do I love when I love my God?

10.27.38:  Late have I loved you.

 

PROVIDENCE

 

2.2.3:  [God] turned to good use the fleeting beauties of those lowest things... you have the power to pluck the thorns that have no place in paradise.  For your omnipotence is not far from us, even when we are far from you.

2.2.4:  Seasoned pleasure with gall to teach a lesson; smites to heal.                                                            

3.1.1:  The way away from God is providentially seasoned with gall.

6.3ff.  Ambrose.

7.20.26:  (His education & experience has a purpose and order toward his salvation.)

8.3.8:  (God has ordered the world so that) greater joy is preceded by greater suffering and 8.4.9: the weak confound the wise.  [=Dialectical thinking.]

8.12.28-29:  "Tolle, lege", the mysterious voice from the garden triggers his conversion (Rm. 13.13.-14).

IDOLATRY/FORNICATION: ENJOYING THE WORLD, INSTEAD OF USING IT (UTOR NON FRUOR)             

 

1.12.19:  Secular studies: satisfy the insatiable desires of rich beggary and base glory.

1.17.27:  Was this my true life?  (Secular praise, a sacrifice to fallen angels is made in more than one way.)

1.20.31:  Not in God, but in his creatures in myself and others did I seek pleasure, honor and truth.

2.6.14:  Evil is fornication and rebellion against God.

3.1.1.:  The more empty I was, the more I itched.  [Sin=festering wound.] Pleasures bring their own punishments which are galling.     

4.6.11:  Loved his friend as if he would never die.  (Only God, who can never be lost should be so loved.)

 

CONTINENCE

 

7.7.11:  By serving God, one could subdue the body, but when I would rise up in pride against you, it would rebel.

8.7.17:  Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

10.29.40:  By continence we are gather together and brought back to the One, from whom we have dissipated our being into many things.

 

NATURE OF GOD/ MATERIAL? SPIRITUAL? (MANICHAEISM)

 

1.6.10:  God is supreme being and life, the source (changeless and eternal).

4.15.26:  Why does God let the soul err?--I would rather see God was necessitated to err than confess that my mutable nature had gone astray of its own accord and that to err was now my punishment

5.10.18:  I thought it was a different nature that sinned.  Evil as a substance.

5.10.19:   I did not know God except as a corporal mass for I thought anything not a body could not exist.  THIS WAS THE GREATEST AND ALMOST THE SOLE CAUSE OF MY INEVITABLE ERROR.  Evil has to be a substance and mind a subtle body, Christ could not be polluted by flesh

5.14.25:  Still unable to foil Manichees in conceiving of a spiritual substance

6.3.4:  understands that “man is made in the image of God” is meant spiritually:  God is not confined to space, but man is. Still cannot figure out what a spiritual substance is.

6.11.18:  Catholic faith does not teach what we once thought; God is not limited by the shape of the human body 

7.1.1:  Still could conceive of no substantial being except such as those one sees with eyes.  He believes that God is incorruptible and immutable; hence, although he does no thing of God as being in the shape of a human body, he is forces to think of God as something corporeal, existence in space and place, either infused into the world or diffused through infinite space.

 7.1.1: God as substance is filling space.  Sponge. 7.4.7

(Why it is important to think of God as material):

 

EVIL

   

2.4.9ff:  The Pear Tree: gratuitous evil.

3.7.12:  Evil is a privation of good to the point of non-entity.

7.5.7:       Evil is nothing.

3.8.16:  Kinds of sin.                  

3.10.18:  Realms of light and darkness for the Manichee:  the Elect eat figs and return trapped light to the universe.  [Materialism.]

4.15.24:  Evil is not a substance.  To err is punishment [since Adam's Fall].

5.10.18:  I thought it was a different nature that sinned.  [Evil as a substance.]  It gave joy to my pride to be above all guilt and when I did an evil deed, not to confess that I myself had done it, so that you might heal my soul, since it had sinned against you.

7.7.11:  Whence evil?  I was proud.  By resisting God, the body rebelled; submit to God and the body submits, thus continence is key. 

7.13.19:  Nothing is evil to God; evil is disharmony and all is harmonious in his vision

7.16.22:  Evil is perversity of will, twisted away from the supreme substance (God) towards lower things.  (Also:  casting away oneself and being proud about it.)                        

8.5.2:  law of sin is the force of habit

8.3.8:  order and disorder

 

WILL/ORIGINAL SIN    

                                                    

1.12.19:  No one does a good if forced to, against one's will.

1.13.19:  Every disordered mind is its own punishment.

1.7.11:  Not even the infant is inculpable:  he is simply too weak to execute his jealousy against his brother.

7.3.4:  Paralysis of will IS punishment.  God does nothing against his will.                                   

7.16.22:  Sin=perversity of the will, twisted away from God to lower things.

8.5.10:  The enemy had control of my will and fashioned a chain of iron and fettered me with it; lust is made out of a perverse will and when lust is served, it becomes habit, and when habit is not resisted, it becomes necessity. 

 

 

8.5.11:  I will and did not will; I was victim.

*8.8.20:  To will with efficacy means you have desire fully mobilized to act:  the power to act and the will are the same, and the very act of willing is actually to do the deed.

*8.9.21:  two wills:  the mind gives orders to itself and is resisted, for it des not will in its entirety.  It is a sickness; two wills exist, since one of them is not complete, and what is lacking in one of them is present in the other.  (Divided will=two wills).

*8.10.22:  But this division of mind does not mean we have two natures; one good and one evil, this is pride: it is I myself who willed it and I myself who did not will it (completely).  It was not the nature of a different mind within me, but rather the punishment of my own nature.  No more that I did, but sin that dwells in me issuing from punishment of a more voluntary sin of Adam (=original sin).

9.1.1: “Who am I and what am I” Is there any evil that is not found in me? am an abyss of corruption. This is the sum of it:  not to will what I willed and to will what you willed.  What is meant by “free will”? (Being free from sin.)

10.27.38:  Command what you will--give what you command!                                            

 

GRACE 

 

1.1.1: [God] arouses the human being to call upon him (by giving them the faith to call upon him).

6.11.20:  No one can be continent unless God gives it.

8.4.9: Grace:  work within us, rouse us and call us back.  Let us love you and run to you.

8.6.14:  Conversion:  Ponticianus and Anthony. 

10.4.5:  All my goods are things you have established.  They are your gifts, my evils are my misdeeds and your judgments against me.

7.21.27:  What does one have that one has not received?

10.35.57:  My one hope is your exceedingly great mercy.         

 

CONFESSION: PRIDE/HUMILITY

 

2.3.5: (I look back and recall to memory my sins) to realize what great depths we must cry unto you.

2.7.15:  Recall to memory and confess since you have forgiven me--I ascribe to God's grace what evils I have NOT done.   

3.5.9:  Offended by the humility of the Scriptures (not up to standards of classical rhetoric)--first conversion to Cicero's Hortensius: love of philosophy does not mention Christ.                             

3.8.16:  By humble devotion, return is made to you and you cleanse us from our evil ways and are merciful to the sins confessed.  

4.1.1:  In your praise let me confess my shame to you; a sacrifice of jubilation.                              

4.12.19:  Descend, so you may ascend, for you have fallen by ascending against God.

5.1.1:  Accept the sacrifice of my confession...You loose [your hand] when you will, either in mercy or vengeance; and there is no one that can hide himself from your heat.

5.10.18:  It is pride not to take responsibility for sin and confess it.

7.7.11:  By serving God, one could subdue the body, but when I would rise up in pride against you, it would rebel...You humble the proud man.

9.4.10:  I suffered compunction; I made a sacrifice, slaying my old self (for renewal).

10.3.4:  Through grace, whoever is weak is strong.

 

ROLE AND MEANING OF CHRIST

 

4.10.15:  In your Word, by which they are created, they hear "From here, unto there (ibi. . . quo).  [I.e, how to return to God after falling into fleshly senses which don't endure.]

4.11.16:  The Word (=Logos=Christ) call us to return: there you will be restored.

*4.12.19:  Our life came down to us and took away death...return to him...confess to be healed...Descend so that you may ascend.

5.10.20:  Manichees are Docetists and think Christ is a (wholly spiritual) phantom.  He could not have been flesh--too polluting to have been born.

7.8.12:  The Physician.

7.9.13:  Christ shows [God] resists the proud.

7.9.14:  Christ=humility; servant, obedient to death on the cross.  [All inversions of classical honor code.]  He died for sinners [not the righteous].

7.18.24:  Christ=the humble man--by clinging to him, we are raised; he heals pride by teaching weakness.

10.42.67:  Christ the mediator, reconciles God and humanity.

10.43.68:  Christ teaches by example humility; both priest and sacrifice, dying vicariously for humanity.

 

 

 

FAITH, REASON, AUTHORITY

 

5.4.7:  who owns the tree and gives thanks is better than one who measures all its branches.

6.5.7:  he realizes how much he takes on faith anyway

6.5.8:  he knows not exactly what must be thought concerning God’s stubstantial being or what way led up to you or back to you; we are too weak to find the truth by pure reason and need the authority of faith

7.6.11:  Let no man say to you, “What is this?” or “Why is that?:  Let him not say it, let him not say if, for is but a man.”

 

 

MYSTERY OF THE SELF

 

4.4.9:       (Friend dies.)  I have become a great riddle to myself.

4.14.22:  (Aug, the Manichee, dedicates work to Hierus).  Man is a mighty deep=mystery--grande profundum.  Providence.

5.2.2: Fleeing from God is fleeing from oneself: you were before me, but I had departed even from myself, and I did not find myself, how much less you.

7.2.1: [He cannot conceive of God except as a corporeal substance] Nor had he any idea of his own self:  I  did not perceive that the mental power by which I formed these images was so such corporeal substance. (knowledge of incorporeal God linked to knowledge of incorporeal mind.)

8.7.16: you stood me face to face with myself, so that I might see hw foul I was, how deformed and defiled. . .but there was no place for me to flee to away from myself; you placed me in from of myself

8.7.18: I stood stripped naked before myself and my conscience upbraided me;  I went into myself, what was there I did not say against myself.

10.5.7:  I know something of [God] I do not know about myself---I confess what I do and do not know.

10.8.15:  Great is the power of memory...yet I do not comprehend all that I am.

10.32.48:  Within me are those lamentable dark areas wherein my own capacities lie hidden from me.                                 

10.33.50:  For in your sight I have become a riddle to myself, and that is my infirmity.   

 

MEMORY, THE SELF AND GOD

  

1.6.10:  Who has the art and power to make himself?

4.7.12:  I remained an unhappy place where I could not abide and from which I could [not] depart.  For where could my heart fly to...apart from my own self?. 

6.1.1:  I sought [God] outside myself, but did not find [him], the God of my heart.

7.10.16:  Entered into my inmost being....when I first saw you, you took me up; I was far from you in a region of unlikeness; you will be changed into me.

4.12.18:  God is within our very hearts, but we have strayed from Him

3.6.11:  (w/ Mani) I wandered from you...but you were more inward than my inmost self; superior to my highest being.

2.2.3:  Your omnipotence is not far from us, even when we are far from you.

10.2.2:  You can hide from your self, but not from God.  Abyss of  conscience; my confession is of my own evil, but when righteous to attribute righteousness to God

10.8.15:  Great is the power of memory. . . I do not comprehend all that I am.

*10.17.26: Great is the power of memory and this I am myself; this thing is the mind, and this am I myself.   I will pass thru memory to find you ;   But I can not find God apart from memory; how can I find you if I do not remember you?

*10.18.27:  The Lost drachma:  Recollection.  When something is found again, it is recognized by the image which is within: like the drachma restored.

*10.20.29:  In Adam, we all knew God and the happy life..                    

*10.24.35:  How far in memory have I traveled in search of God, and beyond it I have not found him...wheresoever I found truth, I found God.

*10.27.36:  Late have I loved you. 

10.40.65:  (End of Pilgrimage through self-examination and memory.)  I entered into the recesses of my memory...myself was not you.  You were that light I consulted concerning all these things....my refuge.  I can find no safe place for my soul except in you.  In you may my scattered longings be gathered together and from you may no part of me ever depart.    

 

 

AUTHORITY, EPISTEMOLOGY, REASON, FAITH

 

1.6.10:  What matters if one does not understand...Let him rejoice...let him love to find you while not finding it out, rather than finding it out, not find you.

5.4.7:  Who praises the Maker of the tree  is better than he who measures the tree.

7.6.10:  God, by hidden inspiration brings it about that, according to the secret merits of men's souls, the consultor may hear what he ought to hear out of the depths of your just judgment.  Let no man say to you, "What is this?" or "Why is that?"  Let him not say it, let him not say it, for he is a man.

6.4.7:  I wished to be as certain of things that I could not see, as I was certain that seven and three make ten...but one can never be healed except by believing.

6.5.7:  I thought it was preferable to be Catholic and accept the command to believe what could not be demonstrated...than to make a mockery of credulity by rash promises of sure knowledge...(We take much on authority anyway)--unless we believed these things, nothing could be done at all in this life.

6.5.8:  We were too weak to find the truth by pure reason, and for that cause we needed the authority of the Holy Writ...

8.3.8:  (God has ordered the world so that) greater joy is preceded by greater suffering; and 8.4.9: the weak confound the wise.  [=Dialectical thinking characteristic of Christianity.]             

10.8.14:  There are all those things which I remember either as experienced by me or as taken on trust from others.

10.35.55: Curiositas:  perverted science condemned.

 

RIGHT USE OF THE WORLD

 

10.6.10:  (We should not be subject to things which change, but we can compare the voice taken from the outside to the truth within.)

10.31ff--Food, drink, pleasures of sight, sound, praise, false humility, etc.

10.32.48:  Whole of life is a trial.